{"id":2356047,"date":"2026-04-02T21:15:09","date_gmt":"2026-04-02T21:15:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/?p=2356047"},"modified":"2026-04-02T21:15:09","modified_gmt":"2026-04-02T21:15:09","slug":"itll-make-1-billion-and-it-sucks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/itll-make-1-billion-and-it-sucks\/","title":{"rendered":"It&#8217;ll make $1 billion \u2014 and it sucks"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content%2Fuploads%2Fsites%2F2%2F2026%2F04%2Fnewspress-collage-qb67lqele-1775158513610.jpg?quality%3D90%26strip%3Dall%261775144177\" \/><\/p>\n<div>\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-admin\/index.php\">Home<\/a><\/p>\n<div class=\"inline-module inline-module--review alignleft\">\n<div class=\"inline-module__inner\">\n\t\t<span class=\"inline-module--review__eyebrow subsection-heading-semi__label\"><br \/>\n\t\t\tmovie review\t\t<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"inline-module--review__title subsection-heading-semi\">\n\t\t\tTHE SUPER MARIO GALAXY MOVIE \t\t<\/h2>\n<div class=\"rating\">\n<div class=\"rating__stars\">\n<div class=\"rating__star rating__star--filled\"><?php \/**\n * Review star.\n * \n * @package nyp-editor\n *\/\n\n??><\/p>\n<style><![CDATA[\n\t.review-block-star {\n\t\t--review-block-star--empty-color: #585858;\n\t\t--review-block-star--fill-color: #000;\n\t}\n]]><\/style>\n<p><svg class=\"icon-star review-block-star\" stroke=\"var(--review-block-star--fill-color)\" fill=\"var(--review-block-star--empty-color)\" stroke-width=\"0\" viewbox=\"0 0 16 16\" height=\"13px\" width=\"13px\">\n\t<defs>\n\t\t<lineargradient id=\"half-gradient\">\n\t\t\t<stop stop-opacity=\"1\" offset=\"50%\" stop-color=\"var(--review-block-star--fill-color)\"\/>\n\t\t\t<stop stop-opacity=\"1\" offset=\"0%\" stop-color=\"var(--review-block-star--empty-color)\"\/>\n\t\t<\/lineargradient>\n\t<\/defs>\n\t<path d=\"M3.612 15.443c-.386.198-.824-.149-.746-.592l.83-4.73L.173 6.765c-.329-.314-.158-.888.283-.95l4.898-.696L7.538.792c.197-.39.73-.39.927 0l2.184 4.327 4.898.696c.441.062.612.636.283.95l-3.523 3.356.83 4.73c.078.443-.36.79-.746.592L8 13.187l-4.389 2.256z\">\n\t<\/path>\n<\/svg>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"rating__star rating__star--empty\"><?php \/**\n * Review star.\n * \n * @package nyp-editor\n *\/\n\n??><\/p>\n<style><![CDATA[\n\t.review-block-star {\n\t\t--review-block-star--empty-color: #585858;\n\t\t--review-block-star--fill-color: #000;\n\t}\n]]><\/style>\n<p><svg class=\"icon-star review-block-star\" stroke=\"var(--review-block-star--fill-color)\" fill=\"var(--review-block-star--empty-color)\" stroke-width=\"0\" viewbox=\"0 0 16 16\" height=\"13px\" width=\"13px\">\n\t<defs>\n\t\t<lineargradient id=\"half-gradient\">\n\t\t\t<stop stop-opacity=\"1\" offset=\"50%\" stop-color=\"var(--review-block-star--fill-color)\"\/>\n\t\t\t<stop stop-opacity=\"1\" offset=\"0%\" stop-color=\"var(--review-block-star--empty-color)\"\/>\n\t\t<\/lineargradient>\n\t<\/defs>\n\t<path d=\"M3.612 15.443c-.386.198-.824-.149-.746-.592l.83-4.73L.173 6.765c-.329-.314-.158-.888.283-.95l4.898-.696L7.538.792c.197-.39.73-.39.927 0l2.184 4.327 4.898.696c.441.062.612.636.283.95l-3.523 3.356.83 4.73c.078.443-.36.79-.746.592L8 13.187l-4.389 2.256z\">\n\t<\/path>\n<\/svg>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"rating__star rating__star--empty\"><?php \/**\n * Review star.\n * \n * @package nyp-editor\n *\/\n\n??><\/p>\n<style><![CDATA[\n\t.review-block-star {\n\t\t--review-block-star--empty-color: #585858;\n\t\t--review-block-star--fill-color: #000;\n\t}\n]]><\/style>\n<p><svg class=\"icon-star review-block-star\" stroke=\"var(--review-block-star--fill-color)\" fill=\"var(--review-block-star--empty-color)\" stroke-width=\"0\" viewbox=\"0 0 16 16\" height=\"13px\" width=\"13px\">\n\t<defs>\n\t\t<lineargradient id=\"half-gradient\">\n\t\t\t<stop stop-opacity=\"1\" offset=\"50%\" stop-color=\"var(--review-block-star--fill-color)\"\/>\n\t\t\t<stop stop-opacity=\"1\" offset=\"0%\" stop-color=\"var(--review-block-star--empty-color)\"\/>\n\t\t<\/lineargradient>\n\t<\/defs>\n\t<path d=\"M3.612 15.443c-.386.198-.824-.149-.746-.592l.83-4.73L.173 6.765c-.329-.314-.158-.888.283-.95l4.898-.696L7.538.792c.197-.39.73-.39.927 0l2.184 4.327 4.898.696c.441.062.612.636.283.95l-3.523 3.356.83 4.73c.078.443-.36.79-.746.592L8 13.187l-4.389 2.256z\">\n\t<\/path>\n<\/svg>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"rating__star rating__star--empty\"><?php \/**\n * Review star.