The Royal Family has turned into EastEnders.
Just like in the soap opera, every little move by Prince Harry or Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor causes sensationalist chaos. Both have a magnetic attraction to foot-in-mouth disasters. Any decent exile would quit the family, or the country – or the soap opera – and go and live in peace and quiet.
But Harry and Andrew have – strikingly obvious differences aside – a similar combination of self-regard, wounded pride, rampant egomania and shortage of grey cells that mean they go on courting catastrophe.
At least Andrew doesn’t have a multi-million dollar relationship with the media. But Harry has a huge incentive to light the touchpaper and stand by while the fireworks go off. How he would have loved to announce a win in his catastrophic case against Associated Newspapers, in the forecourt of Buckingham Palace.
After his phone-hacking complaint was dismissed in full in the High Court, the King’s decision not to let him stay in the palace looks wiser than ever. Harry would only have weaponised his temporary palace accommodation, as his grievances against the press and the “Establishment” intensified. Hell hath no fury like a prince scorned.
More media coverage means more deals for the Sussexes from TV companies – and more free promotion for the pallets of Meghan’s As Ever raspberry jam, filling up American warehouses.
In EastEnders, at the end of big episodes, they have what the cast called “Duff Duffs” – drumbeats to signpost a cliffhanger. Well, Harry has just provided one hell of a Duff Duff, with his extraordinary will he/won’t he stay at Buckingham Palace.
Just like in EastEnders, the Royal Family have managed to squeeze several bombshells into one storyline. First, Prince Harry rejected an offer to stay at Buckingham Palace with his family. Then he changed his mind after the deadline. Now, the King has put his foot down over all this dithering and withdrawn the invitation. And Harry will revert to plans to stay elsewhere.
Harry’s reserves of self-destructive, chaotic self-importance are remarkable.
Despite being disallowed official royal security in a court ruling, he remains the spoilt little princeling who can’t accept the word “no”. Part of the endless to-and-froing over the Buckingham Palace stay was apparently his worry about the entrance and exit points to the palace, where his children might be spotted through a car window.
My God! The crazed spoiltness. Those are the entrances through which Harry has passed through countless times with no incident. As have the King, the late Elizabeth II and monarchs going all the way back to George III, who bought the palace in 1761 – not to forget hundreds of pop stars, American presidents and world leaders.
But Harry and Meghan are always special cases – in 250 years, it must be Their Egomaniacal Royal Highnesses who are most at threat. In fact, by kicking up such a fuss about his accommodation and security, Harry has made his presence that much more obvious to baddies than if he’d kept quiet and just accepted the original offer of a room in the most famous palace on the planet. The rest of us would have bitten the King’s hand off when he made such an offer, after years of the Sussexes hanging out the Royal Family’s dirty washing on TV.
Prince Harry was brought up in a Royal Household run by Elizabeth II. She, in turn, ran it on lines that went all the way back to Queen Victoria. Harry knows that punctuality – and letting a vast staff know your movements in advance – are the solid rails on which such grand institutions must run. But he disguises his selfishness and chaos beneath a Californian, last-minute, let-it-all-hang-out vibe.
And all for what? He is over just to celebrate a year before the Invictus Games in Birmingham in 2027 – not the Games themselves. Just imagine the fairground circus of self-promotion the Sussexes will whip up when the Games begin for real.
This time round, Harry and Meghan were also planning appearances in London and Birmingham to promote WellChild, a charity for seriously ill children, and Scotty’s Little Soldiers, a charity for bereaved military children.
All admirable charitable institutions – and the Invictus Games were Prince Harry’s great standout idea. But, as they say, charity begins at home.
Not that Prince Harry agrees – expect more EastEnders Duff Duffs some time very soon.
Harry Mount is author of How England Made the English (Penguin)
‘ The preceding article may include information circulated by third parties ’
‘ Some details of this article were extracted from the following source inews.co.uk ’
