Louis Tomlinson Says He’ll ‘Never Really Accept’ Liam Payne’s Death

The singer — who lost his mom in 2016 and his sister in 2019, before Payne passed away last October — opens up about navigating grief, while also reflecting on his friendship with Payne and their former One Direction bandmates.

Louis Tomlinson is getting candid about his grieving journey one year after the death of his One Direction bandmate Liam Payne.

In an interview with The Independent, which was published on Saturday, the 33-year-old singer opened up about navigating grief in the past few years — after his mother, Joanna Deakin, died from leukemia in 2016, his sister Félicité passed away from an accidental overdose in 2019, and Payne’s death in October 2024.

“I naively thought that, at this point, I’d unfortunately be a little bit more well-versed with grief than other people my age. I thought that might mean something, but it didn’t at all,” Tomlinson explained.

“It’s something I’ll never really accept, I don’t think,” he said of Payne’s death.

One Direction — which included Tomlinson, Payne, Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, and Niall Horan  — was together for approximately six years from their formation in 2010 to their announcement of an indefinite hiatus in 2016. (Malik left in 2015). The group sold millions of records, travelled around the world, and grew up together in front of the eyes of the public.

While Payne had previously discussed the struggles he faced during the height of the group’s fame, Tomlinson has said in the past that he believes the adults around One Direction did well trying to protect and care for them.

Despite people trying to “point the finger” at who or what to blame after Payne’s death, Tomlinson said he “would probably still stand” by his previous statement.

“Obviously, that statement was made before… [and] I can only speak about my own personal experience, [which] was fine,” he explained.

“Look, in any situation similar to this, hindsight is a really powerful thing. I don’t blame anyone for my experience in One Direction,” he continued. “Was it really hard work? Yes. Did we not have enough days off? Yes. But what was really challenging, more than any of those things, was being young and really famous and having people outside the hotels. If you wanted to just go and get a coffee… even wanting to go for a s–t and having to walk [there] with your security. It’s dehumanizing, those kinds of things.”

However, amid the challenges, Tomlinson said, “no matter what, there was this feeling of togetherness” in the group.

When asked if Payne’s passing has brought him and his former bandmates closer, Tomlinson replied, “Definitely,” while also expressing his frustrations about how the group often struggles to make plans to meet up, before The Independent journalist noted that it’s a common predicament.

“Yeah, and the best kind of friends are the ones where, when you eventually do meet up, it’s like no time has passed,” Tomlinson said. “It’s also just amazing to see everyone doing so well in their own right.”

Payne unexpectedly passed away after fatally falling from his hotel balcony during a trip to Buenos Aires, Argentina, on October 16, 2024.

The 31-year-old singer is survived by his young son Bear, whom he shared with ex Cheryl Cole. His death came just a few days after his girlfriend Kate Cassidy, who had traveled to Argentina with Payne, returned home to care for their rescue dog, Nala.

During his interview with The Independent, Tomlinson said he has “so many” fond memories of his late friend.

“Just real, fun moments. Liam would always entertain me. If I was bored and wanted to have a laugh, he would play that role,” he shared, before bringing up examples of when Payne was “there” for him, including when he joined him as a guest when Tomlinson was a judge on The X Factor.

“This is in no way a comment aimed at the other boys — but I know if it was me, I would have struggled with that idea,” he recalled. “There [would have been] a feeling of inferiority there, because you’re the guest.

“But any opportunity Liam got like that, he was always, always there for me,” he added. “Even if he might have been struggling, he put himself second and still turned up. Those moments are really testament to the truth of who he was as a person.”

His interview comes just a couple of weeks after Tomlinson revealed the moment he found out about Payne’s death. During an appearance on the Diary of a CEO podcast earlier this month, he shared that he learned the tragic news from Niall Horan when he was in the car in Los Angeles.

“I had the same feeling that I had with Félicité,” Tomlinson recalled.