Chelsea Handler, The Rock lead Hart burns at ‘Roast of Kevin Hart’

LOS ANGELES — It was the world against Kevin Hart at Netflix’s “The Roast of Kevin Hart” on Sunday, May 10. There were no clear winners.

The “Jumanji” star, 46, endured every type of abuse at the Kia Forum event hosted by Shane Gillis and featuring roasters including Chelsea Handler, Pete Davidson, Jeff Ross, Tony Hinchcliffe, NBA star Draymond Green and The Rock.

Tom Brady, who Hart skewered as host during 2024’s “The Greatest Roast of All Time: The Roast of Tom Brady,” returned to make a surprise cameo to deliver payback in MVP style. But Brady wisely exited the arena before the roast fireworks started streaming globally live on Netflix.

The evenly handed roasts were truly not safe for work. But here are the best shots (that we’re able to print) delivered at Hart during the nearly three-hour abuse marathon.

Tom Brady’s crashes Kevin Hart’s roast Seeks payback, flirts with star’s wife from the stage

Host Shane Gillis takes swipes at Kevin Hart’s movies and height

Hart’s penchant for making subpar comedies for paychecks was a frequent talking point.

“We’re all here to honor Kevin Hart, and what better way to do that than to take a paycheck and pretend that we’re having fun,” said Gillis. “Every time you put on one of Kevin’s movies, you say, ‘I see where this is staying.'”

Gillis hit on Hart’s height (another frequent topic), which is believed to be around 5-foot-2 (with shoes).

“Not many people know this, but Kevin has a 44-inch vertical leap. I know that because he can kiss his wife on the lips,” said Gillis.

‘Roastmaster General’ Jeff Ross hits on height issues, bad movies

Ross, known as the “Roastmaster General” for his roasts, appeared onstage in Eddie Murphy’s famed red leather outfit from “Delirious.”

“Tonight, I’m dressed like your idol, Eddie Murphy. Because he’s not coming. Your idol doesn’t give a [expletive] about you,” said Ross. “Everyone is here for you. For a guy that’s only going to need one pallbearer, you’re sure going to have a lot to choose from.”

Ross gave movie jabs tied in with personal shots about Hart’s childhood.

“I mean, how can you not love Kevin Hart? I don’t know, you’ll have to ask his father,” said Ross. “Kevin, your dad walked out on you, and that was awful. And then I went and saw one of your movies, and I walked out on you, too.”

Of course, there were height jokes.

“Kevin Hart always flies private. What a waste of leg room,” said Ross. “Kevin, people make fun of you for being short. But you know who else was short? Prince. Prince was 5-foot-2. But we don’t talk about it because Prince was great.”

Ross, who was diagnosed with colon cancer after getting his first colonoscopy in his 50s, thanked Hart for saving his life.

“At the last roast, you said that, ‘Every time you see me, I look sicker and sicker.’ Everyone laughed, and that hurt. But you inspired me to get my first-ever colonoscopy. That cancer screening was more entertaining than any screening you ever invited me to,” said Ross. “They found a Stage 3 tumor in my colon. Luckily, like you, Kevin, it stopped growing. So thank you, little buddy, for saving my life.”

Chelsea Handler apologizes for discovering Kevin Hart

Handler stayed on the colonoscopy theme, taking credit for discovering Hart by putting the young comedian on her “Chelsea Lately” talk show.

“People think that Kevin was discovered during one of The Rock’s colonoscopies, but that’s not true,” said Handler. “I was one of the first people to give Kevin a platform for his comedy with a weekly spot on ‘Chelsea Lately.’ I had no idea we would be subjected to three ‘Jumanji’ movies and two ‘Ride Along’ movies.”

“I’m here to apologize,” she added.

In another segment, Handler addressed Hart’s 2013 DUI arrest and a 2019 Los Angeles car accident.

“Kevin had a DUI in 2013 and a little dipsy-do on Mulholland Drive in 2019,” said Handler. “And then he has the nerve to call one of his movies ‘Ride Along.’ Even Tiger Woods is like, ‘No thanks, I’ll walk.'”

Pete Davidson got some jabs in on Hart

Former “SNL” star Pete Davidson was kind to Hart, saying that the comedy star “will be remembered.” But he got some licks in as well, comparing Hart’s height to NBA star Green.

“Kevin looks like Draymond Green’s Funko Pop,” said Davidson.

Regina Hall communes with Kevin Hart’s dead mother from the stage

Actress Regina Hall said she has known Hart for 20 years, “and I’ve seen all his movies. And, despite that, I’m still here tonight.”

Hall said that Hart’s late mother, Nancy Hart, still communicates with her. Hall gave messages from beyond to her son and everyone on the stage.

“Kevin, she said that she misses your movies. They don’t go up there in heaven, because it’s heaven,” said Hall. “But she said that your dad is enjoying them all down there where he is.”

After hitting everyone with barbs, Hall went back to Hart.

“Last thing Miss Nancy says is, ‘Thank you all for being here to celebrate with my son,'” said Hall. “She said, ‘I love you, Kevin Hart. Have fun on your big night. And now I have to get back to (deceased actor) Michael Clarke Duncan.‘”

The Rock appeares last: ‘Finally, Daddy’s home!’

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson made a surprise appearance, introduced by Venus and Serena Williams. He absolutely brought the house down.

“The ‘Franchise Viagra’ is in the house,” said Johnson, who followed Brady by overtly hitting on Hart’s wife Eniko, who was in the audience. “Now this roast can go hard all night long. Buckle up, Netflix.

“I’m actually here because someone needs to chew up Kevin’s food and spit it in his mouth. Isn’t that right, my little chocolate baby bird?” said Johnson. He added, “Hello, Kevin, shut up.”

Johnson said he loved Hart so much that he had a tattoo of his frequent collaborator placed on his crotch.

“It’s life-sized too,” said Johnson, who offered to show it to Hart, who declined. “Eniko, I’ll show it to you later. I’m kidding. She’s already seen it.”

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: ‘Roast of Kevin Hart’ has Chelsea Handler, The Rock bringing burns