Every Thanksgiving, Gossip Girl fans gather around the TV to rewatch one of the show’s most iconic episodes: “The Treasure of Serena Madre” (S3E11). While it’s not the show’s only Thanksgiving episode, it’s easily the messiest.
If you’ve seen this viral clip of everyone getting exposed at the Thanksgiving table as “Whatcha Say” by Jason Derulo plays in the background, then you know what I’m talking about:
The CW/ @thegwendalupe / Via Twitter: @thegwendalupe
This turkey season, I thought it would be fun to revisit the (in)famous episode and soak up all the chaos yet again. Here are all the thoughts I had rewatching it:
1. Okay, first of all, I forgot how weird it is that Serena and Dan are step-siblings and exes. I feel like this type of thing doesn’t happen nearly as often IRL as it does in teen dramas??
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2. Eric is really setting the mood here.
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3. Serena having an affair with her married congressman boss is genuinely one of the most unhinged plots in the history of The CW. It’s actually impressive how terrible her judgment is.
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4. Oh yeah, remember when Dan and Vanessa had a threesome with Hilary Duff? Absolute peak ’00s pop culture.
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5. Why do none of these characters call or text before coming over? I know Dan and Vanessa are close and all, but showing up with all of your bags and just announcing that you’re staying over for the holidays is wild.
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6. What are the odds that Lily just happens to bump into Maureen? I guess it’s possible for them to run into each other, but this is NYC, not Stars Hollow ffs.
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7. Tripp telling Serena they can spend quality time together at Thanksgiving dinner while his WIFE is also going to be there makes me want to vomit.
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8. Tripp and Serena are almost comically terrible at sneaking around. Do they not know that elevator security cameras are a thing?
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9. Props to Eleanor Waldorf for being the one person to actually CALL the host ahead of time instead of just crashing Thanksgiving dinner.
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10. Ugh, now Lily’s mom is also coming to Thanksgiving dinner, and of course she and Rufus kept it a “surprise.” Lily’s face really says it all here.
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11. “Opening the door is his job, Mom, that’s why he’s called the doorman. It’s not derogatory.” How have I never clocked this incredible dialogue before?
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12. This whole exchange between Serena, Tripp, and Maureen is so painful. I can’t take this anymore.
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13. Ohhh right, Nate stole the security tape of Serena and Tripp “playing grab ass” in the elevator (as Chuck so succinctly put it). This is giving me Coldplay kiss cam vibes.
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14. Yay, the music is starting! That means the tea is brewing.
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15. “Your sweet potatoes are bland” will go down as one of the most brutal lines in history.
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16. The way this whole misunderstanding between Blair and her mom could have been resolved in literally five seconds if she’d just asked Eleanor if she was pregnant instead of shoving wine and cheese in her face.
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17. Okay, Maureen was kind of a real one for just spilling all of this at the table. She’d make a great reality show star.
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18. Wait, did anyone eat at all? I guess Blair is at least eating the pie…
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19. Serena’s grandmother is all of us watching this drama unfold.
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20. I can’t stop laughing at Serena telling her mom “it’s not what it looks like.” Girl, there is literal FOOTAGE of you and Tripp making out in the elevator.
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21. I love how petty Eric is this entire episode. Sorry Jenny, you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.
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22. God, it must be SO nice to be able to just jet off to Paris any time you’re bummed about something.
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23. Serena and Tripp’s affair is back on and I officially have a headache.
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24. Maybe I just watch too many teen dramas, but Nate begging Serena to stay with him instead of getting into the car with Tripp gives me total “Conrad Fisher pouring his heart out on the beach” vibes.
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25. “Let’s go get drunk.” I, too, need a drink after this episode.
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Oh, Gossip Girl. You never disappoint!
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All seasons of Gossip Girl are available to stream on HBO Max.
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