{"id":2032691,"date":"2025-09-18T21:06:02","date_gmt":"2025-09-18T21:06:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/?p=2032691"},"modified":"2025-09-18T21:06:02","modified_gmt":"2025-09-18T21:06:02","slug":"i-cant-figure-out-the-love-piece-exclusive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/i-cant-figure-out-the-love-piece-exclusive\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8216;I Can\u2019t Figure Out the Love Piece\u2019 (Exclusive)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><\/p>\n<div data-article-body=\"true\">\n<h3 class=\"mb-4 text-lg font-bold\">NEED TO KNOW<\/h3>\n<ul class=\"mb-4\">\n<li class=\"ml-4 list-disc\">\n<div class=\"\">\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">29-year-old Alissa DeRogatis decided to share a candid TikTok clip of why she feared she\u2019d never find love<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li class=\"ml-4 list-disc\">\n<div class=\"\">\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">DeRogatis tells PEOPLE she\u2019s long struggled with dating pressures and the stigma of singlehood<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<li class=\"ml-4 list-disc\">\n<div class=\"\">\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Now, she\u2019s hoping her story will help others feel less alone in their journey<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">At 29 years old, Alissa DeRogatis did something many people only imagine but rarely attempt \u2014 she turned on her camera after a night out and confessed the kind of heartbreak that usually stays hidden.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Her viral <a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@alissaderogatis\/video\/7544364826194201887\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" data-ylk=\"slk:TikTok;elm:context_link;itc:0;sec:content-canvas\" class=\"link \">TikTok<\/a>, filmed after she cried herself to sleep, became an unfiltered portrait of loneliness and longing that resonated with millions.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">\u201cLast night I came home from the bar and cried myself to sleep because I feel like no one is ever going to fall in love with me,\u201d DeRogatis tells PEOPLE. For her, the decision to share wasn\u2019t about performance but about connection, a willingness to show the raw edges of her life instead of the polished perfection so common online.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">She explains that posting came naturally, even in a vulnerable moment. \u201cI found that being vulnerable and honest online has done nothing but open up my community to other people that are going through the same struggles as me,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">That openness, however, is tied to years of questioning her role in relationships. \u201cI feel like I\u2019m a really good daughter, sister, friend, coworker, and I know that I\u2019m gonna be a great girlfriend, great wife, great mom one day, but I feel like it\u2019s definitely made me question how I show up in relationships in terms of romantically,\u201d DeRogatis shares.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">She admits that oversharing online doesn\u2019t always translate to intimacy offline. \u201cLike, am I giving too much or am I not giving enough and trying to find that middle ground?\u201d she wonders aloud.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"relative mb-4\">\n<div class=\"relative\"><button aria-label=\"View larger image\" class=\"group absolute bottom-3 right-3 size-10 md:size-[50px] lg:inset-0 lg:size-full lg:bg-transparent\" data-ylk=\"elm:expand;itc:1;sec:image-lightbox;slk:lightbox-open;\"><span class=\"absolute bottom-0 right-0 rounded-full bg-white p-3 opacity-100 shadow-elevation-3 transition-opacity duration-300 group-hover:block group-hover:opacity-100 md:p-[17px] lg:bottom-6 lg:right-6 lg:bg-white\/90 lg:p-5 lg:opacity-0 lg:shadow-none\"><svg viewbox=\"0 0 22 22\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"size-4 lg:size-6\" width=\"22\" height=\"22\"><path d=\"M12.372.92c0-.506.41-.916.915-.916L21 0l-.004 7.712a.917.917 0 0 1-1.832 0V3.183l-6.827 6.828-1.349-1.348 6.828-6.828h-4.529a.915.915 0 0 1-.915-.915M1.835 17.816l6.828-6.828 1.349 1.349-6.829 6.827h4.529a.915.915 0 0 1 0 1.831L0 21l.004-7.713a.916.916 0 0 1 1.831 0z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/button><dialog aria-label=\"Modal Dialog\" aria-modal=\"true\" class=\"fixed inset-0 z-4 size-full max-h-none max-w-none bg-white hidden\"\/><\/div><figcaption class=\"relative text-sm mt-1 pr-2.5\">\n<div style=\"max-height:none;overflow:visible\">\n<p>Alissa DeRogatis<\/p>\n<p> Alissa DeRogatis<\/p><\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Her 20s, she says, have been marked by complicated love stories that rarely unfolded cleanly. \u201cI got my start on TikTok from sharing that I was dating someone in college. We broke up, it turned into this like situationship, like neither one of us could let go for years, like longer than I care to admit,\u201d she shares.