I became a dad at 58 – it’s not too old to be a father

While there were times in my younger years when I would have liked to become a father, there’s no way it would have worked because of my career as a film director. My job involved a lot of travelling and working anti-social hours.

I had my own production company and worked with the likes of Pink Floyd and Sir Paul McCartney. At one point, I ran Elstree Studios. I was always busy, so having children back then would have been very difficult as I was never at home. A lot of marriages in my industry didn’t last.

I was with my partner, Joan, for 20 years, having got together when I was 36 and she was 57. Sadly, she had a massive stroke and I was her carer for five years. I later went on to marry my second wife when she was 28 and I was 56.

Being in my late 50s when I became a dad, I didn’t have to go to work. Michael was born when I was 58 and Rosie when I was 61. My family had moved to Northern Portugal by then, where I still live. By this point, I was lucky enough to be financially comfortable – I realise this isn’t the case for everybody.

The number of babies born to fathers over the age of 60 went up by 14.2% in 2024 compared to the year before, according to ONS figures, and this doesn’t surprise me. In some cases, like with me, older men may have better financial circumstances and be less tied to their career than younger men.

Having time to raise young children

When the children were small, my now ex-wife who was half my age, was running her own business, and I was able to put time and effort into raising the kids. I would take them to the nursery school in the town where we lived and would often take the neighbours’ children too.

Once Michael started school, I would run through the times tables with him on the way there. I’d take him to tennis lessons and we’d also play football and cricket, as well as going swimming and fishing together.

Mistaken for their grandfather

I was lucky that I didn’t find the physical demands of having young children too much. I have plenty of energy and I’ve always managed on a few hours’ sleep a night anyway.

When I married, my sister asked, “Can’t you find anyone your own age?” But I’ve never had any judgemental comments about becoming a father at 58. To the people who ran the local nursery school, I was just the strange old English guy with two young children who couldn’t speak much Portuguese. In a place where most people are holiday-makers, people just accepted me. I think guys are older in Portugal when they get married anyway.

The only difficult time was once being mistaken for the children’s grandfather. We were on a fairground ride in the UK and when the man who ran it mentioned me being their grandad, the kids had a quick answer – “No, he’s our dad and our grandad (my ex-wife’s father) is six months younger.” To be honest, I found it funny.

I’ve never noticed the children being embarrassed about me being an old bloke either. Their biggest pleasure seems to be pushing me in the swimming pool. A couple of years back they made me watch Clarkson’s Farm, telling me that’s what I would be like if I ran a farm, i.e. making tons of mistakes and then joking about it. The nature of my work has made me used to being adaptable. I hope the kids are like that too.

Providing an inheritance

I’ve always socialised with people younger than myself. I’ve got friends in Portugal whose children are the same age as my kids. I may be a generation older than the other parents around me, but we all get on well. Age doesn’t matter. It never did when I was with Joan, who was 21 years older than me.

Maybe one advantage of children having an older dad is that we’ll die in time to provide money for them to buy a house when they need one! While I have no major regrets, I do wish I’d become a father earlier as I would have loved to have more children – they’re great to have around, although it’s not so easy when they become grumpy teenagers.

Facing the future

Since my ex-wife left and moved the children back to the UK when they were 11 and eight, it’s sad that I don’t see them more often. Michael is doing a mathematics degree, and I do worry about what he’ll do afterwards. Rosie wants to be a Formula One engineer, and I’d love to see her progress. I take great pleasure in their enthusiasm and excitement about the future.

I’m conscious of the fact that I may not be alive when significant things happen in their lives, though.

I hope I get to see my grandchildren one day, but if my children follow my example of having children late in life, the reality is I won’t be here.

I know some people say it’s selfish to have children later in life, but I don’t think it is. In Portugal, everyone around here knows Michael and Rosie are my children and they don’t bat an eyelid about my age.

When I took the children to stay in a youth hostel in the Peak District, which was full of mums and dads cooking with their kids and chatting, there was me, this old bloke with my two kids, and hardly anyone spoke to us. So, I guess they found it weird.

Keeping me young

My children have impacted my career choices in the last few years. Firstly, I wrote a book for children called Freedom Cats that I’m hoping to get published.

Then, when Michael was 11, he suggested I do something to tackle climate change. Finding out that the UK has the most heat-inefficient housing in the world, I founded CCETC.co, a TV channel that demonstrates how to make houses energy-efficient, helping save both money and the planet. It’s my children who inspired me to do this. They have kept me up-to-date on what matters to young people.

They’re not ashamed of me being an old dad either – in fact, a friend mentioned after a big lunch with friends how Michael seems to love listening to my film directing stories, so I guess I’m not too much of an embarrassment.

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