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Aziz Ansari<\/a> offered a wild portrayal of FBI<\/a> Director Kash Patel<\/a> in a surprise appearance during the \u201cSaturday Night Live<\/a>\u201d cold open this weekend. (Watch more in the clip below.)<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n The \u201cParks & Recreation\u201d star crashed a faux White House press conference and did a chest bump with Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth<\/a> (played by Colin Jost<\/a>) before getting behind the lectern to crown himself \u201cthe most effective FBI director this country\u2019s ever had.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n \u201cAnd for those of you saying I\u2019m doing a bad job running the FBI, well, what if I told you this agency is only six weeks away from pinpointing the exact location of Osama Bin Laden,\u201d quipped Ansari\u2019s Patel.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n The mock FBI director proceeded to weigh in on the \u201chistoric nature\u201d of his appointment.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n \u201cI am a trailblazer. I\u2019m the first Indian person to suck at their job,\u201d began the comedian, who got a roar of laughter from the \u201cSNL<\/a>\u201d crowd.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n \u201cEveryone says Indian people are smart, hardworking, incredibly intelligent. I\u2019ve proved, without a shadow of a doubt, that we can be just as incapable and incompetent as the whites,\u201d he continued before giving the faux Hegseth a high five.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Ansari\u2019s Patel was asked about reports that Donald Trump<\/a> is \u201cangry\u201d with him, an apparent nod to the president\u2019s alleged disappointment<\/a> in the FBI director\u2019s beer-guzzling locker room celebration with the U.S. men\u2019s hockey team.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n \u201cHell no! President Trump loves me, everybody loves me, even the correspondents\u2019 dinner shooter said, \u2018Kill everyone but Mr. Patel<\/a>,\u2019\u201d the comedian said. \u201cYou get a shoutout like that in a psycho\u2019s manifesto, you must be doing something right.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n As he continued to face questions, the mock FBI director stressed several things he\u2019s \u201cnever\u201d done on the job.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n \u201cAnd this FBI director has definitely not stood on top of a couch at the VIP room of the couch at the VIP room of TAO Nightclub and Asian Bistro and shouted, \u2018Who wants the nuclear codes? JK! I ain\u2019t got \u2018em!\u2019\u201d he declared.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n