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Nikki Glaser’s Golden Globes monologue brutally roasts both celebrities and the government

Story Center by Story Center
January 12, 2026
Reading Time: 2 mins read
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Nikki Glaser's Golden Globes monologue brutally roasts both celebrities and the government

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Golden Globes host Nikki Glaser kicked off the awards ceremony with a self-aware monologue tonight, nodding at current news events that are driving pretty much everyone to distraction.

“Yes, the Golden Globes: without a doubt, the most important thing that’s happening in the world right now,” said Glaser. “I cannot believe the amount of star power we have in this room tonight. It’s insane. There are so many A-listers. And by A-listers, I do mean people who are on A-list that has been heavily redacted.”

Glaser also jokingly announced a few Golden Globe winners for non-existent categories, awarding Best Editing to the U.S. Justice Department and Most Editing to CBS News.

“CBS News: America’s newest place to see BS news,” Glaser quipped.

That isn’t to say Glaser didn’t dedicate plenty of time to roasting the Golden Globes’ attendees as well. This included a dig at One Battle After Another actor Leonardo DiCaprio for his infamous habit only dating women under 30 — apparently the only information Glaser could dig up about him.

“I tried not to [make that joke], but like, we don’t know anything else about you, man,” Glaser said, addressing DiCaprio from the stage. “Like, there’s nothing else. Like, open up. I’m serious! I looked. I searched. The most in-depth interview you’ve ever given was in Teen Beat magazine in 1991. Is your favourite food still pasta, pasta, and more pasta?”

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