<\/p>\n
An eloquence of Inner Temple lawyers scanning every line will have to be drafted in if rumours are true – Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor<\/a> is considering a ‘tell-all’ autobiography. But if the ex-prince is genuinely considering feathering his retirement nest with a tell-all tome – will anything stop shameless ‘Air Miles Andy’<\/a> from crashing the house down around him?\u00a0<\/p>\n When I say ‘tell-all’, there’s the first rub. Let’s face it, as Emily Maitlis<\/a> and the BBC Newsnight<\/a> audience will agree, Andrew is not gifted in the art of spinning a believable yarn. Andrew Lownie’s recent damning biography on Andrew<\/a>, ‘Entitled: The Rise and Fall of the House of York’, sears with scandal, sex and money depicting him as arrogant, self-seeking and in denial about his links to Jeffrey Epstein<\/a>.<\/p>\n But if a publisher could get him to sign on the dotted line, imagine the juicy details of a lifetime at Windsor and Buckingham Palace Andrew could disgorge?<\/p>\n He could reveal to the world his own parents’ relationship; divulge untold nuggets from King Charles’ marriage breakdown and take us behind the scenes after the tragic death of Diana – and that’s before he gets to his own scandals.<\/p>\n First and foremost he’ll be terrified that the wrong printed word will land him in a great deal of trouble with the law on both sides of the Atlantic, or shatter an alibi or two.<\/p>\n He will also be mindful of civil action too, hence the ‘eloquence of lawyers’ – one of the legal profession’s several collective nouns along with ‘an argument, a dispute, a quarrel and a huddle’.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n So before the ink is dry on the publishing contract, let alone the chapter possibly entitled ‘How I met my pal Jeffrey’, he’ll be surrounded by more men in wigs than RuPaul’s Drag Race.<\/p>\n So why would Andrew bother? It seems like a high-risk game.<\/p>\n Two words – money and arrogance. The same two words that sparked Prince Harry<\/a>‘s auto-hypocrisy – sorry I mean autobiography – ‘Spare’, which saw him reportedly rake in a cool \u00a322 million for that sad waste of a forest.<\/p>\n You know it’s been said one tree can produce 1,000 medium-sized books. Spare sold 6 million copies worldwide. We needlessly chopped down 6,000 trees for that.<\/p>\n Spare, which saw Prince Harry slam the media for printing leaks – as he told the world all about private conversations he had with others, in order to sell a book and make money.<\/p>\n