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Abby Howard is sharing how she’s reframed her miscarriage to help her process her grief
The influencer said she’d come to the realization while in her car the other day
Abby and her husband Matt Howard announced they’d lost their third baby in September
Abby Howard is sharing how she reframed her miscarriage to help her move through her grief.
The influencer, 26, shared an emotional video on her Instagram on Thursday, Nov. 13, as she spoke about experiencing a miscarriage at 17 weeks with her third baby with husband Matt Howard. Abby began by getting ready for the day and shared that her miscarriage has been the “most devastating thing” she’s experienced in her life so far.
“But navigating through all this pain and blame and guilt and anger and deep sadness has taught me something I never would have expected,” Abby said in the video. “About a week ago, when I was just driving in the car, I came to this conclusion that has changed almost everything for me.”
“Not everyone is going to see grief and loss this way, and that’s totally okay. It’s something that’s so deeply personal to each person,” she continued. “But I realized that for me, grief is the price of love. I’m grieving so hard because I loved so hard.”
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Abby began tearing up as she said that even before her daughter was born, she loved her so much. She’s realized that her grief is so strong because she loves so fiercely.
“I wouldn’t have grieved like that if I didn’t first love like I did. And here’s the biggest part of it — it was worth it. I paid that price and I would do it again,” Abby admitted. “Viewing my own heavy grief through the lens of love changed everything for me. I welcome it now because it validates the loving mom that I am.”
“And I also don’t have to dwell in that grief, because I have decided that it was worth the cost,” she explained, adding that this sentiment isn’t necessarily a new one.
“But when it was personal to me and the loss of our daughter, it was so much more profound,” Abby said. “Now I couldn’t have told you this the day of or even a few weeks after. This was something that I had to arrive to after time and contemplation. But now I can look back at this time of my life and see love before I see loss.”
In the caption of her video, Abby shared, “This way of looking at our miscarriage has changed everything for me. I wanted to share it in the chance it could be helpful for you.”
The Howards — who are parents to sons Griffin, 3, and August, 2 — initially announced their pregnancy loss in a joint Instagram post on Sept. 27, writing, “It is with very heavy hearts that we share about the loss of our baby girl born far too soon.”
Matt and Abby shared in their post, which featured a photo of the couple holding hands as the latter wore a hospital gown, that they learned that they were expecting a daughter that “had a genetic condition that took her life around 17 weeks gestation.”
The post went on: “The news felt unimaginable. The grief is absolutely devastating. But we feel so much gratitude for the time that we did get to have with her. And we still have hope. Hope has continued to show up for us in so many ways.”
They concluded by welcoming “thoughts and prayers” as they “grieve and continue to think of ways to honor her life offline,” the influencers wrote. “Thank you everyone for celebrating this precious life with us for the past 17 weeks.”
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‘ The preceding article may include information circulated by third parties ’
‘ Some details of this article were extracted from the following source nz.news.yahoo.com ’