\n * \n * @package nyp-editor\n *\/\n\n??><\/p>\n<style><![CDATA[\n\t.review-block-star {\n\t\t--review-block-star--empty-color: #585858;\n\t\t--review-block-star--fill-color: #000;\n\t}\n]]><\/style>\n<p><svg class=\"icon-star review-block-star\" stroke=\"var(--review-block-star--fill-color)\" fill=\"var(--review-block-star--empty-color)\" stroke-width=\"0\" viewbox=\"0 0 16 16\" height=\"13px\" width=\"13px\">\n\t<defs>\n\t\t<lineargradient id=\"half-gradient\">\n\t\t\t<stop stop-opacity=\"1\" offset=\"50%\" stop-color=\"var(--review-block-star--fill-color)\"\/>\n\t\t\t<stop stop-opacity=\"1\" offset=\"0%\" stop-color=\"var(--review-block-star--empty-color)\"\/>\n\t\t<\/lineargradient>\n\t<\/defs>\n\t<path d=\"M3.612 15.443c-.386.198-.824-.149-.746-.592l.83-4.73L.173 6.765c-.329-.314-.158-.888.283-.95l4.898-.696L7.538.792c.197-.39.73-.39.927 0l2.184 4.327 4.898.696c.441.062.612.636.283.95l-3.523 3.356.83 4.73c.078.443-.36.79-.746.592L8 13.187l-4.389 2.256z\">\n\t<\/path>\n<\/svg>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<p>Running time: 98 minutes. Rated PG (action, mild violence, and rude humor). In theaters.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p>In a perfect world, fed-up audiences would say, \u201cLet\u2019s-a-go see something else.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Alas, \u201cThe\u00a0Super Mario Galaxy Movie,\u201d the exhausting sequel to 2023\u2019s \u201c<a rel=\"nofollow\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2023\/04\/05\/super-mario-bros-review-nintendo-movie-goes-down-the-drain\/\">The\u00a0Super Mario\u00a0Bros.\u00a0Movie<\/a>,\u201d will make $1 billion just like its awful predecessor did.<\/p>\n<p>That which brings me agony is, unfortunately, hugely profitable.<\/p>\n<p>Apparently it doesn\u2019t matter that all Mario, Luigi and Peach do for a screeching hour and 40 minutes is partake in a tedious chain of overlong chase and fight scenes.<\/p>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module aligncenter\">\n<div class=\"inline-module inline-module--more inline-module--columnist inline-module--more--thirds\">\n<div class=\"inline-module__inner\">\n<h2 class=\"inline-module__heading subsection-heading subsection-heading--single-line \">\n\t\t\tMore From\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"subsection-heading__sub\">Johnny Oleksinski<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/h2>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<p>Who cares that the celebrity voice acting from the likes of Chris Pratt, Charlie Day, Anya Taylor-Joy, Keegan Michael-Key and Brie Larson is so flavorless, the actors somehow sound neither like their characters nor themselves?<\/p>\n<p>Why harp on the barely-there, barely-comprehensible plot (you need the Rosetta Stone to decipher its Wikipedia page) in which Bowser Jr. aims to destroy a bunch of planets I think?<\/p>\n<p>So what if someone named Princess Rosalina (Larson), who has no, um, traits, is inexplicably the mother to hundreds of talking celestial stars called Lumas? Why dwell on the feeble villainy of Baby Bowser (Benny Safdie), an annoying little rascal who kidnaps the princess to steal her magic?<\/p>\n<p>Who are we to judge the lackluster quality of the galaxy\u2019s many locales? A \u201cBlade Runner\u201d-like urban city, a Vegas casino castle and a beehive ruled over by an awkward giant queen are all dull and suffer from lethal monotony.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"> <span class=\"credit\">AP<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Why bother complaining that Mario (Pratt) and Luigi (Day) are cardboard heroes with no real drive beyond generic do-goodery? Even when they enter riding motorcycles through the desert, they\u2019re Bore-ence of Arabia.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the thing: This migraine of a followup from co-directors Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic banks on audiences not minding that they\u2019re being force-fed\u00a0bottom-of-the-Donkey-Kong-barrel\u00a0intellectual-property vomit to sell merch.