Toni Collette<\/strong><\/a> is a character actor, which is just a fancy way of saying she\u2019s talented. It means she has chops and range and elasticity, and that she fully inhabits every role, creating something new and unique every time.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n Character actors aren\u2019t usually movie stars, but Collette is \u2014 she got an Oscar nom for her role in the 1999 megahit The Sixth Sense<\/a> \u2014 albeit a quiet one: She\u2019s been steadily working in the industry for more three decades, amassing a r\u00e9sum\u00e9 packed with critical darlings and fan favorites alike (often those are one and the same, like 1994\u2019s Muriel\u2019s Wedding<\/a> and 2006\u2019s Little Miss Sunshine<\/a>). And she\u2019s done it while raising kids and protecting her private life.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI listen to my heart and go with my gut,\u201d Collette, 52, says of the simple game plan she\u2019s followed. \u201cThat\u2019s it, because I have to live with myself.\u201d Ahead of her starring turn in Netflix\u2019s Wayward (out Sept. 25), a limited series about a last-resort boarding school for teens, she sat down with Us to talk about finding success and staying true to herself.<\/span><\/p>\n Zoe McConnell<\/span><\/p>\n Wayward is, in part, about a school for supposedly problematic teenagers. How much did you know about the troubled-teen industry<\/a> before taking the role?<\/b><\/p>\n I really did not know much at all. I was a bit of a novice, and then [creator and star] Mae [Martin]<\/strong> sent a plethora of information and documentaries and podcasts. It was a lot to take in. It\u2019s frightening and infuriating, [but] I think the problem with the world is that we don\u2019t encourage individuality and the freedom to be one\u2019s authentic self. Even talking about mental health in the past has been taboo or hidden away or a real problem, and it\u2019s just essential to be able to talk about these things as human beings.<\/span><\/p>\n Right, it\u2019s harm reduction.<\/b><\/p>\n [Teenagers] are in these incredible moments in their lives where their bodies are changing, their thoughts are changing. Their worlds are opening up, and then there\u2019s this big thumb that just comes and squishes them and demands they be a certain way. And I find the two young girls, the lead characters [Sydney Topliffe<\/strong> as Abbie and Alyvia Alyn Lind<\/strong> as Leila], so exciting. I wish I was their age to play one of those parts. They\u2019re so gutsy. They\u2019re so themselves, their friendship is so tight and loving and supportive, and then they are just put in this hot-water situation of judgment where it\u2019s meant to be helpful, and they\u2019re seeing through it. But also some of it feels good and it\u2019s confusing.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s interesting to me that you said you\u2019d love to be able to go back to how old they were to take on a role like that.<\/b><\/p>\n I don\u2019t want to be any age again. I am so happy [with] where I am right now and what I\u2019ve gone through. Everyone is on an individual path. And I really do believe that what is meant for you will not pass you by \u2014 the good, the bad and the ugly. You can look at it as an opportunity to grow, or you can become a victim and blame other people and look outside yourself. But I think to be able to look inward\u2026 Part of this story is about society being structured in a way that we are kind of brainwashed to have to look beyond ourselves for what\u2019s real, when actually it is in all of us. Not until we each go into ourselves can we even <\/span>contribute to society in a real way.<\/span><\/p>\n Getting older may be the only way to truly learn that lesson.<\/b><\/p>\n All the important things in life you just have to go through. Somebody can lecture you. You can read a million books. You can try to learn, try to prepare, try to research, until you go through things like grief, love, childbirth. You know, these are the big things that are unseen, that have to be felt.<\/span><\/p>\n Zoe McConnell<\/span><\/p>\n One thing about Wayward that is really striking is the representation of a full <\/b>spectrum of gender and sexuality identities. How much of that was part of <\/b>what drew you to the material?