{"id":2339849,"date":"2026-03-21T11:03:15","date_gmt":"2026-03-21T11:03:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/?p=2339849"},"modified":"2026-03-21T11:03:15","modified_gmt":"2026-03-21T11:03:15","slug":"big-celebrities-on-the-shotover-jet-ranked-from-least-to-most-shit-scared","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/big-celebrities-on-the-shotover-jet-ranked-from-least-to-most-shit-scared\/","title":{"rendered":"Big celebrities on the Shotover Jet, ranked from least to most shit-scared"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Alex Casey charts a history of famous faces braving one of Aotearoa\u2019s most enduring attractions.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t the subject line that captured my attention \u2013 \u201cEMBARGOED: Shotover Jet turns 60!\u201d \u2013 but a humble bullet point within the PR email: \u201cOver the decades, the famous red boats have carried a remarkable mix of passengers \u2013 from Hollywood stars to Kiwi legends and even royalty.\u201d As a nosey parker with a penchant for celebrities gracing our shores, I used my journalistic nous (replied) to obtain a dossier of simply staggering names and photographs.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, I\u2019ve never done the Shotover Jet myself because I am far too much of a wimp, but I have read my fair share of Google reviews about it, which is basically the same thing. \u201cPure adrenaline from the first splash to the last spin,\u201d wrote one fan. \u201cIt\u2019s the 360 degrees gravity defying turns that makes the ride so thrilling,\u201d said another. There were many mentions of exhilaration, squeals, splashes, and one particularly bold promise that stood out: \u201cyou won\u2019t get scared <\/span>at all<\/b>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Keeping this mantra in mind, I perused the photographic evidence put in front of me and soon realised what I had to do. Please enjoy this history of celebrities on the Shotover Jet over the last 60 years, ranked from least to most shit-scared.<\/span><\/p>\n

15. Hugh Jackman and Liev Shrieber, 2<\/b>008<\/b><\/h2>\n

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We begin with this exceptional display of lupine confidence from the X-Men Origins: Wolverine stars. Liev Shrieber might have one hand still secretly clutching on for dear life, but it is Hugh Jackman\u2019s hands-free, double peace sign pose that easily wins them the title of \u201cleast shit-scared\u201d in this ranking. Top the look off with a lifejacket, a pair of Morpheus glasses and mutton chops, and I could really see this one taking off for Halloween 2025.<\/p>\n

14. Sir Peter Blake, 1995<\/b><\/h2>\n

\"A\"A<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Rock my red socks right off the dock because this has got to be the most composed anyone has ever looked, anywhere, at any time. But would we expect anything less from the man who led New Zealand to two America\u2019s Cup victories? Look at those golden locks cascading to one side like a bloody Pantene commercial. Look at that completely unbothered wave, fingers as evenly-spaced and perfectly straight as someone laying down prints outside the Chinese Theatre. Look at that knowing smirk. This is a man who knows water. This is a man who could not be further from shit-scared.<\/span><\/p>\n

13. Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, 2008<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"A\"A<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

A classic one-hander straight out of the book of Blake here. Notice how the airborne strands of hair create the illusion of a crown? Queen of composure, Dame of our hearts \u2013 they tried to scare her and she simply said sopraNO.<\/p>\n

12. Peter Jackson, 2018<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"A\"A<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

I know what you\u2019re thinking: another day, another unbothered Sir with the one-handed wave. But look closer and you\u2019ll notice small signals of distress on display. Jackson toes a very fine line between a smile and a grimace, his eyes appear closed, and his free hand is much more askew and gnarled than we\u2019ve just seen from other members of his ordained Fellowship. As a wise man once said: it\u2019s a dangerous business, going out your door.<\/p>\n

11. Ian McKellen, 2011<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"A\"A<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If we can stay in Middle Earth for just a moment more, I\u2019d like to also share this relatively inconclusive image of Sir Ian McKellen. Yes, he looks extremely composed, but the water around him is simply too calm to accurately compare fear-levels to his predecessors. One thing is for sure though: that arm \u201cshall not pass\u201d through that sleeve.<\/p>\n

10. John Key, 2011<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"A\"A<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

OK, Teflon John! Talk to me when you\u2019re actually in the rapids, and please confirm or deny whether or not you were blasting \u2018Lose Yourself\u2019 while this image was being taken.<\/p>\n

