<\/p>\n
\u201cIn life there are two tragedies,\u201d Oscar Wilde once said. \u201cOne is not getting what one wants. The other is getting it.\u201d The second tragedy was what I saw last night at the Kennedy Center Honors.<\/p>\n
For as long as I can remember, I have been obsessed with the Kennedy Center Honors, a strange, D.C.-based entertainment-awards show where four celebrities you\u2019ve heard of (and one you should have) wear medals, sit in a special box at the Kennedy Center with the president, and receive some form of artistic tribute. Unlike other awards shows, which honor celebrities of the present, these celebrate a lifetime of achievements. When they\u2019re good, they\u2019re very, very good (think of Adam Lambert\u2019s transcendent \u201cBelieve\u201d cover for Cher, or Aretha Franklin playing for Carole King). When they\u2019re strange, they\u2019re very, very strange (the Francis Ford Coppola tribute in which everyone sat at a dinner table springs to mind).<\/p>\n
Are the Kennedy Center Honors important? At this time? Even a little bit? Absolutely not. Have I been longing my whole life to attend one? Absolutely. You can have the Grammys! You can have the Oscars! These<\/i> are my everything. There is at least one other person who feels exactly the same way: the president of the United States. And last night, we were both in attendance.<\/p>\n
Imagine that you have wished to host the Honors all your life. Now you get to. The honorees are several of your favorites. Gloria Gaynor, the singer of the 1978 hit \u201cI Will Survive.\u201d Michael Crawford, who originated the role of the Phantom of the Opera on Broadway and won the Tony for it in 1988. Sylvester Stallone. George Strait. Kiss.<\/p>\n
But something\u2019s off<\/i>. <\/i>The whole evening has the characteristics of a wish made on a monkey\u2019s paw. You wanted the Four Seasons, but you got Four Seasons Total Landscaping<\/a>. Why is a \u201ccontent creator\u201d introducing one of the tributes to Gloria Gaynor? Where is Meryl Streep? Why does a night that should be Donald Trump\u2019s greatest triumph feel so much like he revived the Honors from the Pet Sematary?<\/p>\n Start with the red carpet. Someone who looks like Kellyanne Conway but isn\u2019t walks down it. (This may just be how every woman voluntarily attending Trump events looks now.) Gene Simmons is rude to a reporter who asks him about his past criticism of Trump. He says the American dream is alive and well; his mother fled Germany and he is lucky to have a good life here. Thank goodness America remains a welcoming place for refugees to make a better life, so we can continue to enjoy music. (Hang on for a moment while I Google the administration\u2019s stance on refugees!)<\/p>\n Doug Burgum, secretary of the interior, is offering the dubious, slightly backhanded compliment that Trump is \u201cthe only president we\u2019ve had that would be able to step in and host a show like this\u201d and \u201cthe most qualified TV host we\u2019ve ever had sitting in the Oval Office.\u201d<\/p>\n Howard Lutnick, the commerce secretary, is remarking that he \u201cloves The Phantom of the Opera<\/i>.\u201d<\/p>\n If the fact that Doug Burgum and Howard Lutnick are walking the red carpet makes you wonder whether anyone famous is in attendance, that\u2019s a correct impulse. Sylvester Stallone is there, but he bypasses the carpet, walking rapidly somewhere else. The NewsNation reporter next to me tells her audience that the carpet is a little bit \u201clighter\u201d on \u201cthe Hollywood side\u201d than is typical.<\/p>\n