Bombshell new Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor claims emerge

Plastic ice cream sick buckets were a staple of Australian car trips in the 80s and 90s, and I’d suggest you get yours out now.

The new allegations about the former Prince Andrew’s behaviour towards animals and women, plus a story about him turning up at a boarding school will leave you feeling unwell. That, or so angry you will want to chuck said ice cream bucket.

Last year, historian Andrew Lownie published Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York, unmasking several claims against the ex-Duke of York. In the nine months since the hardback came out, Andrew has been de-princed, de-duked, had his HRH shorn, arrested, evicted from his grand home and dumped in a corner of Norfolk and, last week, allegedly threatened by a balaclava-clad man.

But for a man who, limbo-like, has spent his life finding new lows comes nadir number 88 thanks to the tranche of sickening new allegations made about Andrew in the paperback edition of Entitled.

Somehow, one’s estimation of him can defy all known laws of psychics and fall even further than you might have thought possible.

Take this story from Lownie. It’s a shooting weekend at Sandringham and a whole lot of pheasants are meeting their maker. Pow pow. A longstanding friend of the royal family is there and during a break is enjoying a midmorning sausage roll with the then Duke of York and his labrador next to him. Suddenly, “the dog leapt and snatched the guest’s sausage roll from his hand, causing him to laugh.”

That’s when Queen Elizabeth’s son, according to the book, “kicked the dog in the head, leaving her whimpering on the ground”.

“That is the most disgusting thing that you have just done to your beautiful dog,” said the guest. “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Andrew shot back: “P*** off. It is none of your business and I will do precisely what I want to MY dogs.”

Just in case anyone from PETA is reading, the disgraced ex-royal currently has seven dogs.

If his alleged behaviour towards animals was vile, consider the claims about his treatment of British Airways staff.

It’s 2004 and Andrew is set to zip orfff overseas. On hand is John Longmuir who, Lownie writes, was “an armed police officer at Heathrow whose duties included escorting VIPs through airside and on to the aircraft.”

Andrew walks into the first class cabin where “A female British Airways crew member, who Andrew had never met, put out her hand to shake his. He took it, pulled her towards him, spun her round so she had her back to him”.

Longmuir said that Andrew “bent her forward so that his groin was clearly and firmly in contact with her backside. He then appeared to mimic a golf swing and was laughing.

“To me she looked awkward and bemused. I would judge the prince’s actions amount to a possible sexual assault but there was no way that the Met Police or British Airways would have gone down that road at that time.”

Let’s just keep adding to reasons why the ex Duke of York should have been put on a one-man no fly list, hmmm?

When handed a bottle of water he thought was too cold on a flight to New York in 2010, he – shock, horror – complained. He then, the stewardess told Lownie, “undid his flies, shoved the bottle of water down his trousers and said, ‘This will warm it up.’”

The same year, a banker named Brenton Battenfeld was “deputed to look after him” during a trip to Hong Kong. Battenfeld claims he was left “shocked” by the then duke’s “perversions and fascination with Japanese porn and rope bondage and need to seek out women from the red-light districts.”

Another charming bit of Andrew insight – his chat-up line on the dancefloor when he was much younger was, “What’s it like to have a royal c**k rub up against your leg?”

What a smoothie.

Then there is this story. Gordonstoun is the famed, austere Scottish boarding school attended by Prince Philip, then a tender Prince Charles who was remorselessly bullied, and then Andrew, who thrived in the world of muddy rugger scrums and taunting smaller boys. (The school is nicknamed ‘Colditz in kilts’.)

In the 90s, Princess Anne sent her children Peter and Zara Phillips there too, and “Andrew used to return to Gordonstoun, ostensibly to visit” them.

A former pupil has told Lownie that they saw the royal “chatting to the third form [year nine] girls in their dormitory. I did not witness anything untoward happening and I presume if it was him that he had permission to be there.”

Lownie writes, “One has to ask … why was he there?”

An excellent question indeed.

And one has to ask, why in god’s name did the royal family do nothing to try and rein in this stupid, gross man, the worst thing to happen to the royal family since Edward VIII started paling around with his good friend Adolf?

After his alleged attack on his dog, Prince Philip went up to the guest involved and said: “What you said to my son today was absolutely right and Her Majesty and I fully agree with what you said. Andrew needs a good scolding from time to time.”

YES. So the hell was he never given one?

In February Andrew was arrested on suspicion of misconduct in public office, the first member of the royal family to be arrested in modern history. (He has previously denied all wrongdoing.)

He has not commented on Lownie’s new claims.

Daniela Elser is an editor and commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with Australia’s leading media titles.