<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know about you guys, but yet again, I did not receive an invite to the Royal Family\u2019s annual holiday festivities. Not gonna lie, it stings.<\/p>\n
So from this day forward, the only monarch I officially recognize is Queen Latifah. Yeah, I said it.<\/p>\n
Anyway, since we aren\u2019t on the Royals\u2019 guest list, I have the next best thing: their weird, wild, and wacky Christmas traditions!<\/p>\n
What do you get the ruler who has almost everything? Duh, a leather toilet seat. According to Elle,<\/a> King Charles once received exactly that on a fateful Christmas Eve. <\/p>\n It\u2019s not rude; it\u2019s tradition. The Royal Family opens gifts the night before Christmas with one rule: the presents must be cheap and ridiculous. The goal is to get the biggest laugh out of the room.<\/p>\n Honestly, they had me at \u201cleather toilet seat.\u201d<\/p>\n Don’t get bold and challenge the Duchess to a heated round of Monopoly. It could land you in a dungeon! <\/p>\n Okay, maybe not a dungeon, but board games, specifically Monopoly, are a major no-no on Christmas. Marie Claire<\/a> reports that the ban started when Queen Elizabeth II declared the game was “too vicious.” <\/p>\n As for nixing TV, the outlet says King Charles wants the focus on family and not “Heated Rivalry” on HBO Max. Full transparency: they didn\u2019t cite the smoldering hockey romance as an example. I just made my best guess at what\u2019s on their must-see list.<\/p>\n According to the Independent<\/a>, a former royal chef revealed, “[Children] aren’t allowed to sit with the adults until they have learned the art of polite conversation.” <\/p>\n No fair! What about adults who haven\u2019t mastered the art of interesting conversation? Can Great Uncle Nigel be sent to the Tower of London for a time-out? No one wants to hear about his ingrown toenail while trying to enjoy brunch. <\/p>\n Every guest at Sandringham House, where the family celebrates the holiday, must step on an antique scale before and after Christmas dinner. CBS News <\/a>says the tradition dates back to King Edward VII, who reportedly wanted evidence that his guests had truly partaken in the extravagant, multi-course banquets — preferably by putting on a few pounds in the process.<\/p>\n Look, I\u2019m all for a good time, but if someone asks me to hop on a scale at their holiday soir\u00e9e, we\u2019re gonna have problems. Also, I weigh myself in the nude for total accuracy, and that usually doesn\u2019t go over well when there are 70 guests watching.<\/p>\n Don’t just swing by all loosey-goosey whenever it’s convenient to the Royal Christmas. The Telegraph <\/a>reports that guests are supposed to arrive in order of seniority, with King Charles and Queen Camilla arriving last. This pecking order makes sure the monarch is never left waiting. So, make sure your Uber or horse-drawn carriage shows up on time.<\/p>\nTV AND BOARD GAMES ARE BANNED<\/h2>\n
KIDS ARE BANISHED (WELL, SORT OF)<\/h2>\n
GET ON THE SCALE… OR ELSE!<\/h2>\n
KEEP THE ORDER!<\/h2>\n
HANDS OFF THE DECOR<\/h2>\n