<\/b><\/p>\n There\u2019s such a diverse range of people in this story, and they all felt whole to me. Nobody made a big deal of anybody\u2019s differences, and that seems really important in this day and age and on screen. The love story between [Martin\u2019s character] Alex and [onscreen wife] Laura [Sarah Gadon<\/strong>] is beautiful and complicated, and it\u2019s never sensationalized or questioned. [Alex is a trans man; Laura is a cis woman.] <\/span>I\u2019m aware that, in some circles and to some people with limited thinking, Mae\u2019s character might be considered to be unusual or even abnormal. So I love that it\u2019s this very character who is probably the most grounded, normal person in the whole show. Alex is the portal through which the audience gets to experience all the craziness of Tall Pines. Nobody\u2019s sexuality or identity is ever really a big deal. The characters are much more interesting than that.<\/span><\/p>\n Which you mentioned is particularly crucial and of the moment\u2026<\/b><\/p>\n Yeah, there are no words anymore. Hopefully, people will sit in their homes and watch this and feel like there\u2019s a sense of acceptance in terms of the ability for someone to be free. Since the world is becoming less and less [connected], there\u2019s so much that\u2019s on screen, people meet through apps. There\u2019s not so much one-on-one, I think. Others are a mirror to you, and art works in the same way. So in watching some TV show that actually has something potent and real to say, hopefully people will be able to feel a connection to a lot of what happens to <\/span>these characters.<\/span><\/p>\n We talked about teens \u2014 you\u2019ve got two: <\/b>Sage<\/strong>, 17, and Arlo, 14, whom you share with your ex-husband, Dave Galafassi. In the past, you\u2019ve said you want them to listen to themselves and not feel bullied by society into making decisions. How does that come into play in the way you parent and live your life? What is your hope for your kids in that way?<\/b><\/p>\n I think society, instead of creating moments of empowerment for people, is intentionally disempowering. It\u2019s becoming more and more obvious, and it\u2019s very strange. I don\u2019t know \u2014 this has just always been something I\u2019ve known in myself and something I\u2019ve always lived by. I grew up in a very working-class family. I didn\u2019t have, like, big, amazing experiences. It\u2019s just me. It\u2019s how I came in, and it\u2019s my belief that everyone is equal and that we have the right \u2014 it\u2019s our birthright \u2014 to have certain freedoms and exist as our authentic selves. And it\u2019s becoming more and more difficult for people to do that. And it won\u2019t serve any purpose other than for the dictators and the fascists to control society. The one hope for me out of everything that\u2019s happening at the moment is that we\u2019ve all been taught to look outside ourselves, [but] now the only place left to look is in. And when people really do that, it will create an uprising. There\u2019s no way that it won\u2019t. I really do <\/span>believe things happen for a reason. Like, why the f**k is all of this happening right <\/span>now? It\u2019s very, very hard to justify in my mind \u2014 I know I\u2019m not alone in this. And I can only come up with the answer that certain people exist to trigger the <\/span>potential in people to instigate real change en masse. And from what I\u2019m <\/span>seeing, I think it is happening for those who are brave enough.<\/span><\/p>\n That is a very hopeful and optimistic way of looking at things.<\/b><\/p>\n I am optimistic, and I think we have to remain optimistic; otherwise, we\u2019re rolling over and becoming what they want us to become. I just try to remain a beacon of love and light, not just for my kids but for the world at large, in my own tiny way, because succumbing to what they want won\u2019t help. I still believe that we have the freedom to choose who we are.<\/span><\/p>\n Have you passed that along to your kids?<\/b><\/p>\n I\u2019ve always spoken to my kids as equals. I think a lot of people are condescending toward kids, and they kind of drip-feed them limited information. There is so much information out there now, and I actually don\u2019t know what [my son and <\/span>daughter] see because they have phones, so I just make sure that the world where <\/span>we exist is supportive and loving and positive. I\u2019m very active in creating positivity within myself. And one little bit of wisdom that I\u2019m trying to impart, and I can\u2019t be didactic about it, but it\u2019s just that you do have a choice: People forget that they have a choice of how they can live. And I hope we always have that. I mean, look at people who are oppressed and have such limitations placed upon them. But there are incredible instances of people who just are very aware that nobody can get inside their mind and they decide how they will respond to what happens around them. [They] create a sense of balance and buoyancy in order to continue without life being a complete whitewash.