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">That experience led her to write a book titled <a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Call-What-You-Want-Novel\/dp\/146422336X\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" data-ylk=\"slk:Call It What You Want;elm:context_link;itc:0;sec:content-canvas\" class=\"link \"><em>Call It What You Want<\/em><\/a>, inspired by the relationship, but dating after publishing brought unexpected challenges. \u201cOnce I started posting about my dating life online and being single, I felt like that has hindered my dating life a lot,\u201d she explains.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Beyond the logistical complications, she has felt the weight of cultural expectations. \u201cBecause it\u2019s shameful, it\u2019s embarrassing,\u201d DeRogatis says of why many avoid talking openly about loneliness. \u201cLike even Taylor Swift getting engaged at 35, I don\u2019t feel like that\u2019s old in the grand scheme of anything, but for Taylor Swift specifically, that feels really young.\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Her viral video tapped into those unspoken pressures that women especially carry. \u201cI think there\u2019s just a lot of shame and embarrassment around not like fitting that norm, or if you want it, not having it yet,\u201d she explains.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Even with an otherwise fulfilling life, she admits that love remains the missing piece. \u201cLike I said in that video, I think my life is so amazing. The one part I can\u2019t figure out is the love piece,\u201d DeRogatis says.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">She is candid about the inner dialogue that lingers. \u201cIt\u2019s not like, oh, you\u2019re not good enough at your job, so you can\u2019t get promoted. It\u2019s like, oh, there\u2019s something wrong with you, so that\u2019s why no one loves you yet,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">The thought pattern is familiar to countless women scrolling TikTok late at night, which is why her video sparked so many responses. \u201cComparison is the thief of joy,\u201d DeRogatis reflects, emphasizing that learning not to measure herself against others took years.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">She recalls how isolating it felt when all her friends were in relationships. \u201cI was like, wow, I\u2019m the only one, I\u2019m the only one with no plus one to a wedding, or I can\u2019t get invited on a couple\u2019s trip because I\u2019m not a couple,\u201d she shares.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Still, she reframed the loneliness into something empowering. \u201cAm I still single? Yeah. But I\u2019m more confident. I have a career path that I love. Like I spend every single day enjoying myself so&#8230; it\u2019s not like I\u2019m waiting for that right person,\u201d she explains.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"relative mb-4\">\n<div class=\"relative\"><img alt=\"Alissa DeRogatis Alissa DeRogatis with her book Call It What You Want\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"320\" height=\"480\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"1\" class=\"rounded-lg\" style=\"color:transparent\" src=\"https:\/\/s.yimg.com\/ny\/api\/res\/1.2\/Qp4sjICDisKspbC2RgVxYw--\/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MDtoPTk2MDtjZj13ZWJw\/https:\/\/media.zenfs.com\/en\/people_218\/5a0bc4329b6e71d6b9148b8a4053c7f3\"\/><\/div><figcaption class=\"relative text-sm mt-1 pr-2.5\">\n<div style=\"max-height:none;overflow:visible\">\n<p>Alissa DeRogatis<\/p>\n<p> Alissa DeRogatis with her book Call It What You Want<\/p><\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">For DeRogatis, singlehood isn\u2019t a void but an opportunity. \u201cAnother tactic I would say is like, feel good about being the only single one,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">That perspective has allowed her to embrace the unexpected joys of independence. \u201cTwo of my friends and I, on a random Sunday after like three mimosas, were like, &#8216;Let\u2019s go to Barcelona,&#8217; [and we] booked a flight,\u201d she recalls.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">The viral post brought an avalanche of reactions, from celebrity comments to heartfelt confessions. \u201c<a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/people.com\/trisha-paytas-tubes-removed-after-third-traumatic-birth-11777821\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" data-ylk=\"slk:Trisha Paytas;elm:context_link;itc:0;sec:content-canvas\" class=\"link \">Trisha Paytas<\/a> commented on it, which I thought was insane,\u201d DeRogatis shares.