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The 2026 Winter Olympics are in full swing, and like many other people, I\u2019ve gotten heavily invested in people that I did not know one week ago and sports that I don\u2019t think about but once every four years. I\u2019m trying my best to be self-aware when I watch these events, marveling over these athletes and the skill that they show off to the world, but I still find myself yelling at the television with my thoughts and instructions as if I really had something to offer a world class ice dancer.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s in this spirit that I engaged in this exercise. Let\u2019s say that for whatever reason, the 2026 Winter Olympics needed more participants, and the Kansas City Royals were chosen as the people that need to participate. What events would you send each Royals player to in your best attempt at competing? While the real correct answer is probably \u201cnone of them,\u201d and the next best option is \u201csend Bobby Witt to all of them,\u201d I only let each player compete in one event.<\/p>\n
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So with all the expertise that I\u2019ve gained over the past four days, here\u2019s my list of what Royals players that I would send to each Winter Olympics event.<\/p>\n
Alpine Skiing \u2013 Maikel Garcia<\/strong>: I feel like Garcia is both shifty and fluid enough with his body to figure out how to go flying down the mountain at breathtaking speeds. Garcia has great reaction times as well, as evidenced by his Gold Glove at third base, which should also help him skiing.<\/p>\n Biathalon \u2013 Vinnie Pasquantino<\/strong>: You have to be strong to hold a gun steady and fire at targets after skiing over long distances, so the Royals first baseman is my choice for this event. Vinnie presumably would have a more enjoyable time in Italy than this guy. <\/a><\/p>\n Bobsledding \u2013 Jac Caglianone: <\/strong>Caglianone should have the strength and speed it takes to push the heavy bobsled from a standing start to a full sprint. Let\u2019s hope he\u2019s up for the whole steering it part afterwards.<\/p>\n Advertisement<\/p>\n Cross Country Skiing \u2013 Noah Cameron: <\/strong>Someone has to do it.<\/p>\n Curling \u2013 Seth Lugo and Michael Wacha: <\/strong>There is a lot of strategy in curling, as well as adapting to how the ice changes over the course of a match, so I\u2019m trusting that the two veteran starting pitchers are up for the challenge.<\/p>\n Figure Skating \u2013 Kyle Isbel: <\/strong>Isbel is an artist out as a centerfield defender and should have the flexibility, agility and coordination to shine on the ice. Assuming he can skate.<\/p>\n Freestyle Skiing \u2013 Michael Massey: <\/strong>Massey is a good and fluid defensive player, and proved himself able to handle outfield last year as well as infield. Let\u2019s hope that flexibility and body control keeps him alive on some of these runs.<\/p>\n Advertisement<\/p>\n Hockey \u2013 Issac Collins: <\/strong>The Royals newest outfielder is from Minnesota, so he must have played some hockey in his life.<\/p>\n Luge \u2013 Salvador Perez: <\/strong>I\u2019m banking on Perez\u2019s upper body strength to help him get a fast start. You also need to stay calm while you are traveling so fast, and the Royals catcher has always been a calming presence behind the plate.<\/p>\n Nordic Combined \u2013 Lucas Erceg: <\/strong>Erceg was a third baseman before he was a pitcher, so I\u2019m banking on that two-way ability here. I\u2019m sure it\u2019s completely applicable.<\/p>\n Short Track Speed Skating<\/strong> \u2013 Tyler Tolbert: <\/strong>Let\u2019s send the Royals fastest player to the event that relies most on speed.<\/p>\n Advertisement<\/p>\n Skeleton \u2013 Cole Ragans: <\/strong>The skeleton riders all seem strong, long and lean, so Ragans has the right body type. Like Salvy, I also trust Ragans to stay calm under pressure.<\/p>\n Ski Jumping- Carter Jensen: <\/strong>You have to very little fear to be a MLB catcher, and you have to have very little fear to fly through the air on skis. I also think Jensen\u2019s power in his legs would help him during the take-off.<\/p>\n