{"id":2340181,"date":"2026-03-21T18:38:06","date_gmt":"2026-03-21T18:38:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/?p=2340181"},"modified":"2026-03-21T18:38:06","modified_gmt":"2026-03-21T18:38:06","slug":"andrew-mccarthy-breaks-down-why-men-in-midlife-dont-have-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/andrew-mccarthy-breaks-down-why-men-in-midlife-dont-have-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"Andrew McCarthy breaks down why men in midlife don&#8217;t have friends"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F2%2F2026%2F03%2Fcrop-38841571_9c8981.jpg?quality%3D90%26strip%3Dall\" \/><\/p>\n<div>\n<p>A few years back, Andrew McCarthy was having a conversation with his then 20-year-old son, Sam, who was telling him a funny story about a buddy\u2019s dating life. Then the boy made a comment that struck a nerve.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou don\u2019t really have any friends, do you, Dad?\u201d <\/p>\n<p>In the days that followed, McCarthy \u2014\u00a0who rose to fame in the 1980s as a key member of the Brat Pack, starring in films such as \u201cPretty in Pink\u201d and \u201cSt. Elmo\u2019s Fire\u201d \u2014 couldn\u2019t stop thinking about the \u201cslightly embarrassing\u201d comment.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>Andrew McCarthy\u2019s son made a quip about his lack of friends that made him take stock.  <span class=\"credit\">Jesse Dittmar<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cI kind of felt exposed in a certain way,\u201d the 63-year-old told The Post. \u201cKids will just say what they perceive to be the truth, and attention must be paid, you know?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He realized that, amidst work and family, he\u2019d let many close friends fall by the wayside and hadn\u2019t modeled relationships well for his son.\u00a0<\/p>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module aligncenter wp-block-nypost-editor-primary-tag\">\n<\/aside>\n<p>The conversation led him to reach out to an old friend near Baltimore he hadn\u2019t spoken with in years, rent a car and drive to see the guy. When McCarthy arrived, he found his once extroverted buddy holed up his apartment, isolated by severe back problems and surrounded by Amazon packages.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>McCarthy (center with Jon Cryer and Molly Ringwald) starred in some of the most iconic films of the 1980s, including \u201cPretty in Pink\u201d (pictured). <span class=\"credit\">\u00a9Paramount\/Courtesy Everett Collection<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201c[I] just sort of realized instantly, \u2018Wow, you\u2019ve really been struggling with something,&#8217;\u201d McCarthy said. \u201cIf I had been doing my friendly duty, I would have known and he would have felt he could open up to me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The encounter ended up being just the beginning of a 10,000-mile, 22-state road trip to visit long lost pals and converse with strangers about their own friendships.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>McCarthy chronicles the journey in his new book, \u201c<a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" data-aps-asc-tag=\"nypost-20\" data-aps-asin=\"1538768941\" data-wrapped-template=\"https:\/\/r.nypostlink.com?btn_ref=org-19984c113c692001&amp;btn_url\" href=\"https:\/\/r.nypostlink.com?btn_ref=org-19984c113c692001&amp;btn_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FWho-Needs-Friends-Unscientific-Examination%2Fdp%2F1538768941%3Ftag%3Dnypost-20%26asc_refurl%3Dhttps%3A%2F%2Fnypost.com%2F2026%2F03%2F21%2Flifestyle%2Fandrew-mccarthy-breaks-down-why-men-in-midlife-dont-have-friends%2F%26asc_source%3Dweb\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\">Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America<\/a>.\u201d Here, he talks to The Post about the journey.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large is-resized\"><figcaption>McCarthy (top right) and his cohorts becamed known as the Brat Pack. \u201cSt. Elmo\u2019s Fire\u201d starred many Brat Packers. Pictured are Judd Nelson (from left), Ally Sheedy, Rob Lowe, Mare Winningham  (obscured), Emilio Estevez and Demi Moore.  <span class=\"credit\">\u00a9Columbia Pictures\/Courtesy Everett Collection<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><strong>Would your son ever have asked your wife about not having any friends? <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>No, my wife\u2019s the most social person you\u2019ve ever met. <\/p>\n<p><strong>Why do you think this has become such a thing for men in midlife \u2014 to not have friends or to not keep in touch with people?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Women know the value of friendship, I think, more than men do. We\u2019re afraid of the easy intimacy that women are sort of willing to go to right away \u2026 And I think he notion of intimacy for men is, you know, they equate that with some kind of sexuality, and that can be a frightening thing for heterosexual guys. And I think the vulnerability, which is required to be a friend, can be equated with weakness \u2014 and the one thing a man can\u2019t be is weak. All the cliches I think are absolutely true \u2026 and the idea of being an American man has changed so much over time. In the 19th century, Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed, these men were really intimate. You look at old letters between men, and they were very affectionate and loving and effusive. Even physically, there was a lot of intimacy between men. And then somehow, by the time John Wayne and the Second World War happened, being an American man had become, \u2018You carry your own water, you pull your hat down, you don\u2019t talk about it. You\u2019re stoic and, you know, suck it up.\u2019<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>McCarthy married Dolores Rice in 2011.  <span class=\"credit\">Stephen Lovekin<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><strong>Which of your conversations with strangers stuck in your mind the most?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>These two old cops I met in Ohio were really incredible to me. I met them in an Arby\u2019s or something, some fast-food joint connected to a gas station. They were the kind of guys that I would have, in my arrogance or whatever, just dismissed as a couple of geezers sitting around having a coffee. And I went up to them and started talking to them, and they were very welcoming right away. The level of unapologetic intimacy that they had with each other was almost alien to me, and so touching and generous \u2026 They said, \u201cYou know, we started telling each other, \u2018I love you.\u2019 Like I tell my wife and my kids, I love them. Why can\u2019t I tell my best bud of 60 years [that] I love them? It\u2019s not a sexual thing.\u201d It was just that kind of tenderness and openness and willing to acknowledge how important their friends are.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Do you have many close friendships that you\u2019ve maintained with people that you\u2019ve been in movies with? <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s lots of people I\u2019ve known for a long, long time, and I\u2019m very friendly with them, and I consider them friends, but they are not intimate friends. Most of my friends are [outside of Hollywood]. Anyone who is working on a job, you have a work relationship and you develop a friendship, and most of them don\u2019t, you know, don\u2019t continue on after that.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption>McCarthy\u2019s new book is out March 24. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><strong>It\u2019s such a vulnerable book in some ways \u2014 admitting you\u2019ve lost contact with friends and maybe you haven\u2019t been a great friend. Did you struggle at all with opening up like this? <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You know, I think if you\u2019re not going to show up on the page, how can you ask someone else to show up for you?  All you want is for someone to start reading and nodding and identify.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><em> \u2018 The preceding article may include information circulated by third parties \u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em> \u2018 Some details of this article were extracted from the following source celebrity.land \u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A few years back, Andrew McCarthy was having a conversation with his then 20-year-old son, Sam, who was telling him a funny story about a buddy\u2019s dating life. Then the boy made a comment that struck a nerve. \u201cYou don\u2019t really have any friends, do you, Dad?\u201d In the days that followed, McCarthy \u2014\u00a0who rose [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2340182,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[25174],"tags":[359862,21994,21741,26742,21818,359120],"class_list":["post-2340181","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gossip","tag-andrew-mccarthy","tag-books","tag-entertainment","tag-friends","tag-lifestyle","tag-postscript"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/Andrew-McCarthy-breaks-down-why-men-in-midlife-dont-have.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2340181","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2340181"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2340181\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2340183,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2340181\/revisions\/2340183"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2340182"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2340181"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2340181"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2340181"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}