Months after the tragic loss of her newborn baby girl, Miracle, emerging dancehall artiste Kizzy Don is planning to have another baby with her partner, fellow dancehall artiste Kiprich. She believes that having another baby may help to speed up her healing process.
“I am not going to truly heal until I get back another child. I feel like a part of me missing still because mi don’t have the baby. So, anytime I get back a baby, I feel like I can try to look past things. I will feel better about the situation … I just want back a child,” Kizzy Don said.
In January of this year, Kizzy developed complications after accompanying Kiprich to a gig in Colombia. Miracle, who was born premature, died on January 29 at a hospital in Barranquilla, Colombia. The pain of that loss still lingers and has had a corrosive effect on her life. Kizzy has since sought professional help and counselling.
She shared that she is prone to fits of crying and it is not unusual for a rain of frustrated and angry tears to descend on her without warning, clouding her days. This has affected her normally sunny personality and even tainted her interaction with fans in the public.
“I find myself crying a lot. I feel like I am not ready to engage with them … when I see them, I try to hide. I know they want to talk about it, but I am so hurt about it, I don’t how to express myself,” she said.
She has been struggling to cope with the problem and has been attending regular therapy sessions.
“I still don’t know how to open up about it. My mother is a strong, black woman. She only cried when she prayed to God … she always seh ‘Keep moving forward’, so that’s how I deal with it. My only coping mechanism is to keep moving forward,” Kizzy Don said.
She explained that music has helped her to cope and, one week ago, she released a new song and video for an emotionally charged song called Therapy, which details her intense pain and psychological struggles. The video, which was released last Friday, has racked up more than 110,000 views.
One of the most poignant lines in Therapy goes: “ What did I do? I am living but I am confused.”
Kizzy explained that those words crystallise the emotional heartbreak and the intense, traumatic grief characterised by profound sadness, guilt, emptiness, and anger parents feel after the death of a child.
“Those lines are the most powerful for me, because that is my reality, I am constantly questioning the situation, what did I do? What did I do for this to happen to me and Kipo?” she asked.
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Kiprich played an instrumental role in helping Kizzy to articulate her grief as she penned the song, and she hailed him for being “a wonderful partner”.
“I didn’t even know how to do a song like this. When I heard the song the first time, I hide and cry because I didn’t want Kipo to see me crying . He is trying to be strong for me, so I don’t want to give off that energy,” she said.
She shared that she has been comforted by the response of the fans who weighed in on the track, praising the lyrics, its haunting melodies, song arrangement and the emotional depth of the soundscape.
“ This song touches the deepest parts of the soul….. it speaks the words many of us struggle to say out loud. Pain, healing, love, and strength all wrapped into one beautiful expression. Music like this reminds us that even when we feel alone, someone out there,” one listener wrote.
Another fan chimed in: “A m I the only one crying? It’s like I can feel the pain somehow (hearts).”
Some commiserated with her pain, writing: “ Bwoy dis mek mi feel emotional.”
Others encouraged her to “ keep healing baby girl, you got this”.
Kizzy Don hopes that she can get some closure with the release of Therapy.
“I don’t want to be crying every day, I don’t want the household to be sad, because one person has to be strong. He is trying to get the fun side out of me, but it’s a struggle for me, but this song itself is a bit of therapy for me,” she explained.
Kizzy Don has an active and engaged social media base where she has attracted over 179,000 followers on Instagram and over 325,000 on Tik Tok. She hasn’t been as active in recent months.
“When I open the camera, I don’t know what to say,” she explained of her withdrawal from social media. “Only time can heal all things.”
‘ The preceding article may include information circulated by third parties ’
‘ Some details of this article were extracted from the following source jamaica-gleaner.com ’
