Bringing Up Bates star Michaela Bates Keilen opened up about how she deals with sibling “drama” and “rifts” in a family of 19 children.
“You just love unconditionally,” Bates, 36, insisted in a vlog posted on Saturday, June 27. “You may not agree but you’re friends and you’re family.”
Michaela’s younger sister, Katie Bates Clark, recently confirmed that she has lost family relationships over an undisclosed childhood event.
While Michaela did not directly address Katie’s situation in her vlog, she spoke more broadly about how she manages disputes within the Bates clan.
“There’s so many things in life with family that you have different opinions or different viewpoints. I think it’s one of those things where you have your family and your family is forever. … I just think, as adults, things happen. Hurts happen,” she said. “You forgive. You move on. At the end of the day, you just have each other’s back.”
Her husband, Brandon Timothy Keilen, interjected, arguing that it becomes “very easy to get involved aggressively” when family rifts pop up.
“It’s easy to fall into that, “ Brandon, 36, added. “I don’t mean to over-spiritualize this but it doesn’t hurt to pray … If I’m not part of the scenario, God, give me the self-control to stay out of it because all I’ll do is make it worse. That’s a hard thing to do. … This is not exclusively family. Wherever there’s people, you’re going to have these issues. For my part, what am I supposed to be doing before God and, God, give me the grace to do what I’m supposed to do or not do because I’m not supposed to.”
Michaela acknowledged how important it is for each family member to recognize that they may “need to ask forgiveness” during moments of high tension.
Michaela Bates Keilen and Brandon Timothy Keilen Courtesy YouTube / UpTV
“Sometimes we say something that was misunderstood or we said something in the heat of the moment that we regret. We need to apologize,” she noted. “Other times, we need to give grace because someone else said something that they regret.”
She added, “Family is a gift and for so much of my life, I just took it for granted because I had a great family and I didn’t think much about it.”
The couple were also asked how they were handling some family members moving out of Tennessee. (Katie and her husband, Travis Clark, recently moved to Texas following Travis’ cheating scandal earlier this year.)
“This is such a bittersweet question. It’s definitely hard missing family,” Michaela admitted. “At the same time, we started our marriage off in Chicago and we were the ones who were far away. … I think, just the support and the love that we felt from both of our families and the encouragement of, ‘Just be where God wants you to be and we are here for you,’ it just gave us such peace and we felt so loved with that encouragement.”
The Bringing Up Bates star continued, “Now, with siblings … who are just moving all over the country, I think it’s one of those things where I want to be the supportive sibling. I know you’re exactly where God wants you. And, yes, I’m going to miss you, and, yes, it’s going to be hard, and, yes, there’s nieces and nephews involved where we miss them too, but we’re in a very gifted time of life where there’s technology … where we can keep up.”
Michaela and Brandon tied the knot in Knoxville, Tennessee, in August 2015. They are foster parents to two boys.
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