‘SNL’ cold open features Aziz Ansari spoofing FBI’s Kash Patel

On “Saturday Night Live,” Aziz Ansari debuted an impression of FBI Director Kash Patel, who declared he is the “first Indian person to suck at their job.”

Surprise! Aziz Ansari is live from New York as FBI Director Kash Patel.

“Saturday Night Live” returned after a brief hiatus on May 2 and, in its cold open, featured the “Parks and Recreation” alum debuting an impression of Patel. The sketch took place at a press conference, where Colin Jost’s Pete Hegseth introduced Patel as someone who wanted to “say hello before he’s almost certainly fired.”

After taking the podium, Ansari’s Patel addressed the security incident at last week’s White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, where a suspect, Cole Tomas Allen, attempting to assassinate President Donald Trump. Prosecutors say that Allen tried to storm the dinner − where Vice President JD Vance and others from the administration were also in attendance − with multiple guns and knives, intending to kill high-ranking officials.

“Now, after the attempted assassination of President Trump − another one! − we conducted an investigation that could not have been more thorough,” Ansari as Patel said. “We dotted every ‘T’ and bulged every eye. And for those of you saying I’m doing a bad job running the FBI, well, what if I told you this agency is only six weeks away from pinpointing the exact location of Osama Bin Laden?”

Ansari’s Patel went on to declare he is a “trailblazer” as the “first Indian person to suck at their job,” proving that “we can be just as incapable and incompetent as the whites.” As he took questions, he insisted he is not worried about being fired. “Even the Correspondents’ dinner shooter said kill everyone but Mr. Patel. You get a shoutout like that in a psycho’s manifesto, you must be doing something right.”

The rest of the cold open centered on Jost as Hegseth giving an update on the war with Iran. After entering with a comically large drink, he told reporters, “This war has been a movie − specifically, ‘The NeverEnding Story.'” The sketch briefly acknowledged the recent drama surrounding Jimmy Kimmel, who Trump has demanded be fired from his late-night ABC show for jokingly calling first lady Melania Trump an “expectant widow.”

“I wear my religion on my sleeve − literally, I have a tattoo on my forearm of Jesus choking out Jimmy Kimmel,” Jost as Hegseth said.

Ashley Padilla also made a brief appearance as White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. “I’m about to go on maternity leave,” she noted. “That’s when you tell President Trump about your maternity, and he says, ‘Leave.’ “

James Austin Johnson’s Trump character was entirely absent from the sketch, making this a rare cold open without him.

Olivia Rodrigo gives ‘Drivers License’ a REAL ID update in ‘SNL’ monologue

Olivia Rodrigo hosted the May 2 episode of “SNL,” on which she also served as the musical guest. This was Rodrigo’s “SNL” hosting debut, though she has performed as musical guest twice before.

In her monologue, the Grammy-winning pop star joked about her upcoming third album “You Seem Pretty Sad for a Girl So in Love,” which broke from the one-word naming convention of her first two albums, “Guts” and “Sour.”

“I learned more words, guys!” she quipped.

She also joked about working with Jake Paul on the Disney Channel series “Bizaardvark.”

“We’d always talk about our futures, me and Jake,” she said. “I’d say, ‘I really want to create music that explores the complexities of girls my age, and he’d say, ‘Well, one day I really want to beat up old guys on Netflix.’ And we both did it!”

Rodrigo concluded her monologue with a parody of her 2021 debut single “Drivers License,” with new lyrics about a more recent experience: the frustrating process of trying to get a REAL ID.

“I approach the lady. She says I don’t have what I need,” Rodrigo sang. “She said my ID isn’t real. Well, then why did you give it to me? The lady said, ‘You need a pay stub.’ I said, ‘What the hell is that? I’m 23.’ “

Debbie Harry made a surprise cameo to introduce Rodrigo for her first performance, and her second song was introduced by “Heated Rivalry” star Connor Storrie, who hosted “SNL” in February. Both later joined Rodrigo on stage as she closed the show.