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">She was struck not only by the high-profile responses but by the sheer number of people who related. \u201cI think it got almost 2000 comments, which is a lot, and for me at least, and I was really floored with the amount of people who felt the same way as me because you don\u2019t see that discourse online or that conversation,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Her notifications were filled with encouragement, unsolicited advice and even flirtatious direct messages. \u201cI did get a ton of DMs from people trying to like shoot their shot and date me, which I thought was really funny,\u201d she adds.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">The comments revealed how widespread these feelings are across ages and genders. \u201cI was really interested to see how many young 20s people were in my comments, but also people saying, I\u2019m 39, it didn\u2019t get better for me, or, I\u2019m in my 40s,\u201d DeRogatis says.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"relative mb-4\">\n<div class=\"relative\"><img alt=\"Alissa DeRogatis Alissa DeRogatis in a book store\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"1\" class=\"rounded-lg\" style=\"color:transparent\" src=\"https:\/\/s.yimg.com\/ny\/api\/res\/1.2\/ZE4SUVCCLA9DXjZc1HJFig--\/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTY0MTtjZj13ZWJw\/https:\/\/media.zenfs.com\/en\/people_218\/c3ef965c45fd528a164d0150895b3395\"\/><button aria-label=\"View larger image\" class=\"group absolute bottom-3 right-3 size-10 md:size-[50px] lg:inset-0 lg:size-full lg:bg-transparent\" data-ylk=\"elm:expand;itc:1;sec:image-lightbox;slk:lightbox-open;\"><span class=\"absolute bottom-0 right-0 rounded-full bg-white p-3 opacity-100 shadow-elevation-3 transition-opacity duration-300 group-hover:block group-hover:opacity-100 md:p-[17px] lg:bottom-6 lg:right-6 lg:bg-white\/90 lg:p-5 lg:opacity-0 lg:shadow-none\"><svg viewbox=\"0 0 22 22\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"size-4 lg:size-6\" width=\"22\" height=\"22\"><path d=\"M12.372.92c0-.506.41-.916.915-.916L21 0l-.004 7.712a.917.917 0 0 1-1.832 0V3.183l-6.827 6.828-1.349-1.348 6.828-6.828h-4.529a.915.915 0 0 1-.915-.915M1.835 17.816l6.828-6.828 1.349 1.349-6.829 6.827h4.529a.915.915 0 0 1 0 1.831L0 21l.004-7.713a.916.916 0 0 1 1.831 0z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/button><dialog aria-label=\"Modal Dialog\" aria-modal=\"true\" class=\"fixed inset-0 z-4 size-full max-h-none max-w-none bg-white hidden\"\/><\/div><figcaption class=\"relative text-sm mt-1 pr-2.5\">\n<div style=\"max-height:none;overflow:visible\">\n<p>Alissa DeRogatis<\/p>\n<p> Alissa DeRogatis in a book store<\/p><\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">While some reactions reinforced old stereotypes, others provided comfort and community. \u201cIt hit home for a lot of people, and that\u2019s why I like to create content and be vulnerable online,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">For DeRogatis, vulnerability is more than a personal outlet \u2014 it\u2019s a mission. \u201cI think it is those hard conversations that people are just afraid to have that need to be had for visibility and to make people feel less alone,\u201d she explains.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">She sees her role as offering younger women an alternative script. \u201cI think this opens up the idea that that\u2019s not the only answer because just because I\u2019m single at 29 and I want a boyfriend or a husband doesn\u2019t mean everyone does,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Her hope is that sharing honestly eases the shame so many carry in silence. \u201cThose are the kind of conversations I wanna have, like as a creator, as a person to my friends, my family, people that don\u2019t know me online,\u201d she notes.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Despite the challenges of public vulnerability, she remains committed to authenticity. \u201cI\u2019ve struggled with how to bring people through my dating life online because like I wanna share those things and be honest, but at the same time, like I wanna be respectful to people that I\u2019m going on dates with,\u201d she admits.