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Who didn\u2019t feel nauseous on Friday when Netflix announced an industry-exploding deal to acquire Warner Bros. for $82.7 billion<\/a>?<\/p>\n Search far and wide on the internet and you\u2019ll have a hard time finding anyone who\u2019s elated that one of the Big Five Hollywood studios has been snapped up by the boneheads responsible for \u201cRed Notice\u201d starring Dwayne \u201cThe Rock\u201d Johnson.\u00a0<\/p>\n The headlines are apocalyptic.<\/p>\n Aliens Invade Earth, Egypt Plagued By Locusts, Netflix Buys Warner Bros.<\/p>\n Backstage, the peeved players all have different and understandable reasons for their ire.<\/p>\n Chief among them, people who make movies want movies to stay in brick-and-mortar theaters.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cNetflix would be a disaster,\u201d \u201cAvatar\u201d and \u201cTitanic\u201d director James Cameron, a loud proponent of the in-person experience, recently said on \u201cThe Town\u201d podcast.\u00a0<\/p>\n The streaming giant has maintained that, while Warners films would still run in cinemas, already abbreviated release windows would be shrunk even further.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Netflix\u2019s \u201cWake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery,\u201d for instance, played 600 theaters for a week last month. Directors \u2014 especially the good ones \u2014 hate this.\u00a0<\/p>\n Such a move would be the death knell for exhibitors.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n And then there are labor concerns.<\/p>\n The Writers Guild of America opposes the plan because, in their view, it would \u201celiminate jobs, push down wages, worsen conditions for all entertainment workers, raise prices for consumers and reduce the volume and diversity of content for all viewers.\u201d<\/p>\n But speaking as a critic with no skin in the game other than thousands of hours of my life, my main issue is that Netflix movies, more often than not, are abysmal.\u00a0<\/p>\n For every overpraised award-season darling like \u201cJay Kelly<\/a>\u201d or \u201cMaestro<\/a>,\u201d or the rare strong film like \u201cWake Up Dead Man,\u201d there are 100 mangy dogs.<\/p>\n Streaming-loving homebodies like to extol the virtues of their couch. I get it. But 10 minutes into most Netflix schlock, a lyric from the musical \u201cCabaret\u201d comes to mind: \u201cWhat good is sitting alone in your room?\u201d<\/p>\n Many of the worst films I have endured over the past decade have come from the former DVD rental business that, assuming regulatory approval of the merger, would become the boss. They have the taste of a Saltine.<\/p>\n Their weak catalogue is packed with copycat Hallmark Christmas movies, rancid rom-coms, underbaked dramas and truly embarrassing action films.\u00a0<\/p>\n Netflix is especially dimwitted when it comes to feeble attempts at \u201cblockbusters.\u201d<\/p>\n In March, the Russo brothers, who directed \u201cAvengers: Endgame,\u201d delivered a $320 million dud called \u201cThe Electric State<\/a>\u201d starring Millie Bobby Brown and Chris Pratt.\u00a0<\/p>\n In this serious sci-fi film, somehow one of the most expensive movies ever made, Woody Harrelson played Mr. Peanut.\u00a0<\/p>\n And there was 2024\u2019s unforgivable \u201cAtlas<\/a>\u201d that had Jennifer Lopez green-screen act with a robot on an ice planet that looked like a screensaver from 2002.<\/p>\n