A few years ago, I officiated my best friend Sarah\u2019s wedding. After the deed was done, I danced alongside the other guests, who were mostly in their early 40s, to songs mostly from the early \u201990s, ate a piece of the charming cactus-shaped wedding cake, and fielded the same question over and over again: How did you meet Sarah?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
For many friends, the answer would be fairly straightforward: at school, at work, through a mutual friend, in a book club, or maybe at the dog park. Our answer is more unexpected and, admittedly, unusual: We met because of Tori Amos.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
That was over two decades ago. In addition to Sarah, there were seven other friends at her wedding that I\u2019ve known at least as long. We were brought together by our love of the red-headed piano rock virtuoso decades ago, when we were just barely adults beginning to make our way into the world, and we\u2019ve stayed friends longer than most marriages last. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n
We\u2019re not alone. I could introduce you to dozens (if not hundreds) of other people who have met many of the most important people they know \u2014 their best friends, their partners, their chosen families, their communities \u2014 because of Tori Amos<\/a>. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n I discovered Tori in 1992 when I was 13, which I now recognize as the first of the worst years of my life. Though I was theoretically in the closet, my queerness was obvious and uncontrollable and exploded out of me whenever I opened my mouth or moved, for which I was punished by most of the people around me.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Then, one afternoon after school, in between asking God to make me straight and fantasizing about the least painful way to kill myself, I saw the video for \u201cCrucify<\/a>\u201d from \u201cLittle Earthquakes<\/a>,\u201d Tori\u2019s debut solo album, on MTV, and everything turned upside down. <\/p>\n<\/div>\n Tori, a piano prodigy who began playing when she was just 2.5 years old, was singing about setting herself free from the suspicion and scrutiny and damnation that came with daring to want something different \u2014 and more \u2015 than what the world thought she deserved to have or be.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Though, in many ways, our experiences couldn\u2019t have been more dissimilar, her songs spoke to me about my own life in a language I\u2019d never heard before but instantly understood. It was like every light in every gloomy room in my body suddenly came on and for the first time I could begin to envision a version of myself emerging from the shame and the sadness I\u2019d been submerged in for so long. Maybe I didn\u2019t have to choose between despair or dying after all. Maybe there was another way.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n![\"The](\"https:\/\/img.huffingtonpost.com\/asset\/646671cc2500001f009e6e9e.png?ops=crop_6_37_730_570%2Cscalefit_720_noupscale&format=webp)
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