‘We’re all trying to pretend nothing’s different’ – Jo Whiley reveals the quiet pain of caring for elderly parents during the festive season

Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball tackle plenty of pertinent midlife issues as part of their brilliant podcast, Dig It.

The presenters often chat candidly about the challenges that come with HRT and getting the right help throughout menopause.

This year, Jo decorated her mum’s house ready for Christmas, something she hasn’t previously needed to do.

“It felt weird decorating my mum’s house because I’m not used to that, normally your parents decorate their house,” she says.

Jo continues to reveal that her mum is in quite a lot of pain on “so many painkillers,” that she’s “not quite the same.”

The presenter has been trying to organise outside help to come in and “take some of the pressure off” her mum and dad, but says her mum is reluctant to accept this, “desperately trying for everything to be the same.”

Her mums is also trying to maintain a persona of everything being fine, to avoid worrying Jo’s sister, Frances.

Frances has cri du chat syndrome, a rare genetic disorder caused by a partial chromosome deletion on chromosome five.

However, while they try to protect Frances’s feelings about the situation, Jo says she herself needs to face the “reality that mum can’t walk at the moment.”

“It’s this weird game,” she explains, adding, “we’re all trying to pretend that nothing’s different and everything’s the same” when it comes to her mum and dad’s declining health.

Speaking further about her parents, Jo shares that they’re “finding it very difficult to accept having help from professional people.”

Because of this, they’ve had to find alternative ways to cope instead. “You tend to rely on family friends, and people who have known us for a long time, to come in and just fit into the family and make it all feel normal,” she says.

“It’s actually not [normal],” she concludes, referring to the lack of normality and level of difficulty the situation brings.

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