I think I know who’s getting banished on ‘The Celebrity Traitors’

Call me Mystic Harry, if you want. Last week I used my Celebrity Traitors column to predict that Alan Carr would be donning a hooded cloak and heading up to the turret to commit some murders under the cover of darkness. And lo and behold…

We’re two episodes into The Celebrity Traitors and it’s every bit as good as I had hoped. Alan is every ounce the Traitor I knew he would be and he’s playing a good game of making people laugh and using that to his advantage. I suggested he’d do this last week, but he’s playing a game where he’ll be *so bad* at being a Traitor that he could actually be good. He’s so funny that people just want to keep him around.

Read next

Of the others in that group of Traitors, it’s clear that Jonathan Ross is the leader and Cat Burns will be the one who finds that perfect balance where she’s in the background and will pounce if she needs to. They just need to do everything logistically and don’t make any rash decisions that could cast suspicions on them. Oh, and they need to Traitor Up. Not toughen up, but Traitor Up. I hope that they stop feeling bad for murdering people and enjoy it! I still remember when we murdered our first Faithful, Aubrey, and Paul [Gorton] said it tasted like chocolate. Because ultimately, what they’re doing is getting the numbers down and getting one day closer to winning a substantial prize pot for their chosen charity. So have a blast with it!

Which brings us to the Faithfuls. It’s really interesting to see the leaders emerge and they’re not necessarily the people you’d think. You’ve got athletes like Tom Daley and Joe Marler who could well emerge as leaders yet, but I’ve been incredibly impressed by Ruth Codd. The way she stood up and ordered them into the vote when they working out who each coffin belonged to was incredible. I think things like that will help her solidify her role as an amazing Faithful and I don’t think she’d be scared to go for someone if she has a gut instinct. That’s exactly why I think she might come and shock us, because it seems like right now, early on, she’s sort of just taking it all in and ready to pounce when she needs to.

As for suspicions from the rest of the group, it’s been interesting watching them cast some wrong eyes in Kate Garraway’s way. She’s definitely overcompensated with some of her reactions and she perfectly described it as just being “hammy”. Now I’ve never used that word before, but I love it so much that I’m going to use it in future when I over-egg stuff a little bit.

Those suspicions obviously meant that Kate was under fire at the roundtable, but if I’m being completely honest I don’t think we’ve seen the last of her. Yep, I reckon it’s Niko Omilana who is going tonight. He’s really intelligent but he’s not that known by all of them, he doesn’t have the connections that Kate might have and I wonder if they’ll be naturally suspicious of this prankster too. I actually think he did a better job of defending himself than Kate did, but people are always scared of the unknown and that could really cost Niko when it comes to the roundtable. I hope I’m wrong, but I can’t see it. Whoever survives is also likely to see that all of the heat that’s been on them is likely to disappear for the days after the banishment. The Faithfuls will think they’ve gone in the completely wrong direction and will want to look in a completely different way.

Either way, it’s turning out to be a complete treat. We’ve seen them lug a trojan horse up a hill, the hilarious image of Alan Carr going up into the Turret is now my phone background, and it’s shaping up to be unparalleled chaos. Let the games continue…