Can the Savannah Bananas save MLB?

We were in Denver a couple of weeks ago and the Savannah Bananas were playing that evening at Coors Field. We couldn’t go but watched the game on TV. I’ve never seen the Bananas play before, and you should know that by the time something like this makes its way to me, it’s no longer a cultural fad; it’s become mainstream.

As for the game itself, it was shall we say, interesting. The rules are very different – my colleague Cullen Jekel had a nice writeup about the rules earlier this year.

My wife was crazy about the game and caught a good case of Banana fever. I watched with what I would call a morbid fascination. The best I can relate it to would be that the Bananas are the baseball equivalent of the Harlem Globetrotters. There are some differences. The Trotters over the years had some players who were NBA caliber. None of the Bananas are going to be moving up to MLB. And that’s fine. They do some impressive stuff, especially in the field.

The infielders routinely pass the ball between their legs before throwing to first.

Fly balls are sometimes caught behind their backs or between their legs.

I thought the right fielder did a front flip after catching a ball. Or maybe it was a front flip as he caught the ball. Impressive. Unfortunately, I wasn’t controlling the remote, so I couldn’t back up and make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me.

The guy who plays on stilts? Loved it. That was impressive.

There were a lot of things about the game that I really liked.

I liked the fact that the pitchers took about five seconds between pitches.

I liked that the batters swung at anything that resembled a strike.

I loved it that the batters often hit to the opposite field.

I loved the rule that prohibits bunting! I can’t tell you how much I love that rule.

The crowd, a sellout, was heavily involved in this game. Bananas owner Jesse Cole, resplendent in a yellow tux, came out between every inning with a microphone and entertained the crowd. Can you imagine John Sherman, dressed in a royal blue tux, taking the field between innings to exhort the crowd?

I love it that they brought out some former stars for a turn. Former Rockie Ubaldo Jimenez pitched to a batter. Vinny Castillo came out and took an at-bat.

The crowd went, well, bananas for these guys.

Each team had some dance routines, and the umpire also got into the dancing thing.

The players of both teams were embracing their alter egos. The designated runner wore a yellow racing helmet and a tutu. The first baseman, who reminded me of Fred Flintstone, played most of the game with his shirt unbuttoned to the waist.

For a traditional baseball fan, it takes some getting used to. There are some rules that bend the mind. If a fan catches a foul ball, it’s an out. This is something that could come in handy when the Yankees are in town.

I didn’t see a radar gun or the speed of pitches shown anywhere, and that’s fine. It looked like most of the hurlers were coming in around 80 mph, give or take. I did see an occasional curveball, but nothing that resembled what we see in a major league bullpen.

The designated runner was…interesting. MLB has been down that road before. Just look up Herb Washington. Roster spots are too valuable nowadays for a fringe like that.

If a player draws a walk, he takes as many bases as he can until every player on the defense touches the ball.

In the last inning, each team can use one player as a “Golden” at-bat. In that spot, you’re sending up your best hitter for an extra cut. This idea has been floated around by none other than baseball commissioner Rob Manfred as a way to liven up games. I think the idea plays well for the Bananas. I’m not crazy about MLB adopting it.

At the airport the next day, I was surprised to see many travelers in Bananas gear. Didn’t see a single traveler in a Rockies or Royals jersey. Or any jersey of any team, for that matter. Much like the Globetrotters, the Bananas have built an aura of fun and joy, much like the Globetrotters. My grandfather played against the Trotters in the 1950s and I heard his stories. He said Marques Haynes and Goose Tatum were fabulous ball players. The Globetrotters were regular fare on ABC’s Wide World of Sports, so by the time they came to our area in 1979, I was jacked to see them. I sat in the front row, across from their bench. When Meadowlark Lemon grabbed the water bucket and ran across the court, directly at me, I had a momentary panic attack. Was it confetti or water? Confetti? Water?

He ran along the sideline, past me, and threw the bucket on a woman about four seats away. Whew. Confetti.

The entire thing was great, campy entertainment. You knew the Trotters would win the game. It was fun seeing the legendary Trotters and their foil, the Washington Generals, and their fearless leader, Red Klotz. Klotz had been a college baseball star at Villanova and later played for the Washington Bullets of the NBA. He had some gam,e even though he was almost 60 when I saw him play.

To me, this is what the Savanah Bananas are. Enjoyable campy fun that allows the fans to participate without deep emotional attachment. You’re not caught up in their won-loss record, or if they’re in a pennant race or if the GM just traded away the team’s best player. You’re just there to have a good time and enjoy the antics.

