1998’s Small Soldiers is one of those breezy summer blockbusters that are typecast to perfection. Its basic story, while not without its charm, is fine on paper. Everyone here knew the assignment, making it one of the most fun family movies to come out of the late 90s.
A classic good-versus-evil story, Small Soldiers is one of the best CGI-enhanced, family-friendly action comedies about guerilla warfare you could find. Though I can’t say this very specific subgenre has much competition, that’s beside the point. This movie is pure fun, and that’s all you need to know about it.
The Small Soldiers Setup
Small Soldiers centers on two lines of action figures created by GloboTech Industries, a company that specializes in military weaponry. Having just purchased the Heartland Toy Company, GloboTech’s slimy CEO, Gil Mars (Denis Leary), demands they produce toys that are “more than just toys.”
Heartland developers Larry Benson (Jay Mohr) and Irwin Wayfair (David Cross) are tasked with launching two new products: Larry’s Commando Elite troops and Irwin’s Gorgonites. Wanting to beat Irwin to the punch, Larry orders advanced military chips to give the toys sentience, allowing them to wage a literal war against each other.
Meanwhile, Alan Abernathy (Gregory Smith), a teenager working at his father Stuart’s (Kevin Dunn) vintage toy shop, learns about the new toys and convinces delivery driver Joe (Dick Miller) to “misplace” a few boxes so he can help the store make some money. Almost immediately, the Commando Elites, led by Major Chip Hazard (Tommy Lee Jones), prepare to exterminate the peaceful Gorgonites, led by Archer (Frank Langella).
Alan tries to get close to Christy Fimple (Kirsten Dunst), the daughter of his technology-obsessed neighbor Phil Fimple (Phil Hartman). Alan’s not exactly known for his good behavior, though, and his reputation complicates things because nobody takes him seriously. Once he realizes the small soldiers are dangerous and destructive, it’s already too late, and the adults around him are too distracted to notice until the chaos hits home.
Typecast To Perfection
The main reason Small Soldiers works so well is that every character feels like a fictionalized version of their real-life counterparts. Tommy Lee Jones delegates loudly, David Cross folds under pressure, Kirsten Dunst is the perfect girl next door, Phil Hartman is the slimy, passive-aggressive neighbor who’d cut down a tree for better satellite reception, and Denis Leary nails the smug corporate jerk. Every actor is exactly where they belong, and it’s hard to imagine the movie working with anyone else in their places.
The action sequences in Small Soldiers hold up shockingly well for a 1998 production. Shot using puppets enhanced with CGI, the Commando Elites and Gorgonites practically leap off the screen as they’re blown up, dismembered, and reassembled, while the humans caught in the middle stare in disbelief while trying to restore the peace.
A Blast For The Entire Family
I saw Small Soldiers in theaters when I was 10 years old and wore out the VHS when it hit home video. Revisiting it as an adult, I expected it to feel dated, but it’s just as fun now as it was back then. Hearing Phil Hartman’s playfully condescending voice echo through my house instantly took me back to when The Simpsons was still considered essential viewing.
Having since come to appreciate the rest of the cast’s broader body of work only makes the movie better. Back then, they were just characters to me. Watching it now, it feels like everyone involved was simply having the time of their lives playing a slightly exaggerated version of themselves, which only adds to the entertainment value.
If you loved Small Soldiers as a kid, it’s absolutely worth revisiting as an adult. And if it’s your first time seeing it, it’s a fun, action-packed, inoffensive popcorn flick the whole family can enjoy.
Small Soldiers is currently streaming on Paramount+.
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