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How my pal Nikki Glaser’s ‘humiliating’ Dave Matthews interaction shaped her ‘celebrity policy’

Story Center by Story Center
January 6, 2026
Reading Time: 14 mins read
0
How my pal Nikki Glaser’s ‘humiliating’ Dave Matthews interaction shaped her ‘celebrity policy’


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Comedian, actress, and podcaster Nikki Glaser is a force to be reckoned with. Though she was named in Time Magazine as one of 2025’s Most Influential People, her humility never lets it go to her head. She’s obviously hilarious, but in a way that pushes boundaries most didn’t even know existed. As a savage roast-master, she somehow simultaneously puts people at ease while she (sweetly) says the dark things we’re all thinking.

But it’s herself who she roasts the hardest. She’s unique and thoughtful with her approach to joke-writing, but is also not afraid to dig deep with the constant effort to better her life. She never shies away from getting truly vulnerable, making most people in the room feel like they’re her best friend. Luckily, I actually can call Nikki a friend and can wholeheartedly relay that she’s the kind of person who walks into a room and electrifies it. She’s not only wicked-smart, but she’s the kind of girl’s girl who shows up, no matter how busy she is. (I recall once complaining about the Los Angeles dating pool and within five minutes, she had set me up on a blind date.) She’s as solid as they come and I was thrilled to chat with her for Upworthy about some things I always wanted to know.

Upworthy: If you remember the movie Sliding Doors—if one thing had gone differently for you—what do you think you’d be doing?

Glaser: “I like to think that if my voice teacher in high school hadn’t taken my mom aside after one of our lessons and told her I had a bad voice and would never make it in musical theater, that I would have kept singing. And maybe would have been able to pursue a career in music, (not musical theater, she was probably right about that one). But I think that I just assumed she meant all singing. Now, I’m way too many years into singing improperly. I take voice lessons now, but it’s so hard to undo years of poor singing that I could have avoided if I had never given up.”

Glaser continues with the message she wishes she had received earlier, and wishes to impart on younger generations:

“In general, I think that if I had just gotten the message at a young age that talent isn’t born, it’s developed, I would have pursued more things that I thought I just didn’t ‘have.’ I was never someone who was naturally talented. Stand-up was literally the first thing in my entire life that I seemed to have a knack for, so I just kept doing it. I’m glad I did, but after I read the book The Talent Code in my 30s, I really understood that all I really needed to do to be talented at anything I wanted to be was put in the work.

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That’s why I always try to tell kids that they can’t give up if they aren’t good at something. You can literally be better than someone who is naturally talented if you just put more hours in than they do, even if they have a huge head start. I never thought of hard work as the best talent of all. I wish that message had been instilled in me more as a kid.”

Upworthy: To that point, if you had a “second dream”—anything you wanted to be at all—what would it be?

Glaser: “Besides a singer/songwriter, my true passion would have been to develop a CBD lip gloss line with H&M. JK. I mean, I’m open to it, but in general, I just wish my life’s work involved more animals. Animals are my passion, and traveling as much as I do, I don’t get to bring my dog as much as I’d like. I also would love to get a bird, but I’m never home and you can’t bring them on planes (I haven’t looked into it). That’s the only part of aging and inevitably getting edged out of show business that I’m looking forward to: I’M GONNA GO FULL BIRD LADY.”

Upworthy: Is there a joke you’ve written that you just can’t seem to make work?

Glaser: “I have a joke about how fat people are discriminated against, which is a little tricky because I am not fat. And no one wants to hear a skinny person talk about how hard it is to be fat, but at the same time, I notice it and I want fat people to understand that it’s bullshit and I see them. I’m not trying to be a hero or anything. I just know that my body and food issues stem from the way our society treats fat people and I just feel like not enough is being said about it.”

*Update from Upworthy

Speaking of jokes (or refraining from them) following the announcement of her return as host of the Golden Globes for the 2026 show on Jan. 11, Glaser also told People that Leonardo DiCaprio is at the top of her list for who to avoid roasting.

“I don’t think I’m going to go with the Leo jokes we’ve heard 25 times,” she said. “I think we’ve all heard that — that’s been done enough. My goal is always to try to not do what’s expected or try to challenge myself to not say the thing that people are going to expect and try something else.”

Upworthy: Who or what makes you consistently laugh?

Glaser: “As of late… Rachel Feinstein, David Spade, Martin Short as Jiminy Glick, Tim Robinson, and Chris Fleming. I also LOVED Jim Norton’s latest special on YouTube, UNCONCEIVABLE. And I was just texting earlier today with one of my funniest friends, comedian/writer Sean O’Connor, and we both declared that one of the funniest jokes we’ve ever heard was Nick Swardson’s joke: “I took my cat to the veterinarian today because my cat had diarrhea. And the vet was like, ‘What have you been feeding him?’ and I’m like, ‘diarrhea.’”

Upworthy: You have been very open about (and I hate the word journey) your “journey” with mental health. Any tips for people struggling with depression? Like if someone could do “one or two things” to help their mental health, what would you advise?

Glaser: “I would first try a free meditation app. That’s what I did when I was broke and was in desperation for any kind of relief from my negative thoughts. It really helped. I would also recommend 12-step programs. There’s one for just about everything (if you don’t have an addiction, look into the requirements to qualify for Al-Anon because that’s really a catch-all). The meetings and fellowship are free and you can go on Zoom and just listen if you are scared to share. And no, you don’t have to believe in God to go.”

Upworthy: Have you ever met someone else who’s famous and completely freaked out?

Glaser: “Yes, I’m quite an obsessive fan of celebrities who I love, and I can never seem to keep my cool when I meet them. I was a Dave Matthews stan in high school and I met him in 2018 and I humiliated myself by saying the word “sphere” a lot. I don’t even know why. It had nothing to do with the Las Vegas Sphere. It was well before that even existed. Thank God I got to meet him a few years later and act relatively normal.

nikki glaser, comedian, actress, podcaster, nikki glaser special, nikki glaser golden globes, golden globes, celebrity Dave Matthews with Stephen Colbert media2.giphy.com

My policy now with these kinds of icons is that I don’t really want to meet them. I just feel like a huge bother when I share how much they mean to me. Unless of course they are new to fame or have faded from the spotlight; then I’m happy to tell them. Like someone like Patrick Schwarzenegger. I ran into him at a party and it was right after the second episode of White Lotus season three, so I knew he wasn’t being hounded yet. I was happy to bother him and gush over how much of an incredible talent he is. As someone who’s not a huge A-lister, I get how much it means when someone tells you they like your work. But someone who is a global pop star doesn’t need me shaking and crying and telling her she saved my life. I don’t want to bother her with my anxiety. She needs to save her energy to write songs, not hug me so I stop convulsing.”

Upworthy: No matter how popular you get, is there one thing about you that will never change?

Glaser: “I don’t think people really ever change. I try! I am always holding out hope that I’ll somehow conquer my imposter syndrome and overall low self-esteem. I’m about to start EMDR therapy. We’ll see how that goes! I know that some artists and comedians argue that it serves their work to be depressed or anxious, but I feel like I’ve already mined all of my insecurities for material in the first two decades of my career. I’d like to change into someone who’s more confident, but don’t we all? I don’t want to ever think that I’m better than anyone else, but I’d like to lose the core belief that I’m worse than others.”

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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‘ The preceding article may include information circulated by third parties ’

‘ Some details of this article were extracted from the following source www.upworthy.com ’


‘O artigo anterior pode incluir informações divulgadas por terceiros’

‘ Alguns detalhes deste artigo foram extraídos da seguinte fonte celebrity.land ’

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