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Let’s get one thing straight before we start: I have a deep and abiding appreciation for the Sandman. In some weird way, I probably wouldn’t be typing words on a laptop for my supper if I’d never heard him bellowing about his neighbor’s dog’s clit on They’re All Gonna Laugh At You. I was 13 and almost fell out of my friend Clint’s treehouse on Dinuba Avenue. I love Adam Sandler, both for the buffoon that he once was and for the voice of America’s tired dads that he has since somehow become, despite being unfathomably rich and successful. It’s amazing what looking like two toddlers in a trenchcoat can do.
That being said, I think we all understand that Sandler’s characteristic and often admirable lack of effort often hits both ways: refreshing and unassuming on the one hand or half-assed and underwhelming on the other. Happy Gilmore 2, Sandler’s 30-years-later sequel to Happy Gilmore (which presumes that Sandler’s next three movies after Happy Gilmore weren’t already spiritual Happy Gilmore sequels) ends up being about an even split between cute-lazy and lazy-lazy. It tends to get better as it goes, gradually lulling you into a general acceptance of its utter disregard for world-building until you start viewing it as it was clearly intended: as a series of 90-second sketches of varying quality starring celebrities. God, so many celebrities.
Which is to say: Happy Gilmore 2 feels exactly like a movie produced by the make-a-wish foundation for a terminally-ill 58-year-old. “What if we made a movie starring you and all of your favorite PGA Tour golfers? Would you like that, Adam, huh??? With Rory and Brooks and Bryson and Colin Morikawa, and a cameo by Paige Spiranac??? Well guess what, it’s your lucky day, fella!”
It feels like every single human that Sandler has ever collaborated with or celebrity who ever shared with him their own Clint’s Treehouse story gets a part in Happy Gilmore 2, alongside cameos by every recognizable golfer alive, and a few random podcasters and NFL guys thrown in for good measure.
The celebrity acting in turn ranges from surprisingly effective (John Daly) to please never do this again (Rory McIlroy), but the washed dad wish fulfillment factor is actually one of the more charming things about Happy 2. The vicarious joy of watching some schlubby dude’s most banal-est dreams come true is a big part of the Sandler appeal these days. Easily the most effective bit in Happy Gilmore 2 is the age appropriate update of Happy going to his “happy place”—which used to feature a sexy babe in lacy lingerie and two pitchers of beer, but now sees 58-year-old Happy taking a solo dump with no one bothering him while watching Instagram reels. Lol, it me.
Rob Schneider, meanwhile, takes over for the little person riding the tricycle, delivering his famous “you can do it!” catchphrase, all of which feels like a major blown comedic opportunity. Rob Schneider should’ve just played a fantasy version of Rob Schneider. That would’ve been the perfect modern update. “Happy! I’m not a reactionary anymore! I’m on my way to get my kids their measles shots right now!”
“What?? Rob, that’s great!” (*fantasy fades out*)
What’s more relatable to aging Americans than having an old friend who’s been driven insane by the algorithm?
In general, the Happy Gilmore 2 bits that flow naturally from Sandler’s current reality are much better than the all the attempts at callbacks. And I’m pretty sure we would’ve recognized those callbacks without the actual flashback footage from the original movie that the sequel includes at least 10 times (which mostly only tends to highlight how much worse everything looks now with digital and streaming). But hey, it’s Netflix. Netflix and Adam Sandler are a match made in half-assed streaming movie heaven.
And the golfer cameos, uneven and overstuffed as they are, at least make sense. Why the fuck is Travis Kelce here? Discount Reddit Gronk gets more screen time in the first half of the movie than Christopher McDonald (Shooter McGavin), who’s been campaigning for this sequel for 30 years now (and yes I am a bitter Niners fan, thank you for asking. George Kittle has always been funnier than Travis Kelce). Also, is Post Malone contractually obligated to show up anywhere there are celeb cameos? He’s becoming Josh Gad with face tattoos. And if he’s going to be so ubiquitous, maybe he could try doing something besides smirking? Just spitballing here.
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