{"id":2195348,"date":"2025-12-11T19:04:10","date_gmt":"2025-12-11T19:04:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/?p=2195348"},"modified":"2025-12-11T19:04:10","modified_gmt":"2025-12-11T19:04:10","slug":"the-worst-new-country-songs-of-2025","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/the-worst-new-country-songs-of-2025\/","title":{"rendered":"The Worst New \u201cCountry\u201d Songs of 2025"},"content":{"rendered":"<br><div id=\"pryc-wp-acctp-original-content\">\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p><br\/>We\u2019ve run down the\u00a0<strong><a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/savingcountrymusic.com\/saving-country-musics-2025-song-of-the-year-nominees\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" title=\"\">Song of the Year<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0nominees, the\u00a0<strong><a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/savingcountrymusic.com\/2025-saving-country-music-single-of-the-year-nominees\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" title=\"\">Single of the Year nominees<\/a><\/strong>, as well as the\u00a0<strong><a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/savingcountrymusic.com\/2025-saving-country-music-album-of-the-year-nominees\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" title=\"\">Album of the Year<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0nominees for 2025. Now it\u2019s time to give the WORST offerings in \u201ccountry\u201d music their fair due. And no, we\u2019re not holding back our feelings at all. We\u2019re rearing back and letting \u2019em have it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>WARNING:<\/strong>\u00a0This exercise isn\u2019t for the faint of heart. But don\u2019t forget, we\u2019re just having fun at the expense of some very bad songs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\">Morgan Wallen \u2013 \u201cMiami\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><br\/>I\u2019d rather get brained by a flying deck chair from four stories up than be subjected to another nanosecond of Morgan Wallen\u2019s \u201cMiami.\u201d Categories 5 hurricanes with retired names and dedicated Wikipedia pages have inflicted less catastrophic damage and resulted in fewer post traumatic stress diagnoses than what \u201cMiami\u201d wrought 48 hours after its release. This song is such a disaster, it\u2019s visible from Space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And of course \u201cMiami\u201d comes with NINE songwriters, though this includes the sainted Hall of Famers Hank Cochran and Dean Dillon, along with Royce Porter who wrote the original \u201cMiami, My Amy\u201d song. But something tells me that Hank Cochran, Dean Dillon, and Keith Whitley never envisioned shitty trap beats, and an electronically-generated chorus line of Oompa Loompas screeching out \u201cMiiiaammmeeee\u2026\u201d over and over when they wrote the song originally. (<a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/savingcountrymusic.com\/morgan-wallen-bastardizes-keith-whitley-classic-with-miami-a-rant\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">read full rant<\/a>)<br\/><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"jeg_video_container jeg_video_content\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Morgan Wallen - Miami (Audio)\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/7u7ZGG5C6jg?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\">Graham Barham \u2013 \u201cOil Money\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><br\/>Ready your rape kits America, because the music of Graham Barham is spreading on social media like a bad rash and infecting your little chickadees faster than an ultra-viral avian flu. It\u2019s easier to find a carton of eggs for under $3 these days than it is to uncover anything of value in Graham Barham\u2019s so-called \u201cmusic.\u201d This dude oozes affluenza more than a mealy-mouthed little $hit whose parents paid off the local judge after he murdered a family of four drunk in his Bugatti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Imagine using the most advanced surgical procedures enhanced by cutting-edge AI technology to meticulously isolate and extract the very kernel essence of what made performers like Sam Hunt and Florida Georgia Line so sinister and cringe, and then using the latest bio-engineering to increase the mass of this little piece of evilness until it takes a human form. This is what you get with Graham Barham. It\u2019s absolutely everything that was abhorrent about Bro-Country in a purified, unadulterated state, served to the public with no chaser.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If this guy called a spade a spade and admitted this is nothing more than a bad White boy hip-hop act, then it would be none of our business over here in By God country music. But Graham Barham and the weasel-dicks at Sony who signed this asshole actually legitimately think this is country music. (<a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/savingcountrymusic.com\/this-graham-barham-guy-a-rant\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">read full rant<\/a>)<br\/><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"jeg_video_container jeg_video_content\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Graham Barham - OIL MONEY (Official Audio)\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/hJXXG50Ix4A?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\">BigXthaPlug feat. Bailey Zimmerman \u2013 \u201cAll The Way\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><br\/>Hey BigXthaButtPlug, just because you\u2019ve got tits the size of Dolly Parton\u2019s and are pre-diabetic like Gary LeVox of Rascal Flatts, that don\u2019t make you country, bud. You can\u2019t just declare yourself country like Michael Scott in\u00a0<em>The Office<\/em>\u00a0declared bankruptcy. You\u2019ve got to do your 10,000 hours, and all you\u2019ve done is shoved Ho-Hos down your gullet and vomited back up straight hip-hop verses that are being label \u201ccountry\u201d because \u2026 well, I\u2019m not exactly sure why. Because the TEMU version of Morgan Wallen is featured on this stupid track?<\/p><p>BigXthaButtPlug isn\u2019t \u201cevolving\u201d country music, he\u2019s breaking it, like literally. There\u2019s a triage of office chairs with busted casters from his visits to Music Row. Good lord don\u2019t let this guy step into the hallowed circle of the Grand Ole Opry stage or he might splinter the boards.<\/p><p>After BigXthaButtPlug had a #1 song in country, I had to explain to my mother what a butt plug was. Wait, \u201cButt Plug\u201d isn\u2019t actually part of his real name? Maybe it\u2019s a Freudian thing going on because that\u2019s how I read it. Well either way, screw this guy, especially since he made me explain what a butt plug was to my mother for no reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"jeg_video_container jeg_video_content\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"BigXthaPlug - All The Way feat. Bailey Zimmerman (Official Music Video)\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/7kyHvPNbugk?