Karamo Brown details relapse 12 years into sobriety: ‘I struggled with not facing my demons’

Key Points

• Karamo Brown said he relapsed after 12 years of sobriety while filming Queer Eye season 3 in 2018.

• Brown said challenging relationship dynamics with his Fab Five castmates led him to break his sobriety after 12 years.

• “It felt shameful because I was teaching people that they could be better, but in my own life I was trapped,” Brown shared in a new interview.

Karamo Brown has revealed why he relapsed after 12 years of being sober while filming Queer Eye season 3.

The Karamo talk show host shared in a new interview that while he and his Fab Five castmates — Antoni Porowski, Jonathan Van Ness, Tan France, and Bobby Berk — appeared cordial on screen, a toxic environment was boiling behind the scenes. Brown alleged that bullying and negative behavior from castmates, as well as executives and members of production, were what led him to break his sobriety in 2018.

“I struggled with not facing my demons and the things I was going through on Queer Eye,” Brown said in an interview with Entertainment Weekly‘s sister publication, PEOPLE. “It was: ‘I’m stressed from work, meet me at a bar for a drink.’ A drink would lead to weed, cocaine, pills. I wasn’t coping right, but I pretended like I was. I was so broken.”

“I was depressed,” he told the outlet. “It felt shameful because I was teaching people that they could be better, but in my own life I was trapped.”

Per PEOPLE, a statement from the show’s production companies, ITV America and Scout Productions, said they “strongly disagree with any characterization that concerns raised … were ignored, dismissed or allowed to continue unchecked.”

The Real World alum previously shared in his memoir Karamo: My Story of Embracing Purpose, Healing, and Hope that when he learned he had a son, Jason, he made the decision to get sober. Brown soon gained custody of Jason and eventually adopted his younger half-brother, Christian.

“As a parent, I’m always thinking, ‘Did I make the right decision of taking custody, bringing him into my life, exposing him to all facets of my world?’ What I realized is that everything I did has turned him into a loving, supportive, exceptional young man. And vice versa; he learned that he had an influence on me becoming a better man,” Karamo told EW in 2019.

Despite the positive impact of his son, Brown said drama with his Queer Eye costars — which at one point made his mother, Charmaine, cry after she heard costars speaking negatively about him on set — led him to use substances again.

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“After a couple of beers, I could smoke weed with you all night and not be able to function,” he said. “I might take a pill with you and be rolling and thinking that was euphoria when it was not. I might do cocaine to keep the party going and make me feel connected when it did not. I try to teach people now that it’s not the substance you’re struggling with, it’s the feelings underneath that you haven’t focused on.”

A scary wake-up call from a year-and-a-half ago broke the cycle for Brown, who is now in a 12-step program and regularly attending meetings. According to the reality star, a guest had a negative reaction to a substance that was taken in his home.

“Since that day, I’ve not had a single drink, cocktail — nothing,” Brown shared. “I want to encourage people that there’s a side to not having to drink that is so fun.”

Another reason to stay committed to his sobriety is the fact that Brown’s son, Jason, is expecting his first child this fall.

“With this journey I’ve been on, I’m making sure that I’m healed not just for me, but also for them,” the grandfather-to-be said. “There’s now going to be two generations looking at me,” Brown said.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges, emotional distress, substance use problems, or just needs to talk, call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org 24/7.

Read the original article on Entertainment Weekly