The world was shocked when Hoda Kotb<\/strong> announced in January 2022 that she and fianc\u00e9 Joel Schiffman<\/strong> had gone their separate ways after almost a decade together. In her new book, Jump and Find Joy: Embracing Change in Every Season of Life<\/em>, she recalled the moment she knew that their relationship was over.<\/p>\n During a retreat with the Hoffman Institute, Kotb, 61, said she felt like \u201ceverything had shifted.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cOur \u2018us\u2019 felt different,\u201d the former Today<\/em> host<\/a>\u00a0wrote in her book, and she later expanded on what she meant during an interview with Today.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u201cI think we\u2019ve always been connected and will always be connected for many reasons,\u201d Kotb explained. \u201cWe will co-parent in a beautiful way, but I also think our \u2018us\u2019 is more of a, like, we\u2019re dear friends now. And that\u2019s beautiful, and it\u2019s enjoyable and it feels right. We were laughing the other day just in hysterics, and I feel like this is the right relationship for us to have.\u201d<\/p>\n She also added that she felt like she was \u201ca phony in her relationships.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI think sometimes you know that a relationship is \u2014 I would say good \u2014 but you think to yourself it\u2019s not deepening,\u201d the mom of two continued. \u201cSo, you continue along on the relationship, and I think the truth of the matter is sometimes you have to say to yourself, like, I feel like I\u2019m an optimist. And so, when you\u2019re an optimist, you want to make things work, and sometimes, things don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n Kotb and Schiffman, 67, are still close and she said that she \u201cloved Joel then and she loves Joel now,\u201d but she had to \u201cremind herself that it was a different kind of love.\u201d<\/p>\n![\"Hoda](\"https:\/\/staging.starmagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/hoda-kotb-joel-schiffman-02-scaled.jpg\")