It’s safe to say that Ryan Murphy’s new show “All’s Fair” is getting a lot of attention, and not in a good way. After it debuted at 0% on Rotten Tomatoes, its rating on the review aggregator has miraculously jumped to 5% (bleak) as of this writing, and I myself wrote a screed right here at /Film about the show trying and failing to convince the world at large that Kimberly Noel Kardashian is an actor. So, what does the show’s eight-time Oscar nominated co-star Glenn Close think about all this?
In an Instagram post, the 78-year-old actor posted a hand-drawn picture of all of the main characters, including her lawyer Dina Standish alongside fellow “attorneys” Liberty Ronson (Naomi Watts), Allura Grant (Kardashian), the central divorce firm’s researcher Emerald Greene (Niecy Nash-Betts), assistant and future lawyer Milan (Teyana Taylor, fresh off her bravura turn in “One Battle After Another”), and that group’s legal nemesis, Carrington Lane (Sarah Paulson). (Close also tagged Kardashian, Watts, Nash-Betts, Taylor, and Paulson in the post.) Without a caption, the drawing simply shows the characters above a pot containing, per its scribbled “label” of sorts, “critic-bunny stew.”
This, for the uninitiated — a group that apparently did include Kardashian until semi-recently, and I’ll circle back to that anecdote shortly — is an obvious reference to Close’s iconic turn in “Fatal Attraction.” As a reminder, the hit 1987 psychosexual thriller casts Close as Alex Forrest, a woman scorned by her married lover Dan Gallagher (Michael Douglas) who simply “won’t be ignored” and, in the process of refusing to let Dan ignore her, boils his family’s pet bunny in a pot on their stove. In any case, Close has made her feelings about negative reviews for “All’s Fair” quite clear, but do the complaints about Murphy’s latest outing hold water?
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What is All’s Fair about, and why exactly is it so bad?
Dina smiling at someone in an office on All’s Fair – Disney/Ser Baffo
Yes. The negative reviews of “All’s Fair” are, honestly, correct. It’s not, by any metric, a well-written or even particularly well-performed show; Kim Kardashian is blatantly terrible, and even veteran performers like Glenn Close, Sarah Paulson, Niecy Nash-Betts, and Naomi Watts seem hamstrung by the abjectly ridiculous dialogue they’re forced to scream at one another. I’ll back up for a second, though. What is “All’s Fair” even about?
The series focuses on Grant, Ronson, and Greene, a firm of female divorce lawyers — who only cater to female clients — run by Allura Grant, Liberty Ronson, and Emerald Greene. (Close’s Dina Standish is more of a mentor figure after working with all three of those women at a previous firm.) Not only is all of the legal stuff on this show probably utterly incorrect, despite Kardashian’s real life credentials of sorts, but the dialogue is bizarre, profanity-laden to the point where I can’t even really quote it, and baffling. An example: in the pilot, Allura’s football player husband Chase Munroe (Matthew Noszka) gifts her a diamond once owned by movie star Elizabeth Taylor for their anniversary and professes his love. In the couple’s very next scene, Chase is announcing that he wants a divorce because he hasn’t been happy in a long time. What? (This, incidentally, involves Close in the action, because Dina becomes Allura’s divorce lawyer.)
Close, Watts, Paulson, Nash-Betts, and Teyana Taylor are all far too good for this show. (Sorry, Kim.) Still, a different but technically connected Hulu series at least revealed that Close is having a grand old time making “All’s Fair” in the first place.
The Kardashians basically proves that Glenn Close is at least having fun on All’s Fair
Liberty, Emerald, Dina, and Allura on a private plane drinking champagne and laughing in All’s Fair – Disney/Ser Baffo
Speaking of “Fatal Attraction,” Kim Kardashian’s other Hulu show, “The Kardashians,” is airing alongside “All’s Fair,” and it’s providing some legitimately interesting behind-the-scenes tidbits about the show’s central cast. Specifically, in the second episode of season 7, Kardashian matriarch and infamous momager Kris Jenner — who, naturally, is an executive producer on “All’s Fair” — decides to visit her daughter on set and brings up Glenn Close’s role in “Fatal Attraction,” remarking that she’s seen the movie so many times. That’s when everyone, including Close herself, learns that Kardashian has never seen the film, at which point Jenner decides that the entire cast should go hang out at her palatial California estate and have a watch party.
This culminates in a “scene” where the cast does, in fact, gather at Jenner’s house for martinis and a watch party, with Close sharing the story of how she was performing on Broadway and still flew to Los Angeles to audition for “Fatal Attraction,” ultimately booking the role. (Also, they’re all in pajamas.) Between that and literal behind-the-scenes footage of Close scolding Kardashian and Sarah Paulson for ruining takes by laughing, only to laugh herself, “The Kardashians” makes it quite clear that Close is having a grand old time making “All’s Fair.” And honestly? Good for her! She’s worked pretty hard! She deserves to faff around on a silly show for a little bit — or, I guess, two silly shows!
“All’s Fair” and “The Kardashians” are, appropriately, both streaming on Hulu — thanks, I’m sure, to our lord and savior Kris Jenner.
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