The Real Housewives of Miami<\/i><\/a> as it is for a kid in the Pok\u00e9mon professor\u2019s lab. Will you align yourself with Marysol Patton or Adriana de Moura? Two roads diverge on Miami Beach, and sorry, but you can\u2019t travel both.<\/p>\nThat\u2019s the lesson our newest Housewife, Stephanie Shojaee, has learned less than a season into her run, as the puppets and all their masters attempt to grab her right by the strings. With every passing season, the Real Housewives franchise becomes more and more a game of Survivor<\/i>, which might be why our Bravolebrities fare so well in The Traitors<\/i> mansion. No one knows strategy better than a high school mean girl, even those of retirement age.<\/p>\n
All those people who think these shows are nothing but fighting at classless events might be shocked to know that, while it\u2019s exactly that on the surface, it\u2019s truly a political structure more intricate than feeble minds could ever understand.<\/p>\n
Sure, the episode begins as an extended ad for Virgin cruise lines, but it\u2019s all just scene-setting for the confrontation to come. The ladies just had too much fun on Virgin\u2019s one-of-a-kind cruise, complete with themed workouts and top-of-the-line dining, to focus on any rudimentary drama! #Ad.<\/p>\n
Even Lisa and Larsa, who have spent the entire season at each other\u2019s throats, are compelled to squash the beef while sipping some delicious, refreshing green drinks and popping on their sunglasses in sync. Women who slay together stay together. That\u2019s the Virgin guarantee.<\/p>\n
The cruise works its powers on Alexia and Stephanie, too. The frenemies find peace at Virgin\u2019s premier sauna (I think that\u2019s what it is? There\u2019s some disco tile and a pipe on the wall, but like, it seems like a sauna\u2026). Even though Alexia stands by her choice to ditch the private plane and calls Stephanie bossy, she wants the girlboss to know that it\u2019s really Marysol who hates her. Alexia\u2019s just indifferent!<\/p>\n
Alexia\u2019s all about saying the truth, whether it\u2019s her truth or somebody else\u2019s. Sometimes, even the puppet master has a string or two to tug, and Alexia\u2019s had enough of fighting all Marysol\u2019s battles for her while the PR maven hides in the shadows (and confessional booth). So, Stephanie and Alexia cry together over the fact they both hate their sisters, agreeing to drop this petty beef.<\/p>\n
\u201cAww, I don\u2019t talk to my sisters either!\u201d Stephanie exclaims, giving Alexia a big ol\u2019 hug and rejoicing in the fact she\u2019s found another woman as abrasive as her.<\/p>\n
Now, Stephanie understands her real enemy is Marysol, who\u2019s livid the newbie had lunch with Adriana. My real enemy, on the other hand, is reality TV therapy scenes. Unless you\u2019re putting together a fake gravestone to mourn your marriage, turn off the camera and see that doctor on your own time.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m so sorry to Guerdy, who is an incredibly sweet woman, but that six-minute solo scene that withstood an entire commercial break was about enough therapy footage for a lifetime. At least Tamra Judge\u2019s tepid therapy scenes have Cheri Oteri doing costume work.<\/p>\n
Luckily, our mojito-less counterparts have truly stepped up in the second half of the season, as Adriana and Marysol attempt to commandeer the cast from their opposing ends. For Adriana, who just turned 35 for the 25th time, that\u2019s all about sitting on the sidelines to collect enough misfits to start an island. First, she picked up a wayward Lisa, before adopting an aimless Guerdy, and now, she looks to catch her biggest fish yet: Stephanie.<\/p>\n
The disturbance in Marysol and Alexia\u2019s once rock-solid alliance has given way to a major opening for Adriana, as Alexysol are too busy in-fighting to even notice. Marysol may hate Adriana, but she might just hate Todd Nepola more. The news that Alexia and Todd are still bumping uglies is an all hands on deck emergency for Marysol. She\u2019ll worry about Stephanie later.<\/p>\n
So, Adriana takes that opening to sit down with Stephanie, the newbie buttering her up with an offer to sing at the Shoma Bazaar Christmas party. Of course Stephanie would ask Adriana to perform! She loves supporting women, especially worldly culturistas like Gen Z starlet Adriana de Moura.<\/p>\n
Adriana has been down lately, having lost her best friend Julia to the dark side, and turning the old age of 23, so she\u2019s understandably in the dumps. But nothing cheers Adriana up like talking trash about Marysol. It\u2019s chicken soup for the soul.<\/p>\n
Marysol\u2019s upset that they hit it off? \u201cOh no! That\u2019s just terrible,\u201d Adriana thinks with a big smile on her face.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s very immature, actually,\u201d she says. \u201cThat\u2019s a very high schoooolllllll, you know, sorority type of situation.\u201d And Adriana would know, given she just graduated a few months ago.<\/p>\n
So the stage is set for the puppet master showdown\u2026 or so you\u2019d think. Really, next week will take us to a Marysol and Stephanie duel as Adriana finally takes on Julia. Miami<\/i> has an endless array of pawns, all eager and willing to fight the good fight. The professionals will save the true bloodbath for the reunion.<\/p>\n
Will either lady emerge victorious, or will they continue to fight for the rest of time? That\u2019s a question even the Bravo gods can\u2019t quite answer.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
\u2018 The preceding article may include information circulated by third parties \u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n \u2018 Some details of this article were extracted from the following source www.yahoo.com \u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Are you a Carrie or a Samantha? Did you choose Piplup or Turtwig? Do you prefer Bratz or Barbie? Life is full of choices that define the human experience in ways both big and small. That\u2019s as true for The Real Housewives of Miami as it is for a kid in the Pok\u00e9mon professor\u2019s lab. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2016016,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[25173],"tags":[369709,369710,369708,23662,355453,345938],"class_list":["post-2016015","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-artists","tag-adriana-de-moura","tag-alexia","tag-marysol-patton","tag-real-housewives","tag-stephanie","tag-stephanie-shojaee"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/The-\u2018Real-Housewives-of-Miami-Cold-War-Is-in-Full.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2016015","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2016015"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2016015\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2016016"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2016015"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2016015"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2016015"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}