Crystal Harris Says She Regrets Marrying Hugh Hefner, Forgot Her Own ‘Worth’ to ‘Fit into’ His Life

NEED TO KNOW

• Crystal Harris says she regrets marrying Hugh Hefner and abandoning her true self to survive their relationship

• Harris revealed Hefner kept compromising photos of women as potential blackmail and destroyed the ones she found

• She married James Ward in April and explores her Playboy experiences in her memoir Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself

Crystal Harris is sharing why she regrets marrying Hugh Hefner — and opening up about the toxicity of their relationship.

In a video shared to Instagram on Tuesday, July 14, the model, 40, explained why she regrets marrying the late Playboy founder, adding that she regrets the “version of myself” that she abandoned to “survive in that environment.”

Harris and Hefner tied the knot in 2012 and remained married until Hefner died in 2017 at age 91. Harris went on to marry James Ward in April.

“Do I regret marrying Hugh Hefner? Of course I do. And that’s not because of where it brought me. I’m grateful for the woman I became on the other side of it,” began Harris.

“But yes, I regret it. I regret being in my mid-20s and thinking that marrying one of the most famous men in the world meant that I had finally made it, that I finally mattered or had value,” she continued. ” I regret the years I spent making myself smaller so his world could feel bigger.”

Harris went on to say that she regrets having to learn to stay quiet when she should’ve spoken out.

“I regret the version of myself that I had to abandon just to survive in that environment,” she said. “I regret that it took me as long as it did to understand what was actually happening, like years.”

“And I think a lot of people expected me to never say that out loud, to stay in the story that was written for me, the grateful young wife, the lucky girl,” she added.

However, Harris said she is “done” living in that version of the story. She explained that she regrets the marriage, and that saying that out loud is “one of the most honest things” she’s ever done.

“Telling my truth for my younger self and for anyone who’s ever forgotten their worth trying to fit into someone else’s story. ❤️,” Harris added in her caption.

Harris, who authored the memoir Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself, married Ward earlier this year. The two got engaged in Hawaii on April 25, 2025, when Ward proposed on Harris’ deck overlooking the ocean.

Speaking with PEOPLE in 2024 about her memoir, Harris said that being in the Playboy world caused “trauma” for many women. “A lot of women that have been in Hef’s orbit, they’ve lost their sparkle,” she said. “It has caused people trauma.”

She went on to explore her own traumas and backed up claims made by previous Hefner girlfriends in her book. Harris confirmed the existence of compromising photos Hefner had taken as blackmail, which his ex, Holly Madison, had first made claims about. Harris said there were thousands of photos of other women who had been to the mansion.

Hefner always carried a disposable camera with him, Harris wrote in her book, and he took photos of the women everywhere. “We were disposable too. I watched as those cameras filled up with the most incriminating images,” she wrote. “Rolls and rolls of potential blackmail, if he ever wanted to use it that way.”

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She spoke out later about finding a stash of those photos while decluttering the mansion. “I opened just the top drawer of the desk and found all these naked photos for former Girls Next Door and friends that were carelessly thrown in there for anyone to just look at,” said Harris. “Hef was not showing those women much respect.”

Harris said she ripped up all the photos she found and threw them away. “I look through the scrapbooks and it makes me angry,” she added. “It’s just a trophy book of people [Hef] slept with interspersed with really relevant, culturally significant documents.”

Read the original article on People