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\">Gary LeVox, Akon, De La Ghetto \u2013 \u201cHold The Umbrella.\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><br\/>I\u2019d rather be stuck on a poop cruise adrift in the Caribbean during a COVID Alpha outbreak, only to de-ship in Cancun and be kidnapped and held for ransom while cartel cronies shove toothpicks up my cuticles than ever suffer another complete second in the audience of this \u201csong.\u201d <\/p><p>Gary LeVox trying to act hip in his wife\u2019s cardigan is about the greatest incidental comedy ever constructed. The irony of LeVox singing \u201cHold The Umbrella\u201d when the guy can only properly clothe himself in plus-sized ponchos is pretty rich. When you think of the exotic and tropical, do you really think of the Rascal Flatts frontman? The only thing LeVox should be reppin\u2019 is Cracker Barrel since his blood is sawmill gravy.<\/p><p>Don\u2019t know who the other two losers on this song are, but someone should snitch on them to Kristi Noem and get all three swept up in a plain clothes ICE raid and sent to a torture dungeon in El Salvador to sweat away the rest of their lives. Don\u2019t put LeVox in Alligator Alcatraz though. His cholesterol piss would poison the pristine nature of the Everglades.<\/p><p>This song can screw right off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"jeg_video_container jeg_video_content\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Gary LeVox, Akon - Hold The Umbrella ft. De La Ghetto (Official Music Video) ft. De La Ghetto\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/x_FJEGRsXTg?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\">Dan + Shay \u2013 \u201cBack To December\u201d <br\/><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>I heard that Dan + Shay were going viral with their version of Taylor Swift\u2019s song \u201cBack to December,\u201d and decided to give it a quick peep. Next thing I knew, my mandhood proceeded to shrivel like a maggot in a microwave, and spontaneously invert into my pelvic region until all that was left was a full-on life-sized Mattel Ken Doll version of a completely featureless man-gina. Thanks Dan + Shay, you twerps.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You crave hearing a new song from Dan + Shay like you crave hearing Christmas music before Halloween. The emasculated tones, the aggressive use of AutoTune, the entirely soul-bereft delivery, it\u2019s everything safe and dull about American music concentrated and purified into its most generic form.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019d call it a snooze fest, but a sedate, emotionless reaction is not exactly what Dan + Shay\u2019s music inspires. It\u2019s more of a sense of wanting to self-immolate if necessary to permanently and forever remove one\u2019s self from the audience of another single auditory note from this maniacally terrible duo, even if that comes with the complete expiration of one\u2019s life to fulfill this wish. (<a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/savingcountrymusic.com\/dan-shay-cover-taylor-swifts-back-to-december-a-rant\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\" title=\"\">read full rant<\/a>) <br\/><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"jeg_video_container jeg_video_content\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Dan + Shay - Back To December (Taylor Swift Cover)\" width=\"500\" height=\"281\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/yP-43O3kyos?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\">Kane Brown \u2013 2 Pair<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201cGee, Mr. Brown, we know they\u2019re a pair of custom-made $2,500 Lucchese boots. But how did they get up there sideways?\u201d <\/em><\/p><p>If Luccheses are the Cadillac of boots, Kane Brown is a pair of returned and remaindered Chinese-made Ariats at the bottom of the clearance bin. The dude\u2019s got a great voice for country, but chooses to use it on a product placement ad that\u2019s so patently terrible, the company being touted publicly distances from it. If you\u2019re going to sell out this hard, at least secure some sponsor cash. But in this instance, even some of Kane Brown\u2019s own fans are like, \u201cIt\u2019s a no from me, dog.\u201d <\/p><p>Kane Brown\u2019s caught in this song saying \u201cI feel like Nelly.\u201d You mean you feel like a 50-something washed up rapper who whored himself on the country circuit opening for Florida Georgia Line and has been thrice accused of rape? You might want to check your vitamin supplement routine there, Kane. <\/p><p>Kane Brown looks like a worm. Instead doubling up on his Lucchese boot inventory, and blowing his music budget on a Florida-based video shoot and renting a glorified Catamaran because they can\u2019t afford a yacht, how about they hire a surgeon to fix his face? <br\/><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"jeg_video_container jeg_video_content\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Kane Brown - 2 Pair (Official Music Video)\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/EJ95Txjt4WQ?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<!-- PRyC WP: Add custom content to bottom of post\/page: Standard Content START --><\/div>\r\n<p><em> \u2018 The preceding article may include information circulated by third parties \u2019 <\/em><\/p>\r\n<p><em> \u2018 Some details of this article were extracted from the following source savingcountrymusic.com \u2019 <\/em><\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We\u2019ve run down the\u00a0Song of the Year\u00a0nominees, the\u00a0Single of the Year nominees, as well as the\u00a0Album of the Year\u00a0nominees for 2025. Now it\u2019s time to give the WORST offerings in \u201ccountry\u201d music their fair due. And no, we\u2019re not holding back our feelings at all. We\u2019re rearing back and letting \u2019em have it. WARNING:\u00a0This exercise [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2195349,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[25179],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2195348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-music"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/The-Worst-New-Country-Songs-of-2025.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2195348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2195348"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2195348\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2195350,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2195348\/revisions\/2195350"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2195349"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2195348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2195348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2195348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}