<\/p>\n
Saturday Night Live<\/a><\/em>\u2018s cold open for October 11 featured host Amy Poehler<\/a> as she channeled U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi<\/a> and Tina Fey<\/a> as she transformed into U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem<\/a>.<\/p>\n In the skit, Poehler (as Bondi) appeared before the Senate Judiciary Committee for a follow-up session after \u201csenators determined that she hadn\u2019t actually answered any of their questions.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cFurious to be here,\u201d Poehler\u2019s sassy Bondi said. \u201cBefore I don\u2019t answer, I\u2019d like to insult you personally,\u201d she added, also promising \u201cmany of the roast-style burns\u201d she had prepared for the testimony.<\/p>\n After Senator Sheldon Whitehouse asked Bondi about Donald Trump<\/a>\u2018s alleged involvement with Jeffrey Epstein<\/a>, she rolled her eyes and declared, \u201cSir, I am not even going to dignify that question with a lie.\u201d<\/p>\n Later, Bondi quipped, \u201cYeah, I recognize Dick Durbin. His name sounds like something Diddy<\/a> got arrested for. That\u2019s from my burn book.\u201d She added, \u201cAnd while we\u2019re at it, Amy Klobuchar<\/a>, your ass out here sounding like a Pokemon. I choose you, Klobuchar!\u201d<\/p>\n When Illinois Senator Durbin asked why ICE troops were being sent to his state, Bondi replied, \u201cYou\u2019ll have to ask Homeland Security Director Kristi Noem.\u201d Durbin pointed out, \u201cShe isn\u2019t here,\u201d as Fey (as Noem) walked into the frame toting a semi-automatic rifle and wearing a blue pantsuit with a ball cap.<\/p>\n \u201cHold my gun,\u201d Noem demanded as she tossed it off-frame.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m the rarest type of person in Washington, D.C.: a brunette that Donald Trump listens to,\u201d Noem said. \u201cI\u2019m here to tell you that this Democrat government shutdown needs to end now.\u201d<\/p>\n When a senator said that Democrats were \u201ceven more eager to end this shutdown than our Republican colleagues,\u201d Noem quipped, \u201cHa! That makes me laugh more than the ending of Old Yeller<\/a><\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen the dog gets shot?\u201d the baffled congressman responded, to which Noem said, \u201cDogs don\u2019t just \u2018get shot.\u2019 Heroes shoot them.\u201d<\/p>\n That\u2019s when Noem changed the subject to ICE agents not minding that they don\u2019t get paid during the government shutdown. \u201cThey\u2019re in it for the love of the game,\u201d she insisted before beginning\u00a0 her recruiting spiel as Bondi acted as the answering ICE prospects.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you need a job now? (Yeah.) Are you a big, tough guy? (Yeah.) Tough enough for the Army or police? (No.),\u201d the duo began.<\/p>\n \u201cDo you take supplements that you bought at a gas station? (Daily.) Do you like to use zip ties because people in your life don\u2019t trust you with keys? (You know it.)\u201d they continued. \u201cThen buckle up and slap on some Oakleys, big boy. Welcome to ICE.\u201d<\/p>\n