The moment we’ve all been waiting for is finally here: Jezebel’s extremely prestigious list of the most impeccably dressed red-carpet walkers at the 98th Oscars (and, of course, the six most disappointing ones).
The ceremony started an hour ago, so, without further ado…
Arden Cho in Miss Sohee Couture
It’d be hard to fight off demons in sleeves like these—but I think no Demon would dare approach someone in such dramatic, marvelous sleeves. I’ve long believed people should wear more capes, but now I’m thinking we’re not wearing enough puffy-arm accessories with long, embroidered trains that could double as ropes for a quick window escape should a demon show up.
Demi Moore in Gucci
There’s no doubt in my mind that this is an homage to Miley Cyrus’s “I Can’t Be Tamed,” a perfect 2011 song and music video in which Miley sings about being “like a puzzle” except “all of my pieces are jagged,” while cloaked in scales and feathers as a rare captured bird. I had zero notes then, and I have zero notes now.
Chloé Zhao in Gabriela Hearst
Is she a crow granted one fabulous night as a human? A wife who murdered her husband but has to act like she’s in mourning? Valek—the horrifying demon nun from The Conjuring series—finally giving itself a night out on the town?! I love this so much, and it also makes me mad that—for a night supposedly celebrating the best actors and actresses—not everyone is having this much fun.
Jessie Buckley in Chanel
I am such a sucker for a pink-and-red combination. But what’s more, this specific gown gives me the image of your stomach finally returning to normal after downing half a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. Successfully getting rid of a stomachache is arguably one of the best feelings in the world, and I can’t believe how beautifully Chanel was able to capture that sensation.
Rose Byrne in Dior
This is as elegant as Zhao’s dress was dramatic, bold, and exciting.
Abby Wombach and Glennon Doyle
Fuck yes fuck ICE.
Wunmi Mosaku in Louis Vuitton
When I say I gasped—if I ever walk a red carpet, I want to look exactly like a sophisticated mermaid emerging from a sea of emeralds.
Renate Reinsve in Louis Vuitton
This dress feels like watching a pair of scissors effortlessly glide across a looooong sheet of wrapping paper. I’m both soothed and stunned.
Teyana Taylor in Chanel
On almost anyone else, this might look like the result of a viral TikTok where someone wrapped themselves in tape and fell into a bucket of fabric scraps just to see what would happen. But on Teyana Taylor, it looks like every sequin, thread, and string was chosen by the universe to merge into a dazzling number that screams, “let’s yassify the zebra print.”
Kate Hudson in Giorgio Armani Privé
I imagine Kate has spent most of her career trying to one-up her generation-defining yellow How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days dress—and here, she gets very, very close.
Jayme Lawson in Loewe
This makes me want to be famous just so I can sign my autograph in loopy, sparkly, royal-blue cursive.
Elle Fanning in Givenchy
This looks like the dream wedding dress of the mean girl from high school who got married at 24 and was divorced by 28. But for Elle—who way too often goes for an annoying Disney-princess vibe—I’m shocked to say it’s working for me.
Anne Hathaway in Valentino Haute Couture
Anne did a brilliant thing by winning the Oscar in 2013 in that really bad pale-pink Prada—ensuring that everything she’s worn since is considered an absolute home run.
Gracie Abrams in Chanel
There’s a lot (I think) you could say about Gracie Abrams—but you can’t say she doesn’t have great fucking abs.
Amy Madigan in Dior
She looks funky and comfortable—what more could you ask for?
Barbie Ferreira in GapStudio by Zac Posen
I wish I could get a boat and go sailing through this dress.
Mikey Madison in Dior
OK, sorry to say, but this is seven million times better than what she wore to win Best Actress last year.
The Most Disappointing
Not everyone can win an Oscar—and not everyone can make Jezebel’s best-dressed list.
Emma Stone in Louis Vuitton
To be fair, she probably knows she’s not winning her third Best Actress Oscar tonight—and that’s all I feel comfortable saying about this look right now.
Nicole Kidman in Chanel
These colors, wtf. I guess everyone needs one night off from slaying.
Jacob Elordi in Bottega Veneta
Why wouldn’t he just show up dressed like Healthcliff? 🙁
Chase Infiniti in Louis Vuitton
A gorgeous color for a dress that looks like an extended version of what a lot of us millennials wore to our 8th-grade semi-formals—not even high school, middle school.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Giorgio Armani Privé
Why is anyone ever wearing cream?!?!?!?! Are Gwyneth and Kidman trying to troll us?
Timothée Chalamet in Givenchy
This looks like the outfit (and beard) of someone crashing out over possibly losing the Best Actor Oscar because they dissed the opera and ballet. If there were ever a moment for a shocking backless red halter, I’d think it’d be the Oscars.
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