Everyone’s a critic, at least when it comes to the unspoken rules of attending performing arts events in Seattle. We recently asked readers to share proper etiquette for attending theater shows, concerts, dance performances, comedy sets and other events — and more than 80 of you responded. In addition to more obvious rules like turning off your phone and arriving on time, readers wrote about everything from how to sit, stand, clap — and even smell.
So, take a seat and let the show begin. As the Seattle arts scene kicks off a new season, here is everything you should and should not do, according to our readers. Responses have been edited for length and clarity.
DO: Keep good hygiene in mind
Seattle’s performing arts are meant to dazzle the senses. Exactly which senses they should dazzle remains unclear to some patrons, according to some readers. Nearly a dozen responses listed olfactory offenses as their primary pet peeve.
“This should be a no-brainer, but do launder your clothes and bathe before attending a performance,” said Bellevue resident Debra Borchert. “Those fleece jackets are great at wicking away moisture, but they trap odors. … If you can afford $125 tickets, you can afford to clean your clothes and yourself.”
One night at Pacific Northwest Ballet proved to be quite the ordeal for Seattle resident Bjorn Bjorklund. “A couple came in and sat in front of me. They had obviously been to a garlic palace of an Italian restaurant but the woman had on a bottle of Chanel No. 5 to top it off. The combination was enough to make everyone around want to move,” he recalled.
DON’T: Overdo the perfume or cologne
Even supposedly pleasant scents like perfume and cologne can quickly turn unpleasant when used in excess — or can trigger serious reactions, readers said.
“Please don’t wear perfume or cologne,” said Carol Zander, of Seattle. “With assigned seats, there’s no way to escape when one is allergic or sensitive.”
“They have no idea how people are affected,” added Denise Mohr, of Des Moines, who suffers from scent-induced headaches.
“My biggest irritant at an art event is people (men or women) who come to an event reeking of cologne or perfume,” Des Moines resident Judie Tice said. “They may not realize how overpowering it can be. I don’t wear mine anywhere where there are close quarters. I am happy to see businesses that ask their employees to refrain from using scents at their workplace.”
DO: Know when to clap at the appropriate times
One set of rules unique to classical music performances is when to applaud. Symphonies or concertos typically have three or four self-contained movements, like chapters of a book. It is common courtesy to hold applause until the end of the entire piece, rather than at the end of each movement, readers said.
“I cringe when, at the Seattle Symphony, people applaud before the end of the entire performance,” vented Bellevue resident Norma Line. “During pauses between the movements is not a time to applaud.”
But that doesn’t apply to jazz performances, where you should clap after a soloist finishes playing, Seattleite Jon Lellelid said.
Seattleite Bob Hollowell, who was raised by musicians and taught when to applaud and cheer during music performances, acknowledged those “concert hall traditions” can stifle true, human emotions.
“To me, those are the same emotions one feels at a jazz performance,” Hollowell said. “Personally, I have a certain degree of self-restraint. But I cannot fault those in the concert hall audience, truly moved, incapable of ‘sitting on their hands.’ ”
Here’s a tip from Cheryl Hanson, of Renton: If you’re unsure of when to clap during concerts, take your cue from the crowd and wait until more people start applauding.
DON’T: Crinkle those candy wrappers
Each performance venue has its own house rules on if food and drink are permitted inside. If you can bring candy or snacks (or need a lozenge to keep coughs at bay), readers kindly ask that you unwrap them at appropriate times to avoid creating a distraction.
“Noisy wrappers on cough drops and candies and the noise of fumbling in one’s purse for said items” is a social blunder, Seattleite Tamara Anderson said.
“If you must unwrap a lozenge, do so before the event starts,” Seattleite Jon Lellelid said. Or, wait until people are clapping to cover the noise, suggested Alice Hays, of Woodinville.
DO: Keep your phones down
Phones, phones, phones. Many readers lamented the pesky handheld devices, from screens lighting up darkened theaters to obscuring neighbors’ views while filming.
Wendy Henderson, of Issaquah, and Linda Harris, of Seattle, both urged fellow arts patrons to refrain from checking their phones, specifically so the bright screens do not distract others during the performance.
“You can surely wait until the intermission to answer or make that call that only you consider urgent,” Harris said. “This applies to the children that may be attending with you. I don’t care if you or they are bored, you can learn a lot by practicing patience and consideration of others.”
“My No. 1 pet peeve for live events are people who hold their phones above shoulder level to record the performance, often obscuring the views of those behind them,” said Ken Graff, of Seattle.
DON’T: Stand more than necessary
Jana Buss, of Burien, said she could write a book about her experiences with rude concertgoers. “Don’t get me started on the people who stand during concerts,” she said. “I’m in my 70s. I can’t stand for hours on concrete. I wish the venues would have areas that are for ‘sitting or standing only.’ I had a girl tell me to ‘(eff) off’ when I asked her to please sit down so I could see.”
When you need to pass by seat holders in your row, face the people while doing so, pleaded Linda Harris, of Seattle. “We don’t like having your butt in our face or in our stomach. If you must leave during the performance, do it silently and yes, with butts facing the row in front.”
At concerts, “if you want to stand or dance, go to an area that is designated for that purpose,” said Olympia resident Tammy Joy Losey. “We all paid money for our seats. Some of us are not tall enough to see over you if we did try to stand in order to see past you.”
Snohomish resident Teresa Rugg, who has attended several outdoor concerts, specifically pointed out people who keep leaving their seats. “Last year at a Lyle Lovett concert (at Chateau Ste. Michelle) … there was a constant stream of people coming and going from the area where one would think the biggest fans were seated and they wouldn’t miss a second,” she said. “I felt bad for Lyle and His Large Band because it seemed like people were leaving all the time, but the cheap seats cheered him on! I hadn’t been to a big outdoor concert for a while, so I thought I guess this is the new thing! Likely people drink too much and have bladders that must be relieved!
“In the big scheme of where our country is these days, I am still incredibly grateful for any experience with any performance! We need art in our lives in any way we can get it! Even if it means tolerating people walking in and out of a performance,” she continued.
More unspoken rules of attending performing arts events
“My biggest pet peeve is patrons of musical or theater events who insist on talking throughout the entire performance, as if they and their conversational companions were sitting alone on a park bench somewhere. … I remember seeing Buddy Guy once, who stopped singing and playing his guitar and, while using words I can’t reprint here, told an audience member to ‘Shut … up because all these fine people came to listen to me, not you.’ ” — Lee Libby, Lake Forest Park
“Dress for the theater. ‘Nutcracker’ kids always look wonderful but sometimes the parents look like they just came out of the barn.” — Leslie Foley, Snohomish
“I have had season tickets to Pacific Northwest Ballet for 40-plus years. Fortunately for PNB, the audience is getting younger but I’ve noticed a couple of things over the years. The bar for a standing ovation is getting lower, especially if it’s a younger/newer choreographer. Also, more audience members treat the ballet like a sporting event — hooting and hollering during a performance. Even though ‘everything is beautiful at the ballet,’ a little more decorum would be appreciated.” — Kathie Roon, Tulalip
Agree or disagree with these readers’ do’s and don’ts? Leave a comment below.
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