SPM<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\u201cMy house is on Pretty Girl Avenue\u201d \u2013 <\/em>\u201cHouse Tour\u201d<\/p>\nI<\/span>\u2019m not sure if this is a *sharp* lyric so much as a delightfully stupid one, but either way I like it. With its groovy bass line and glittering synths, \u201cHouse Tour\u201d sounds a bit like Cyndi Lauper or True Blue-era Madonna, and the lyrics complement that bubble-gum pop sound. At the end of a successful date, Carpenter invites you to check out the first, second and third floor of her home, but don\u2019t expect any hanky panky, because \u201cnone of this is a metaphor\u201d \u2013 she\u2019s just really enthusiastic about interior design and chocolate chip cookies. There\u2019s a place for angst, yearning and introspection in pop music, but it\u2019s refreshing to hear someone not taking it too seriously and having such campy fun. <\/span>JG<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\u201cYeah, okay, okay, he’s on his big journey to find a little zest of life, a new sense of purpose, but why?\u201d \u2013 <\/em>\u201cMy Man on Willpower\u201d<\/p>\nIt can feel a bit pat to describe writing as \u2018relatable\u2019 (isn\u2019t all good art meant to strike a chord with its audience?), but \u2013 as a woman who has had her fair share of encounters with jarring men \u2013 it\u2019s difficult not to describe Carpenter\u2019s lyrics as such. This line from \u201cMy Man on Willpower\u201d is a particular standout for me, with its skewering of straight men\u2019s obsession with self-optimisation and self-discovery. In the song, Carpenter laments the fact that her partner is too busy focusing on himself and seeking \u201ca new sense of purpose\u201d to make love to her anymore. It\u2019s a situation many women will have found themselves in, scratching their heads while their boyfriends earnestly gabble about some incredibly basic philosophical idea. It\u2019s something of a running theme throughout Carpenter\u2019s work, too, with Short n\u2019 Sweet<\/em>\u2019s \u201cDumb & Poetic\u201d also taking aim at boring men obsessed with self-help books and taking shrooms. SS<\/span><\/em><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n
\u201cRemembering how to use your phone gets me oh so hot\u201d \u2013\u00a0<\/em>\u201cTears\u201d<\/p>\nCarpenter frequently pokes fun at man\u2019s inability to communicate throughout the album, from \u201cManchild\u201ds aforementioned phone charging fiasco, to referring to her partner\u2019s fake-deep epiphanies as a \u201cbig word for a real small mind\u201d in \u201cSugar Talking\u201d. This sentiment takes centre-stage on the disco-pop track \u201cTears\u201d, in which the bar is set so low that simply \u201ca little communication\u201d is Carpenter\u2019s \u201cideal foreplay\u201d. All of this, of course, is drenched in Sabrina\u2019s signature sarcasm \u2013 assembling an Ikea chair isn\u2019t <\/span>really <\/span><\/em>enough to get her aroused \u2013 but this is apparently lost on Carpenter\u2019s knuckle-headed lover. Indeed, writing this as a straight man who has definitely attempted to impress a girl by putting up a shelf, I consider this useful feedback. <\/span>SPM<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\u201cHe sure fucked me up and yes, I\u2019m talking \u2018bout your baby\u201d \u2013 <\/em>\u201cNobody\u2019s Son\u201d<\/p>\nThere are not one but two songs on the album where Carpenter complains about a disappointing romantic partner to their mum (on \u201cDon\u2019t Worry I\u2019ll Make You Worry\u201d, she sings \u201cand your mother even agrees that emotional lottery is all you\u2019ll ever get from me\u201d; on \u201cNobody\u2019s Son\u201d, she address the mother directly: \u201cthat boy is corrupt, could raise him to love me, maybe? He sure fucked me up and yes, I\u2019m talking \u2018bout your baby.\u201d) I\u2019m not sure if this is a trend exactly – the only other example I can think of is Lana\u2019s \u201cA&W\u201d and the who line \u201cyour mom called, I told her you\u2019re fucking up big time\u201d – but it should be. If we all started grassing on men to their mums whenever they treated us badly, maybe they would stop acting so foolish! <\/span>JG<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\u201cSorry, I did not see the vision, thank the Lord, the fine you has risen\u201d \u2013 \u201c<\/em>When Did You Get Hot?