Reddit user u/winkeltwinkle posted in r/AskReddit: “Straight men of Reddit who is the hottest man?” Straight men didn’t hold back, sharing how far they would go for some of the hottest male celebrities in Hollywood. Here are some of the best responses:
1. “I’m not gay, ok, I’m not. But if Chris Evans’s Captain America needed to get off, like, to save the world from Hydra or something, and I was the only one around? Well, I’m a patriot, dammit! I’d let him finish inside me.”
Marvel / Disney
“That scene where he caught the bad guy’s weapon and emerged out of the shadows with that BEARD. Oh my.”
“He got me in Infinity War when he came back to help Vision and Wanda in Edinburgh. With the beard….lawd.”
2. “I would totally go gay for Hugh Jackman. Good looking, great actor, great singer, great dancer, and seems like an all-around cool dude with a great sense of humor.”
20th Century Fox
3. “Look, I’m as straight as they come. Married with two kids and everything. But all I’m saying is, if Henry Cavill wants to tie me down and whisper the specs to his new PC tower in his Geralt voice, who am I to say no?”
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Netflix, Warner Bros., Paramount Pictures
“He looks good, has that deep husky voice (Geralt style), is very athletic, and just a proper decent dude. As much as I love my Mrs and have never been with/or wanted to be with a man. If I’m in the woods with a fire & Henry Cavill, you better believe it’s going full Brokeback.”
“Yeah, Cavill is a nerd man’s dream. If I were to get it on with him, I would. But also afterwards, we sit down and paint Warhammer minis. I mean we can do that without the sex, I think he is pretty hetero from what I’ve heard. Also loves dogs. Anyways, Henry,if you’re ever in Berlin, hmu!”
4. “I’m married with three kids, but Timothy Olyphant can pound my ass anytime.”
TBS, FX
“I feel like Timothy Olyphant has that panty-dropping grin most of us regular dudes can only envy.”
5. “I’m a straight man, but like, seeing the first photo of Ryan Gosling as Ken in Barbie got me good.”
Warner Bros. Pictures
“I went to Barbie for Margot Robbie, I stayed for Ryan Gosling.”
“Middle-aged straight dude here. Ryan Gosling is dreamy.”
6. “I’m surprised I haven’t seen Ewan McGregor mentioned. He looks good, has a Scottish accent, and seems genuinely nice and wholesome.”
20th Century Fox
“I’d drag my balls through broken glass for two miles just to have him flick some debris off my shirt. I’d be so good to him.”
7. “1980s Harrison Ford. Dude, Temple of Doom, Indiana Jones was a sexy mother fucker. Coming from a completely straight dude. Guy was handsome as fuck.”
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Paramount Pictures, 20th Century Fox, Paramount Pictures / Via tumblr.com
“Indiana Jones is good and all, but have you seen him in Working Girl? As a straight man, I swooned.”
8. “Paul Newman is the one where I’m like, ‘yeah, I can see that for sure.’ I watched Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid with my ex gf, and she was swooning, and I just had to say, yeah, fair.'”
20th Century Fox
9. “I’m a straight man, and Brad Pitt topless on the roof during Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. My word.”
Sony Pictures Releasing
“Let me give you a scenario. I’m at a beach cabana. Brad Pitt comes up and tries to kiss me. I would definitely resist at first, but if he were persistent, I would probably give in a little bit, depending on how persistent he was…”
10. “I would call Pedro Pascal Daaaaaddy, and he wouldn’t even need to ask. 100% straight… I think. Don’t ask if he’s around, and Brad Pitt is down the hall.”
HBO, A24
11. “Every man will momentarily hesitate when scheduling a haircut, because deep down he feels like if he let his hair grow just a little longer, he could look exactly like Viggo Mortensen’s Aragorn.”
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New Line Cinema
“That scene where he bursts through the doors at Helm’s Deep in slow motion 👀 Sheeeeesh….”
“Well, as a straight guy I also think Legolas was pretty dreamy so there’s that.”
12. “A youthful Matthew McConaughey. For years, I thought it was bi because I found him so handsome.”
Gramercy Pictures, Paramount Pictures
13. “Robert Redford in his younger years. That guy had an annoyingly winning smile that just reminded us all of what we’ll never be.”
Paramount Pictures, Columbia Pictures
14. “I never quite got what women found in Tom Hiddleston when I only knew him from his role as Loki. Then I watched Crimson Peak.“
Universal Pictures
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15. “The dance sequence in Ex Machina, my mouth just dropped open because sexy was just oozing off the screen. It’s that ‘I don’t give a shit’ way Oscar Isaac dances, but it’s still so perfectly executed and hot.”
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WIRED, A24
“Any Oscar Isaac for me! I would take dragged through a hedge backwards twice Inside Llewyn Davis Oscar Isaac.”
16. “Not gay, but there’s nothing sexier than Michael Fassbender as Magneto. He always managed to lift my iron every time I saw him.”
20th Century Fox
“The F in Fassbender is silent.”
17. “Josh Hartnett is ridiculous in Penny Dreadful. I’ve never been interested in any cock besides my own, but he’s a beautiful man. He’s just so enjoyable to look at and has a really pleasant voice. He’s like walking art, or a sunset with a face.”
Showtime
“Watching Penny Dreadful, I’d get depressed when I’d go to take a piss and catch my reflection in the mirror. After staring at Josh Hartnett for hours, my standards were impossibly high.”
18. “If Idris Elba kissed me, I’d grow a uterus right then and there. I’d bear his child. I wouldn’t complain once through all 9 months. As I’m pushing out his 13 lb baby, I’d stare into his eyes and tell him he’s the most beautiful person in the world.”
Universal Pictures, NBC
“Idris Elba from The Office era could kiss me, and I don’t think I’d fight back.”
19. “As a straight married man with two kids, I stand tall and pee standing up, revel in sports, tinker with cars, and wield BBQ skills that are the envy of the neighborhood. But let me tell you, Keanu Reeves is one fine man. Hands down, no question about it.”
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Lionsgate, Fine Line Features
20. “I passed David Beckham on the street in Manhattan and remember thinking he made everyone around him in this huge city look ugly.”
21. “Dude, yeah. I’m not gay at all. I have three kids and love my wife. But when I was a kid, I’d always tell my mom Sam Elliot was a handsome son of a bitch.”
United Artists
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22. “Tom Hardy in Taboo was the first and last time a man has made my insides feel tingly.”
FX
23. “Jake Gyllenhaal, especially with a beard. I want him to look into my soul and caress me. I want to feel like Heath Ledger felt while filming Brokeback Mountain. I love my wife and I am very straight, but that man is gorgeous.”
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Focus Features, Fox Searchlight Pictures
24. “My 62-year-old, heterosexual, married dad and I were just talking yesterday about Cillian Murphy, his ‘Ocean Eyes’ and how gorgeous he is generally. My dad was the one telling me how his coworkers call him Ocean Eyes because if they look in his eyes, it’s hard not to get lost at sea lol.”
Warner Bros. Pictures
25. “I’ve been in the same room with Jimmy Garoppolo and even as a straight guy I was somewhat mesmerized. It’s like he’s not completely human. Created by AI to induce doubt in straight guys.”
26. “Jason Mamoa can pick me up and put me anywhere he wants, if I am allowed to touch him. I would go full gay just for him and only for him. This dude is everything I need in life.”
HBO, Warner Bros.
Let’s open it up for all genders. Which celeb would you go gay or lesbian for? Tell us in comments, or if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can use the form below:
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