<\/span><\/p>\n That\u2019s a great reminder for a lot of us.<\/b><\/p>\n I think it\u2019s important to remember that there is goodness in the world. There is.\u00a0 There are moments of imbalance, but there is definite goodness. And invest in what you believe in.<\/span><\/p>\n Do your kids want to follow in your professional footsteps?<\/b><\/p>\n My daughter has some interest, and from what I\u2019ve seen, she\u2019s actually pretty good; she\u2019s got a really incredible singing voice. She\u2019s got her last year of high school, and I just watch her every day, someone asks her, \u201cDo you know what <\/span>you\u2019re going to do?\u201d It\u2019s fine. She\u2019s 17. She doesn\u2019t have to know what she wants to do. I think in the past, there\u2019s been this very traditional trajectory of allocating <\/span>roles to people in society with certain jobs, and they go from school to university into the job, work until they retire, and then they die. And I just don\u2019t think that appeals to anybody anymore. There are so many different paths, different ways to learn. I know myself \u2014 I left school in year 11 to act, and it\u2019s so bizarre I did that. I was very good at school. I had no idea\u2026 My career is a miracle. I pinch myself still. I don\u2019t know whether that\u2019s going to be the model that people kind of hitch their wagons to much longer. You don\u2019t know who you are. Actually, some do. Depends on the individual, same as adults.<\/span><\/p>\n What\u2019s on your bucket list at this point? Is there a role or something else out there that you\u2019re like, this is something I\u2019m dying to do that I haven\u2019t done.<\/b><\/p>\n I think it\u2019s probably more about directing. I still will, obviously, always act. I love it. I wish I didn\u2019t love it so much, because it\u2019s exhausting. You use your entire self, and I don\u2019t know how to do it any other way, but I still get off on it. I still thrive on it. It makes me grow. Every character, I learn something about myself. It\u2019s always been that way, and I\u2019m so grateful for it \u2014 I really mean that. But I\u2019ve been doing a little bit of writing, and I\u2019m producing a bit more, and I want to direct, and I think there are ways to grow within my own industry. I\u2019ve always written, and I\u2019m really starting to want to do that more. It\u2019s just something I can do on my own.<\/span><\/p>\n And my kids are still in school. I need to be able to stay at home and still feel creatively satisfied. So I\u2019m kind of leaning into that a little bit more. But I also feel like life gives you what you need, so I listen to what comes my way and, yeah, I\u2019m happy to continue following the hints and the little magical synchronicities that are revealed to me to show me the way, like Hansel and Gretel.<\/span><\/p>\n Hansel and Gretel but with a happier ending.<\/b><\/p>\n Yeah, much happier ending.<\/span><\/p>\n Well, if you\u2019re taking suggestions or career advice, Us Weekly would like to see you on The White Lotus.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n I want to see me on White Lotus! I find Mike White<\/strong><\/a> to be endlessly interesting. Films like Chuck & Buck from years ago, he was already blowing my mind. Like, he just has his own perspective. I really appreciate people who have the guts to be themselves and do what they want. He does that.<\/span><\/p>\n Can you tell Us anything about your upcoming role in <\/b>Kate Winslet<\/strong>\u2019s directorial debut, the family drama Goodbye, June? We know she stars in it, too, with Helen Mirren, and it\u2019s out in December.<\/b><\/p>\n I actually can\u2019t talk about it \u2014 I\u2019m too jet-lagged, and it was too amazing, I will just cry. [Beginning to cry] It was such a profound experience. I feel like I have a second family. Kate Winslet<\/strong><\/a> will be my sister for life. She was an incredible director, but the story is so beautiful, and it was such a gorgeously woven time \u2014 it was kind of magical. It really was. And it just appreciates family and life and all the goodness in life. It really highlights \u2014 through grief, which is essential, which people don\u2019t want to look at, especially in the West \u2014 how lucky we are to be alive, truly.<\/span><\/p>\n I can\u2019t wait to see it, even though I know it\u2019ll tear my heart out.<\/b><\/p>\n![\"Toni](\"https:\/\/www.usmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/Toni-Collette-2539-Us-Weekly-Cover-No-Chip.jpg?w=1000&quality=40&strip=all\")
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