9. America Ferrera, 2010<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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Hold onto your teeth, because we now enter the open-mouth portion of the ranking. Actress America Ferrera may have had the confidence to raise one arm to the skies, but her gaping maw is giving Sisterhood of the Travelling (Soiled) Pants.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

8. Brooke Shields, 1995<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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In the very same year that she starred in a film called Running Wild, Brooke Shields ran wild herself in Aotearoa, perhaps celebrating her 30th birthday with some thrilling tourism. She\u2019s channeling her fellow \u201995-er Sir Peter Blake with those windswept locks, but the total absence of a wave suggests Shields is holding on mighty tight to avoid ending up in the \u201cBlue Lagoon\u201d. The needle is teetering, ever closer, to shit-scared.<\/p>\n

7. Prince William and Princess Catherine, 2014<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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They might not seem that scared in isolation, but its the fellow passengers who really put Wills and Kate to shame here. Quite a feat to have the man second in line to rule the British Empire onboard, and yet all I want to know is\u2026 what\u2019s the deal with the chill guy doing the thumbs up and why is he wearing a full suit?<\/p>\n

6. Queen Elizabeth II, 1990<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"\"\"\"<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Speaking of yellow-bellied royals, I present to you Queen Elizabeth II pursing her lips somewhere near the Shotover Jet in 1990. A real missed opportunity to not get a royal wave on that rapids, and we must simply chalk it up to shit-scaredness.<\/p>\n

5. George Lucas, 2005<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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I\u2019m sorry to throw off the methodology with another land-based entry, but I just had to chuck in this great image of George Lucas looking extremely trepidatious among his goofy pals. Now there is a man who has a very bad feeling about this<\/a>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

4. Kenny Rogers, 2005<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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What a thrill to have not one but two amazing angles on Kenny Rogers during his visit in 2005. That face may be smiling but look at that shit-scared white-knuckle grip: a coward of the county through and through.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Ed Sheeran, 2016<\/strong><\/h2>\n

\"\"\"\"<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The face and hair of a man so stressed out that it is no surprise he planned a series of surprise attacks<\/a> on the whole country as revenge.<\/p>\n

2. Ben Harper and Laura Dern, <\/b>2009<\/b><\/h2>\n

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First of all, who knew that these two were ever married?! Second of all, how shit-scared are they?! A once \u201cWild at Heart\u201d Laura Dern is absolutely cowering in fear, and Ben Harper appears to be filming everything on his four megapixel phone purely for insurance purposes. Is it a coincidence that they did the Shotover Jet in 2009, and the same year the New Zealand-loving singer told local media that his residency application was \u201con hold<\/a>\u201d? I think not.<\/span><\/p>\n

1. Justin Bieber, 2017<\/strong><\/h2>\n

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We began with Shrieber and we must end with Bieber. Where prior trips to Aotearoa have seen the singer locked in a room with Drew Ne\u2019emia<\/a>, robbed of his precious hat<\/a> and baptised with L&P<\/a>, 2017 was marred with much more moodiness. When he wasn\u2019t \u201clooking miserable and bored and like he\u2019d literally rather be anywhere else<\/a>\u201d on stage, he was looking miserable and bored and like he\u2019d literally rather be anywhere else on the white water rapids at 85km\/h.<\/p>\n

\u201cBieber appeared disinterested,\u201d NZ Herald reported of this wild ride<\/a>. \u201cHe continued to stare off to the side as one of the other boat patrons snapped photos with his camera phone.\u201d An eerie image that transcends shit-scaredness and reaches a whole new depth of emotion entirely. Five stars.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\u2018 The preceding article may include information circulated by third parties \u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018 Some details of this article were extracted from the following source thespinoff.co.nz \u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Alex Casey charts a history of famous faces braving one of Aotearoa\u2019s most enduring attractions.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t the subject line that captured my attention \u2013 \u201cEMBARGOED: Shotover Jet turns 60!\u201d \u2013 but a humble bullet point within the PR email: \u201cOver the decades, the famous red boats have carried a remarkable mix of passengers \u2013 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2339850,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[25173],"tags":[344724,22367,346643,395556,22056,453396,349157],"class_list":["post-2339849","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-artists","tag-brooke-shields","tag-celebrity","tag-kenny-rogers","tag-nz","tag-pop-culture","tag-shotover-jet","tag-tourism"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Big-celebrities-on-the-Shotover-Jet-ranked-from-least-to.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2339849","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2339849"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2339849\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2339851,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2339849\/revisions\/2339851"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2339850"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2339849"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2339849"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2339849"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}