Utahns are everywhere lately, and we’re just as confused as you are

Sometimes I wonder what it must be like to be an outsider looking in at Utah. I wonder what, say, someone who lives in Ohio must think about the Beehive State.

I think those preconceived notions were easy to predict during prior decades. The average person on the street, when asked about Utah, would probably say “big families” or “churchy” or, worst-case scenario, “lots of wives.” But I wonder if that’s changed over the last few years as Utahns and pop culture personalities adjacent to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have become ubiquitous, at least in my circles of influence and media diet.

I’m watching “Dancing With The Stars” for the first time ever, in part because my children love it, but mostly because I’m curious to see how Whitney Leavitt and Jen Affleck from “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” fare. As a new viewer, I was shocked to learn that between host Julianne Hough, judge Derek Hough, the dance pros Witney Carson, Ezra Sosa, Jenna Johnson, Brandon Armstrong and Rylee Arnold, and the “stars” Leavitt and Affleck, half the cast is from Utah! And the majority of those Utahns attended my high school!

Meanwhile, Leavitt and Affleck’s co-star, Taylor Frankie Paul, will be the next Bachelorette in “The Bachelor” franchise, arguably one of the most prestigious reality television honors that exists. It’s not purely by merit that she was named “The Bachelorette,” of course. Disney owns both Hulu, where “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” premiered, and ABC, which airs “The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette” and “Dancing With The Stars.” Good old-fashioned corporate synergy is to thank for those casting choices. But that doesn’t explain why “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” became a cultural phenomenon or why Provo, Utah, produced so much of the talent on “DWTS.”

Nor does it explain why “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” is running away with the Best Housewives Franchise title. A recent US Weekly headline read, “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Are Officially the Best Cast Ever” and celebrities in red carpet and talk show interviews seem to agree. On the Golden Globes carpet, actress Jennifer Lawrence called the Season 4 finale the best reality TV finale she’d ever seen on television and offered to give the cast her Oscar. On “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert,” “Last Week Tonight” host John Oliver called “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” a “masterpiece,” and called the cast “the most magnificent monsters on television.” On Amy Poehler’s podcast “Good Hang,” fellow “SNL” alum Kristen Wiig took time out of her interview to show Poehler the footage of Jen Shah’s arrest in the Beauty Lab and Laser parking lot.

But maybe the average citizen pays no attention to reality television and none of these events have hit their radar nor influenced the way they think about Utah or its people and culture. But there’s a good chance they do pay attention to college football. In which case, they likely saw the president of Barstool Sports, Dave Portnoy — who was in town for the University of Utah v. BYU rivalry game — tour the BYU campus and call the BYU Bookstore the best bookstore he’s been in. This was a particular point of pride for me as a former BYU Bookstore employee. Perhaps you remember me from the candy counter? I was very generous with the fudge samples.

Anyway. Portnoy also waited in a long line to try the BYU Creamery ice cream and said, “This is spectacular ice cream. … No wonder there’s a line around the corner. Best campus ice cream I’ve ever had.” He said that without even trying Graham Canyon, if you can believe it.

So it’s not a major stretch of the imagination, I think, to assume people outside of Utah might be wondering what’s going on here that has made Utahns feel so ubiquitous in American culture. They might even be wondering if this is some sort of sleeper cell situation, planned and executed by Utahns to gain prominence or, I don’t know, maybe another seat in Congress?

But I want to assure those on the outside looking in that we’re just as confused as everyone else.

You think we live here because we want notoriety? Absolutely not. I picked my city because there’s a stunning view of the mountains and ample parking at Target.

My biggest concern about living here up until this point has not been paparazzi lurking around every corner or gaining access to high-profile events, but rather whether the deer that wander the neighborhood are going to eat my perennials again. Running into a mountain lion is a real fear I have living in my Salt Lake City suburb.

It’s disorienting to be hearing about Utah so much in national media. And historically, the general public paying any attention to us makes me more nervous than anything. When Andy Cohen announced “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City,” I panicked. My state was about to be thrown into the national spotlight, whether we were ready for it or not. I wasn’t ready to be perceived! I wasn’t ready for any of us to be perceived!

But now, six years into the show and with what feels like a critical mass of attention on Utah, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t having fun. Whitney Leavitt is arguably this season’s best contestant on “Dancing With The Stars,” and watching her on the latest episode, and the following 10s from the judges, was a true delight. The Salt Lake City housewives are as entertaining as ever. And I’m delighted to see sports fans discover the same chocolate-covered cinnamon bears at the BYU bookstore. There are downsides, obviously. Like misconceptions about who most Utahns are and what they believe. And watching Portnoy doing Swig completely wrong. And having to worry about being caught on camera in one of the reality shows filmed here. Which has happened to me twice now.

But there’s always going to be a little bad with the good, and overall, we, or at least I, am having a lot of fun. At least for now.

Whether this influx of attention is long lasting or just a flash in the pan remains to be seen. But I want outsiders to understand that while we didn’t ask for this, we are, at least to some extent, enjoying it.

Or maybe the average person in Ohio isn’t looking in at us at all and I’m making a whole lot of something out of nothing. Which would be very like me, to be honest. And if that’s the case, I’ll continue watching “Dancing With The Stars” with my kids with a little less anxiety.