Let’s All Be Normal About Alexander Skarsgård’s Sexuality, Please

As a nosy bisexual, I implicitly consider everyone’s sexuality my business, but even I have been grossed out by the level of public discourse around freaky-dresser-extraordinaire Alexander Skarsgård of late. The Swedish actor, who stars as a BDSM-inclined gay biker in the new film Pillion, recently clarified comments he made to Variety last October, when he told the publication: “I found that in this case, it’s not really relevant what my background is. I mean, I do have a kid, but what I’ve done in the past, who I’ve been with, men, women… To me, what was important was that this felt like an opportunity to tell a story about a subculture I hadn’t seen portrayed this way—with so much authenticity.”

This week, Skarsgård (sort of) spoke to Variety about his sexuality once again, saying in an interview: “That [the role[ resonated with my past? It was definitely not an intended statement. I don’t know what I was talking about. Maybe it has to do with—there’s a lot of focus sometimes on me as an actor. Maybe it was trying to shift the focus more to the story and these characters. And the importance of telling the story like this.”

Okay! We could definitely just leave it there as a society, but obviously, we haven’t; Skarsgård’s sexuality is trending on social media, with many speculating about his possible bisexuality even after he effectively denied it.

To be clear, I’m not saying we should never, ever discuss any famous person’s romantic or sexual inclinations. As I said before, I am gay, I love gossip, and I’ll admit to being intrigued by Skarsgård’s longtime friendship with Jack McBrayer, a.k.a. Kenneth the Page from 30 Rock. But two men can just be friends! You’re hearing it more and more these days! (Also, not that it really matters, but Kenneth himself was canonically straight; remember his chaste dalliance with fellow NBC page Grace Park in Season 1?)

Skarsgård’s individual identity aside, however, we really do seem to have a cultural allergy to being normal about bisexuals (and lesbians, for that matter. I’m still waiting for people to settle down about Chappell Roan!). It’s totally natural for us as queer people to want more LGBTQ+ role models in the public eye, especially in this moment of anti-trans legislation and threats to gay marriage. But that doesn’t mean we’re entitled to the full details of any individual celebrity’s dating history, especially if they don’t seem entirely comfortable opening up in that particular direction.

After all, visibility doesn’t necessarily equal acceptance or safety for actual, self-identified members of the LGBTQ+ community. Even if Skarsgård were gay or bisexual and out loud and proud about it, would that meaningfully change the material reality of any queer or trans person struggling to live their life in the US right now?

I’m not saying queer role models aren’t important, but in this time of homophobic repression, maybe we’d all be better off if we focused a little less on idle gay-celebrity-gossip speculation and a little more on how to fight homophobia and transphobia wherever they crop up in our own lives.