Can MLB glean some ideas from the Bananas to help win over a new generation of fans?

First, let’s talk about the current state of Major League Baseball. Is baseball even broken?

I don’t think it is. I do think the commissioner is a tone-deaf hand puppet of the owners. To call him commissioner is a misnomer. We know the commissioner works for the owners, but he should also work for the players and the fans. In short, he should work on the game. I’m not sure Rob Manfred understands this.

The Golden at-bat that Manfred floated earlier? Deep six it. And while you’re at it, get rid of the Manfred man. There should only be one Manfred Mann, and that’s the singer.

Manfred has been in the news lately proposing expansion. As a fan, I must ask, why? Nearly every team has at least four or five guys who should be in AAA or out of the league. Some teams have more than that. Expansion will only dilute the talent pool further and diminish the quality of play.

If anything, consider contracting a few teams. Tell the players and the owners that two teams (or four) will be contracted in five years. Whichever two teams have the worst cumulative record after five years will be gone. This five-year window gives the owners time to get serious about putting a winner on the field.

Who has the worst record over the past five seasons? Through August 19, the Colorado Rockies and the Washington Nationals would be the two teams contracted. The Royals can’t rest on any laurels, as they have the 7th-worst record during that span. This would force organizations to hire better staff, better scouts, and to open up their checkbooks for better players.

Disburse the contracted players in a draft and realign the remaining 28 teams into four divisions of seven teams each. Keep the National and American League identities. Bring back the American League East and the American League West. Same in the National.

That was another of Manfred’s hairbrained ideas, to eliminate the AL and NL. Someone needs to tell Manfred to either get a better PR person or stop talking to the media.

Shall we continue? Shorten the season. Cut it back to what, 150 games? Sounds about right. Maybe the reduction in games will begin to reduce the plethora of arm injuries we are seeing.

While we’re at it, let’s condense the playoffs. Does anyone want to see a .500 team in the playoffs? I don’t.

In the new format, have the two division winners play the two teams with the best records (wildcard teams) in a best-of-five series at the field of the division winner. The winners of those series then play a seven-game series for the right to go to the World Series.

I’m just spit-balling here, but what I’m trying to get at is for baseball to recreate some magic and mystique. Right now, I believe there is too much baseball. Too much of anything is not good for us, be it booze, broads or baseball. We have too many teams. As fans, we’re drinking from a firehose of exposure. By the time the season draws to a close, I’m burned out and ready for football. And I’m a passionate baseball fan. Right now, without looking, I can’t tell you who won the last World Series. I don’t think I even watched it. To me, that’s troubling. (I just looked it up; the Dodgers beat the Yankees. I recall Freddie Freeman’s home run. That’s it).

I don’t see any need to add teams. The Oakland/Sacramento/Vegas A’s have no idea where they may end up. Tampa needs a new stadium, and the city seems in no hurry to get that done. Maybe the Rays end up moving to Nashville or Montreal?

The owner of the Rockies seems content to cash his checks while putting an inferior product on the field. Even the Royals and the surrounding metro area, have been squabbling about a new stadium location for close to two years.

The Savanna Bananas can’t save or improve MLB. That’s not their gig. Rob Manfred doesn’t have the stones or the brain power to improve baseball. I feel bad about ripping on Manfred, but of the four major sport commissioners, is there one that is worse? Maybe Roger Goodell, who strikes me as a complete tool. Unbelievably, the best commissioner may very well be Gary Bettman. Bettman has gone through periods of being reviled by hockey fans, but the NHL seems to be the most stable and exciting of the big four. The talent of the NHL looks better than ever and there’s nothing in the sporting world like playoff hockey. Hockey is returning to the Olympics, and the 4 Nations Face-Off was a smashing success. The NHL has a good thing going on.

Adam Silver seems content to ride out the NBA’s slow decline. Does anyone even watch the NBA? The party line is that the NBA is big overseas. That’s great, if your thing is watching guys travel, carry the ball, and clank three pointers.

The NFL is such a powerhouse, it would take a gargantuan level of incompetence to ruin it. Which leaves Manfred and MLB.

I’m sure this opinion will be unpopular with many, but there is something to be said for a little scarcity. I love eating a good steak, but I don’t want one every night.

I also understand there’s no way the owners are going to agree to contraction or even to reduce the number of games played in a season. And condensing the playoffs? Forget about it. There’s too much money to be made!

As long as the owners have Manfred on a leash, there will not be any positive changes to the game.