Nicole Kidman<\/a> may have officially filed for divorce from Keith Urban<\/a> on Sept. 30, but a recently published interview reveals the split may have been brewing for a while.<\/p>\n During a conversation with Vogue<\/em><\/a> published on Wednesday but held “a few weeks” before news broke of the couple’s separation, Kidman gave an unusually mournful response when asked how she felt at the current point in her life, in her ’50s.<\/p>\n Kidman, 58, said: “How many times do you have to be taught that you think you know where your life is going and then it isn’t going in that direction?”<\/p>\n Karwai Tang\/WireImage<\/p>\n Nicole Kidman on May 18, 2025<\/p><\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n The Oscar winner shared that she “leans on a close circle of girlfriends” while in Nashville for support, including former\u00a0Big Little Lies<\/em><\/a>\u00a0costar Reese Witherspoon<\/a>, a senior oncologist at Vanderbilt Hospital, and another friend who runs a hospital.<\/p>\n “Ride-or-die friendships. Oh, yeah,” she quipped, for after she uses the “highs and lows of life, the losses and the pain” for her work. “That’s the beauty of what I do. There’s a place for some of this to explode, implode, process, discover.”<\/p>\n Get your daily dose of entertainment news, celebrity updates, and what to watch with\u00a0our\u00a0EW Dispatch newsletter<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n Neither Kidman nor Urban, 57, have spoken out about their decision to end their relationship after 19 years of marriage. A source told PEOPLE<\/a> that Kidman “didn’t want this,” adding that the\u00a0Moulin Rouge<\/em>\u00a0star “has been fighting to save the marriage.”<\/p>\n The pair tied the knot in June 2006 after meeting the year prior. During a 2017 appearance on\u00a0The Ellen DeGeneres Show<\/em>, the\u00a0To Die For<\/em>\u00a0actress\u00a0recalled<\/a>\u00a0being immediately smitten with the singer, but revealed that Urban took a little while to contact her after they first crossed paths.<\/p>\n “I had such a crush on him, and he wasn’t interested in me. It’s true!” Kidman said on the show. “He didn’t call me for four months.”<\/p>\n They went on to welcome two daughters, Sunday Rose, 17, and Faith Margaret, 14.<\/p>\n Publicly, all seemed well between the couple; Kidman\u00a0celebrated<\/a>\u00a0their 19th wedding anniversary on June 25 with an Instagram post showing the actress resting her head on her husband’s shoulders in a dressing room. “Happy Anniversary Baby,” she captioned the post.<\/p>\n The couple spent the summer pursuing their own creative endeavors, PEOPLE reported, as Kidman was filming\u00a0Practical Magic 2<\/em>\u00a0in London while Urban was on his High and Alive World Tour in support of his 2024 album,\u00a0High<\/em>.<\/p>\n