E<\/span>aster<\/a> is typically a time when families<\/a> come together to celebrate \u2013 but what if you\u2019re not speaking to your family<\/a>? <\/p>\n For people who are estranged<\/a> from their parents, events like Easter and Christmas can be particularly challenging, bringing up complex feelings of guilt and grief \u2013 especially if they have big families with annual traditions.<\/p>\n There\u2019s no bigger family with more traditions than the royal family<\/a>, and yet this year, neither Princess Beatrice nor Eugenie will be attending the Royal Easter service <\/a>amid the fallout from their parents\u2019 Epstein-related scandals<\/a>. There have been reports that Princess Eugenie has completely cut ties with her father, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor<\/a>, but both sisters have made \u201calternative plans\u201d this Easter as they navigate the outcome from the past few months of news stories about their parents, although they have reportedly been invited to join King Charles at Ascot this year. <\/p>\n At the same time, there are reports that when King Charles travels to the US later this spring, he won\u2019t be meeting Prince Harry, and it\u2019s uncertain whether he will invite Harry to spend the summer at Sandringham<\/a>. There has been a prolonged distance between the father and son since Harry moved to the US and stepped back from royal duties in 2020, even though last year, Harry said he would love a \u201creconciliation\u201d with his family. <\/p>\n Cutting a parent out of one\u2019s life is never an easy decision. \u201cI\u2019ve never met anyone who managed to cut contact and then say that doesn\u2019t matter to me,\u201d says Dr Becca Bland<\/a>, a psychologist specialising in family estrangement. \u201cIt\u2019s a very painful decision for the majority of people and they revisit it all the time, thinking, is it strictly necessary?\u201d<\/p>\n Dr Bland has first-hand experience of going no-contact with parents. She was mainly raised by her grandmother due to both her parents\u2019 addiction problems, and in her early twenties, it became increasingly hard to keep up a relationship with them. \u201cAs much as I tried to change the dynamic, they weren\u2019t willing to talk about it and couldn\u2019t be present to do something different,\u201d she explains. \u201cI love them but I don\u2019t think it\u2019s safe to have a relationship with them.\u201d<\/p>\n Even so, she never set out to completely cut ties with her parents \u2013 it was a \u201cgradual distancing\u201d that came from both sides: \u201cThey realised I wouldn\u2019t be quiet anymore, and I realised they wouldn\u2019t listen.\u201d For the last 17 years, she\u2019s been completely estranged from them and now works to support other people going through the same thing.<\/p>\n \u201cIt\u2019s really hard to cut anybody out of your life that you love and have an attachment to,\u201d she says. \u201cWhat makes it a lot harder with your parents is that society thinks you should have a lifelong unconditional relationship with them and that creates stigma. It\u2019s extremely stressful to have to navigate a society that punishes you for protecting yourself. You feel abnormal even though millions of people are going through it.\u201d <\/p>\n Despite the stigma around family estrangement, it\u2019s something one in two families in the US and one in five families in the UK experience. While it can often seem it\u2019s on the rise as phrases like \u201cno-contact\u201d and \u201ctaking space\u201d are normalised, Dr Bland points out it\u2019s been happening since the beginning of the 19th century, but people simply called it \u201cmoving countries\u201d or \u201ctaking jobs in different towns\u201d and \u201cmarrying out of the family\u201d. <\/p>\n The difference now is we have a more open culture around mental health and generational trauma \u2013 though according to Dr Bland, the consequences of estrangement may be more challenging now due to inequalities with generational wealth that mean younger generations are \u201cmore incentivised to stay in touch with family members as ultimately your survival in British society may rely on inheritance\u201d.<\/p>\n She hopes that recent high-profile examples of estrangement \u2013 from the royal family to Brooklyn Beckham cutting off his parents<\/a> \u2013 will help remove the stigma. \u201cFor Eugenie and Beatrice, they\u2019ve got an incredibly complex situation where they\u2019re facing the fact their father may have abused his privilege,\u201d she adds. \u201cHow do they reconcile their love for him with what he\u2019s accused of? He may have betrayed their trust and confidence, and arguably that of the nation.\u201d<\/p>\n
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