<\/p>\n<p>And it\u2019s a pretty safe bet that viewers won\u2019t, for they are kids and a curious subset of peculiar adults. A few grownups at my screening applauded the arrival of Fox McCloud (Glen Powell), a pilot who\u2019s basically Han Solo with fur. Those people need professional help.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"> <span class=\"credit\">AP<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>There is nothing to\u00a0like or admire in this\u00a0groaner\u00a0galaxy. The movie has the unconfident, powder-sugar tone of a Disney direct-to-video release, like \u201cThe Lion King 1 \u00bd,\u201d paired with the overeager advertising of an internet popup.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s certainly why cuddly Yoshi\u2019s here this time, voiced by Donald Glover according to the credits. The creators might as well have animated a price tag onto him. \u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Some Super Mario maniacs might call me unreasonable for demanding that a movie based on a video game about adventurous plumbers be something more substantial than a lazily dramatized video game about adventurous plumbers. But endearing characters and focused stories should be a given at an animated film.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"nyp-slideshow-modal-image wp-block-image aligncenter size-large\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\"> <span class=\"credit\">AP<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cSuper Mario Galaxy\u201d hasn\u2019t got any of that. Even Jack Black\u2019s Bowser, an evil turtle who yells, \u201cMario! I was a terrible father!,\u201d isn\u2019t remotely funny this time.<\/p>\n<p>At the end of the first movie, Peach downsized the evil shell dweller and trapped him in a doll\u2019s house as punishment. His newly-mini status, portrait-painting hobby and efforts to restrain his volcanic temper are lame. Poor Black scores a Tenacious F.<\/p>\n<p>None of my whining will make a dent in \u201cMario\u201d\u2019s box-office armor though.<\/p>\n<p>You can all but hear it shouting, \u201cIt\u2019s-a-me! Cash grab!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><em> \u2018 The preceding article may include information circulated by third parties \u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em> \u2018 Some details of this article were extracted from the following source celebrity.land \u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Home movie review THE SUPER MARIO GALAXY MOVIE Running time: 98 minutes. Rated PG (action, mild violence, and rude humor). In theaters. In a perfect world, fed-up audiences would say, \u201cLet\u2019s-a-go see something else.\u201d Alas, \u201cThe\u00a0Super Mario Galaxy Movie,\u201d the exhausting sequel to 2023\u2019s \u201cThe\u00a0Super Mario\u00a0Bros.\u00a0Movie,\u201d will make $1 billion just like its awful predecessor [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2356048,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_social_meta":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[25174],"tags":[356677,304727,21741,304995,21912],"class_list":["post-2356047","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gossip","tag-anya-taylor-joy","tag-chris-pratt","tag-entertainment","tag-movie-reviews","tag-movies"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Itll-make-1-billion-\u2014-and-it-sucks.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2356047","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2356047"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2356047\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2356049,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2356047\/revisions\/2356049"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2356048"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2356047"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2356047"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/celebrity.land\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2356047"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}