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"relative mb-4\">\n<div class=\"relative\"><img alt=\"Alissa DeRogatis Alissa DeRogatis\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"1\" class=\"rounded-lg\" style=\"color:transparent\" src=\"https:\/\/s.yimg.com\/ny\/api\/res\/1.2\/Yn2f51.M1MA6ksFrbfb2bA--\/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTY0MTtjZj13ZWJw\/https:\/\/media.zenfs.com\/en\/people_218\/c159202f6a9874bcaf455a71b45bf028\"\/><button aria-label=\"View larger image\" class=\"group absolute bottom-3 right-3 size-10 md:size-[50px] lg:inset-0 lg:size-full lg:bg-transparent\" data-ylk=\"elm:expand;itc:1;sec:image-lightbox;slk:lightbox-open;\"><span class=\"absolute bottom-0 right-0 rounded-full bg-white p-3 opacity-100 shadow-elevation-3 transition-opacity duration-300 group-hover:block group-hover:opacity-100 md:p-[17px] lg:bottom-6 lg:right-6 lg:bg-white\/90 lg:p-5 lg:opacity-0 lg:shadow-none\"><svg viewbox=\"0 0 22 22\" aria-hidden=\"true\" class=\"size-4 lg:size-6\" width=\"22\" height=\"22\"><path d=\"M12.372.92c0-.506.41-.916.915-.916L21 0l-.004 7.712a.917.917 0 0 1-1.832 0V3.183l-6.827 6.828-1.349-1.348 6.828-6.828h-4.529a.915.915 0 0 1-.915-.915M1.835 17.816l6.828-6.828 1.349 1.349-6.829 6.827h4.529a.915.915 0 0 1 0 1.831L0 21l.004-7.713a.916.916 0 0 1 1.831 0z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/button><dialog aria-label=\"Modal Dialog\" aria-modal=\"true\" class=\"fixed inset-0 z-4 size-full max-h-none max-w-none bg-white hidden\"\/><\/div><figcaption class=\"relative text-sm mt-1 pr-2.5\">\n<div style=\"max-height:none;overflow:visible\">\n<p>Alissa DeRogatis<\/p>\n<p> Alissa DeRogatis<\/p><\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Ultimately, she is determined not to compromise her standards. \u201cI think it\u2019s important not to settle because I do think it\u2019s better to wait and be with the right person than to settle and be with the wrong one because you can\u2019t get that time back,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Through tears and TikToks, DeRogatis has found purpose in the act of sharing what others might hide. \u201cI hope it helps them feel less alone,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\"><strong>Never miss a story \u2014 sign up for <a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/people.com\/people-news-daily-newsletter-sign-up-8692701\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" data-ylk=\"slk:PEOPLE's free daily newsletter;elm:context_link;itc:0;sec:content-canvas\" class=\"link \">PEOPLE&#8217;s free daily newsletter<\/a> to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer\u200b\u200b, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">She envisions her story as a roadmap through the uncertainty. \u201cJust continuing to be honest and open and hope that one day my story ends with like, meeting the right person and then being able to be like, I went through all of these things but I didn\u2019t settle and I wound up with the person that I didn\u2019t think existed,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Even in the messiest moments, she insists on showing up fully, for herself and for her followers. \u201cWhen you\u2019re at your low and you feel really low, seeing other people at that same space I think helps,\u201d she explains.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">For now, she embraces the not knowing. \u201cI just want someone to add value, not necessarily like take my life from bad to good, if that makes sense,\u201d DeRogatis says.<\/p>\n<p class=\"mb-4 text-lg md:leading-8 break-words\">Read the original article on <a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/people.com\/woman-fears-shell-never-find-love-at-29-in-viral-tiktok-exclusive-11809322\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" data-ylk=\"slk:People;elm:context_link;itc:0;sec:content-canvas\" class=\"link \">People<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/www.tiktok.com\/embed.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p><em> \u2018 The preceding article may include information circulated by third parties \u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em> \u2018 Some details of this article were extracted from the following source ca.style.yahoo.com \u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>NEED TO KNOW 29-year-old Alissa DeRogatis decided to share a candid TikTok clip of why she feared she\u2019d never find love DeRogatis tells PEOPLE she\u2019s long struggled with dating pressures and the stigma of singlehood Now, she\u2019s hoping her story will help others feel less alone in their journey At 29 years old, Alissa DeRogatis [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2032692,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[25177],"tags":[375026],"class_list":["post-2032691","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-celebrities","tag-derogatis"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/I-Cant-Figure-Out-the-Love-Piece-Exclusive.jpeg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2032691","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2032691"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2032691\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2032692"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2032691"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2032691"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2032691"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}