NEED TO KNOW<\/h3>\n\n- \n\n
Sarah Shahi divorced Steve Howey, with whom she shares three kids, in 2020 after 11 years of marriage and 18 years together<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n
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In PEOPLE’s exclusive clip from the Feb. 24 episode of the Not Skinny But Not Fat<\/em> podcast, Shahi, 46, opens up about how starring in Netflix’s Sex\/Life<\/em> inspired her to file for divorce<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n- \n\n
“I felt like I was being possessed by this character, Billie, and I was finally having the guts to say and do all the things that I wanted to do for years before,” Shahi says<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
To say Sex\/Life<\/em><\/a> changed Sarah Shahi<\/a>‘s life is an understatement.<\/p>\nShahi, 46, played unsatisfied suburban wife and mom Billie in the Netflix series, which premiered soon after her 2020 divorce<\/a> from Steve Howey<\/a> \u2014 and the parallels between her life and her character did not go unnoticed.<\/p>\nIn PEOPLE’s exclusive clip from the Feb. 24 episode of Amanda Hirsch\u2019s Not Skinny But Not Fat<\/em> podcast, Shahi explains how she felt she was “along for the ride” in a cosmic way as her character’s bravery inspired her own.<\/p>\n“You know, divorce is never something that happens overnight, but [Billie] definitely was \u2014 she pushed it for sure,” Shahi says. “I gathered strength in her, unlike any character I had ever played, you know, and it was just such an interesting moment in my life where the stars took over in a way that was really divine.”<\/p>\n
Shahi says she felt she was “along for the ride” and “not in control of anything that was happening” as her life and her character’s merged together. “I felt like I was being possessed by this character, Billie, and I was finally having the guts to say and do all the things that I wanted to do for years before.”<\/p>\n\n\n<\/div>\nSteve Howey, Sarah Shahi, daughter Violet Moon Howey and sons William Wolf Howey and Knox Blue Howey attend the Premiere of ‘Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation’ on June 30, 2018 in Westwood, California. <\/i><\/p>\nAxelle\/Bauer-Griffin\/FilmMagic<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n
There were pitfalls from that bravery, though. “I lost friends,” Shahi admits of her split from Howey, 48, with whom she shares three kids: William, 16, and 10-year-old twins Violet and Knox<\/a>.<\/p>\n“Friends that were very deeply in the know were like, ‘What are you doing?’ People that had my back up until the moment that I did get the divorce dropped me,” she says.<\/p>\n
Describing herself as “not a judgmental person,” Shahi says her approach with friends is to “ask them a series of questions about how do you feel, how is this, what if this happens, what if that happens, so that way they come to their own conclusions,” but that same courtesy was not extended to her.<\/p>\n
“The amount of judgment I got [for] getting the divorce from people who honestly were just unhappy in their own relationships, but they decided to stick it out, and they thought I should do the same,” she continues. “And it’s like \u2014\u00a0that’s not what we’re here for. We’re here to have fun and be happy.”<\/p>\n
“Why can’t I do that? I have the right to be happy. Everybody has the right to be happy,” she concluded.<\/p>\n
Never miss a story \u2014 sign up for PEOPLE’s <\/strong>free daily newsletter<\/strong><\/a> to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer\u200b\u200b, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n![\"Sarah](\"https:\/\/s.yimg.com\/ny\/api\/res\/1.2\/TUG.PXmjkHBautQs.h0yeQ--\/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjg-\/https:\/\/media.zenfs.com\/en\/aol_people_articles_471\/d036531d05fda5225e607b9b96329c4c\"\/)
<\/div>\nSarah Shahi as Billie Connelly in “Sex\/Life” <\/i><\/p>\nNetflix<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n
The Paradise<\/em> star previously said that Sex\/Life<\/em><\/a>, which ran for two seasons and introduced her to her now ex-boyfriend, Adam Demos<\/a>, gave her “the courage to say, ‘I’m not happy. And I feel like we should as individuals have the right to be happy.’ “<\/p>\n
Sarah Shahi divorced Steve Howey, with whom she shares three kids, in 2020 after 11 years of marriage and 18 years together<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n
In PEOPLE’s exclusive clip from the Feb. 24 episode of the Not Skinny But Not Fat<\/em> podcast, Shahi, 46, opens up about how starring in Netflix’s Sex\/Life<\/em> inspired her to file for divorce<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n “I felt like I was being possessed by this character, Billie, and I was finally having the guts to say and do all the things that I wanted to do for years before,” Shahi says<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n To say Sex\/Life<\/em><\/a> changed Sarah Shahi<\/a>‘s life is an understatement.<\/p>\n Shahi, 46, played unsatisfied suburban wife and mom Billie in the Netflix series, which premiered soon after her 2020 divorce<\/a> from Steve Howey<\/a> \u2014 and the parallels between her life and her character did not go unnoticed.<\/p>\n In PEOPLE’s exclusive clip from the Feb. 24 episode of Amanda Hirsch\u2019s Not Skinny But Not Fat<\/em> podcast, Shahi explains how she felt she was “along for the ride” in a cosmic way as her character’s bravery inspired her own.<\/p>\n “You know, divorce is never something that happens overnight, but [Billie] definitely was \u2014 she pushed it for sure,” Shahi says. “I gathered strength in her, unlike any character I had ever played, you know, and it was just such an interesting moment in my life where the stars took over in a way that was really divine.”<\/p>\n Shahi says she felt she was “along for the ride” and “not in control of anything that was happening” as her life and her character’s merged together. “I felt like I was being possessed by this character, Billie, and I was finally having the guts to say and do all the things that I wanted to do for years before.”<\/p>\n Axelle\/Bauer-Griffin\/FilmMagic<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n There were pitfalls from that bravery, though. “I lost friends,” Shahi admits of her split from Howey, 48, with whom she shares three kids: William, 16, and 10-year-old twins Violet and Knox<\/a>.<\/p>\n “Friends that were very deeply in the know were like, ‘What are you doing?’ People that had my back up until the moment that I did get the divorce dropped me,” she says.<\/p>\n Describing herself as “not a judgmental person,” Shahi says her approach with friends is to “ask them a series of questions about how do you feel, how is this, what if this happens, what if that happens, so that way they come to their own conclusions,” but that same courtesy was not extended to her.<\/p>\n “The amount of judgment I got [for] getting the divorce from people who honestly were just unhappy in their own relationships, but they decided to stick it out, and they thought I should do the same,” she continues. “And it’s like \u2014\u00a0that’s not what we’re here for. We’re here to have fun and be happy.”<\/p>\n “Why can’t I do that? I have the right to be happy. Everybody has the right to be happy,” she concluded.<\/p>\n Never miss a story \u2014 sign up for PEOPLE’s <\/strong>free daily newsletter<\/strong><\/a> to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer\u200b\u200b, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.<\/strong><\/p>\n Netflix<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/figcaption><\/div>\n<\/figure>\n The Paradise<\/em> star previously said that Sex\/Life<\/em><\/a>, which ran for two seasons and introduced her to her now ex-boyfriend, Adam Demos<\/a>, gave her “the courage to say, ‘I’m not happy. And I feel like we should as individuals have the right to be happy.’ “<\/p>\n<\/div>