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Abby Howard is sharing how she’s reframed her miscarriage to help her process her grief<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n
The influencer said she’d come to the realization while in her car the other day<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n
Abby and her husband Matt Howard announced they’d lost their third baby in September<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
Abby Howard<\/a> is sharing how she reframed her miscarriage to help her move through her grief.<\/p>\n The influencer, 26, shared an emotional video on her Instagram<\/a> on Thursday, Nov. 13, as she spoke about experiencing a miscarriage at 17 weeks with her third baby with husband Matt Howard<\/a>. Abby began by getting ready for the day and shared that her miscarriage has been the “most devastating thing” she’s experienced in her life so far.<\/p>\n “But navigating through all this pain and blame and guilt and anger and deep sadness has taught me something I never would have expected,” Abby said in the video. “About a week ago, when I was just driving in the car, I came to this conclusion that has changed almost everything for me.”<\/p>\n “Not everyone is going to see grief and loss this way, and that\u2019s totally okay. It\u2019s something that\u2019s so deeply personal to each person,” she continued. “But I realized that for me, grief is the price of love. I\u2019m grieving so hard because I loved so hard.”<\/p>\n Never miss a story \u2014 sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter<\/a> to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer\u200b\u200b, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Abby began tearing up as she said that even before her daughter was born, she loved her so much. She’s realized that her grief is so strong because she loves so fiercely.<\/p>\n “I wouldn’t have grieved like that if I didn\u2019t first love like I did. And here\u2019s the biggest part of it \u2014 it was worth it. I paid that price and I would do it again,” Abby admitted. “Viewing my own heavy grief through the lens of love changed everything for me. I welcome it now because it validates the loving mom that I am.”<\/p>\n “And I also don\u2019t have to dwell in that grief, because I have decided that it was worth the cost,” she explained, adding that this sentiment isn’t necessarily a new one.<\/p>\n “But when it was personal to me and the loss of our daughter, it was so much more profound,” Abby said. “Now I couldn\u2019t have told you this the day of or even a few weeks after. This was something that I had to arrive to after time and contemplation. But now I can look back at this time of my life and see love before I see loss.”<\/p>\n In the caption of her video, Abby shared, “This way of looking at our miscarriage has changed everything for me. I wanted to share it in the chance it could be helpful for you.”<\/p>\n The Howards \u2014 who are parents to sons Griffin, 3, and August, 2 \u2014 initially announced their\u00a0pregnancy loss in a joint Instagram post<\/a>\u00a0on Sept. 27, writing, “It is with very heavy hearts that we share about the loss of our baby girl born far too soon.”<\/p>\n Matt and Abby shared in their post, which featured a photo of the couple holding hands as the latter wore a hospital gown, that they learned that they were expecting a daughter that “had a genetic condition that took her life around 17 weeks gestation.”<\/p>\n The post went on: “The news felt unimaginable. The grief is absolutely devastating. But we feel so much gratitude for the time that we did get to have with her. And we still have hope. Hope has continued to show up for us in so many ways.”<\/p>\n They concluded by welcoming “thoughts and prayers” as they “grieve and continue to think of ways to honor her life offline,” the influencers wrote. “Thank you everyone for celebrating this precious life with us for the past 17 weeks.”<\/p>\n Read the original article on People<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n