Veronika Slowikowska Wanted to Be a Nun

Live on Blind Date, it’s Veronika Slowikowska! Yes, that was obvious, but I did it anyway. The SNL star made time to go on a date with Willa on a Tuesday, which—as most SNL fans know—is a brutal all-nighter. In short: This was an honor. Willa only needed a few key facts to guess her date’s identity: They’ve met before, she’s been in Cosmo before, and she shares an office with Ben Marshall. Easy! Also, I’ve never seen a Blind Date guest have as much fun with the voice-altering microphone as Veronika did. Took me back to my 2000s T-Pain Mic days.

Alright, now for the reader’s questions. Let’s just say, Willa learned a lot. Did you know that having a “K” in your name makes you freakier in bed? Or that Veronika has been to nun camp? My personal favorite: she auditioned for SNL with a musical she created about Bo Burnham. Why don’t I come up with these things? Anyway, Willa also dug deep into what it’s like to be on a (well, the) live sketch comedy show right now. According to Veronika, it’s just as scary as you’d imagine, and only gets less scary by about one percent each Saturday. She’s also developed an excellent point of view on failure and not taking things personally, which we could all learn from. She revealed the type of entertainer that’s most toxic to date (hint: it’s not an actor), and revealed the status of her podcast, nevermind. No, I’m not going to tell you! Watch the episode, kindly.

Willa cracked open a vintage Cosmo and got Veronika’s takes on why men are like chips, the craziest thing one can do for love, and the role of a friend versus the role of a lover. Also, I think it’s important to note that Veronika was very kind to our waiter throughout this date and was extremely open about her shortcomings in her relationships. Huge green flags all around. They got right into the Love Audit, which produced tons of gems. Veronika says: It’s okay to move in with a partner after three months of dating (questionable, but whatever is best for you), we only have one soulmate, and Jack Black should play her in a biopic. Love it, love him! Before I let you watch the date for yourself, I have to let you know that we’re already halfway through this season of Blind Date. How did that happen? Anyway, see you next week!

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