Rosie O’Donnell’s revelation that she had a face-lift that cost more than she ever paid for a car is pure poetry.
O’Donnell set her nip-and-tuck tale to verse in a Substack post on Tuesday in one of the more novel celebrity confessions.
“I used to feel very strongly about facelifts,” she wrote in the poem. “Not casually – morally. / I had assigned myself as head / of all women who would never – ever.”
But later, she said, “There’s a point where acceptance / starts to feel like lying.”
O’Donnell said she went through with a procedure in January to rejuvenate her lower face and neck, noting that she didn’t want to overdo it ― just look “less haunted.” The result, she noted, was a “slightly more well-rested emotionally stable version of me.”
Other people’s reactions, however, were a different story.
“And guess what – no one has noticed,” she wrote. “Not one person. / Not a friend, not a stranger, / not even people who owe me compliments / My teenager has not said a word. Nothing. / I went through a full existential feminist crisis, / had my face and neck surgically altered, / and the result is… zippo.”
The guilt didn’t help, either.
“It cost more money / Than I have ever paid for a car / such is my privileged place in this world,” she wrote. “And that feels almost shameful to me / The things I have – / Earned some say / But its the gross excess that wounds me.”
O’Donnell concluded on an upbeat note, noting that she’s “happier than I’ve been in years.”
She posted before and after photos on Instagram.
The comedian and “A League of Their Own” star applied for Irish citizenship last year, prompting a snide response from a rep for her longtime nemesis, President Donald Trump.
“What great news for America!” the White House spokesperson wrote.
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