\u201d<\/p>\nThis excerpt from \u201cWhen Did You Get Hot\u201d has all the hallmarks of a classic Sabrina lyric. Here, she cements herself as a distinctly Gen Z voice with her finger on the pop culture pulse with a reference to a meme-y, internet-y slang phrase (\u201cI did not see the vision\u201d), while also nodding to her country influences by \u201cthank[ing] the Lord\u201d for her new lover\u2019s glow-up. An unapologetically horny song about lusting after someone you already know after seeing them in a new (and sexy) light, \u201cWhen Did You Get Hot\u201d is sure to go down as a quintessential Carpenter track. <\/span>SS<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\u201cDo you want th\u0435 house tour? I could take you to the first, second, third floor (We can take it to the\u2013) And I promise none of this is a metaphor, I just want you to come inside… But never enter through the back door\u201d \u2013 <\/em>\u201cHouse Tour\u201d<\/p>\nWhen Sabrina released \u201cBed Chem\u201d last year, one particular lyric had us clutching our pearls more so than any other. Despite the entire song being about sex, we were equally shocked and obsessed to hear her sing \u201cCome right on me, I mean camaraderie\u201d. Safe to say that for <\/span>Man\u2019s Best Friend<\/span><\/em>, we were better prepared for her blunt sexual requests. On \u201cHouse Tour\u201d, she really wants you to come inside\u2026 her house, of course. Despite her promise that this is merely a metaphor, she also suggests a trip to her first, second and third floors, though we think she\u2019s more likely talking about bases. Either that, or this is the Sabrina Carpenter version of Skepta\u2019s 2011 \u201cAll Over The House\u201d, in which he candidly raps: \u201cWe had sex \/ In the kitchen \/ In the shower \/ In my bed \/ On the couch \/ In other words we had sex all over the house.\u201d Whether Sabrina is alluding to possible locations within the house to get it on, or simply locations on her body, she\u2019s pretty clear about one thing: \u201cNever enter through the back door\u201d. IVD<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n\u201cCould be John or Larry, gosh, who’s to say? Or the one that rhymes with \u2018villain\u2019 if I’m feelin’ that way<\/em>\u201d \u2013 \u201cGoGo Juice\u201d <\/span><\/p>\nNow, I\u2019ll preface this with the fact that I don\u2019t think \u2018villain\u2019 really rhymes with Keoghan but, considering Carpenter\u2019s dating history, who else could she really mean? This lyric arrives on the chorus of yearning country ballad \u201cGo Go Juice\u201d, which casts Sabrina drowning her heartbreak in an attempt to muster up the courage to booty call an ex. It is widely known that Carpenter dated Irish actor Barry Keoghan between 2023 and 2024, breaking up amid rumours that Keoghan had cheated on her \u2013 allegations that were perhaps encouraged by Carpenter announcing that Irish boys were \u201chard work\u201d at the Dublin leg of her Short \u2018n\u2019 Sweet<\/em> tour in March of this year. So, all the clues point to Keoghan being the \u2018one who rhymes with villain\u2019 \u2013 and maybe it really does rhyme in a country accent after a half dozen tequila shots? <\/span>SPM<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\u201cI think this schedule could be very nice, call up the boys and crack a Miller Lite, watch the fight. Us girls are fun, but stressful, am I right? You\u2019ve got a right hand anyway\u201d \u2013 <\/em>\u201cNever Getting Laid\u201d<\/p>\nOnce the crushing heartbreak wears off, being newly single can be thrilling: the novelty of downloading Hinge, the loaded potential that every night out brings, the exhilaration of fucking someone new for the first time in years. That is, until you realise that your ex is out there sowing their wild oats just as much as you are. This feeling is what Carpenter encapsulates in \u201cNever Getting Laid\u2019\u201d an ode to a former lover for whom she wishes a \u201clifetime full of happiness\u201d but also \u201ca forever of never getting laid\u201d. In this verse, Carpenter encourages her ex to hang out with his boys and eschew female company (\u201cus girls are fun, but stressful, am I right?\u201d). Sabrina wouldn’t be Sabrina without an X-rated quip, and she delivers here by urging him to use his \u201cright hand\u201d if he gets horny. SS<\/em><\/p>\n\u201cAnd what a strange coincidence, your grandma died and died again. I would send condolences, if one of my phone calls would just go through\u201d \u2013\u00a0<\/em>\u201cSuch A Funny Way\u201d<\/p>\nOh dear, it seems Sabrina\u2019s man has forgotten how to use his phone again. Arriving on vinyl-exclusive bonus track \u201cSuch A Funny Way\u201d, it is in exactly these sorts of seductively savage lyrics that Carpenter shines. Presumably responding to a man who repeatedly uses the excuse of his grandma dying in order to avoid her, Sabrina uses her sharpest tool: sarcasm. Gallows humour plays a recurring theme in Carpenter\u2019s music, who announces \u201cIt\u2019s kind of a thing, someone has to die in every video\u201d before murdering a smitten suitor at the end of the \u201cTears\u201d music video released today. It is through lines like these that Carpenter places herself in a position of power, calling out men\u2019s futile advances and petty attempts at deception alike. <\/span>Man\u2019s Best Friend<\/span><\/em> is sort of like parent\u2019s evening for straight men. <\/span>SPM<\/span><\/em><\/p>\nMan\u2019s Best Friend is out now.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n