LGBTQ+ Reality Stars Share Advice for Younger Selves

This Pride Month, the bravest thing you can be is yourself.

For reality stars, sharing the good, bad and downright unpredictable moments of their lives look easy. But for those who identify as members of the LGBTQ+ community, life is a journey full of lessons learned along the way.

In celebration of Pride, Us Weekly asked members of the community — who appear on some of our favorite reality shows like The Valley, Below Deck, The Bachelor and more — to write personal letters to their younger selves about what they wish they knew about love, confidence and life in general.

What came next were messages of encouragement and hope that anyone can learn from. Keep reading to see what your favorite stars shared with all of Us:

The Bachelor’s Colton Underwood

To my younger self,
The thing you’re spending so much energy hiding is the same thing that will one day make your life make sense. I know right now it feels safer to be who everyone expects, but the people worth keeping are the ones who show up after you stop performing. You’re going to build a family, do work that means something and wake up next to someone who knows the real you and stays. Be patient with yourself in the meantime. The fear lifts, and what’s underneath it is a life you couldn’t have imagined from where you’re standing.
With love, Colton

The Valley: Persian Style’s Reza Farahan

To my younger self,
You may not believe this right now, but when you come out, your friends and family will embrace you. You’re going to meet the love of your life and you’ll get married; your friends and family will celebrate that love with you. It sounds cliché, but it does get better. The difficult times will only make you stranger and smarter.
You got this. The life you’ve always wanted is waiting for you to grow into it.

The Valley’s Jasmine Goode

Dear young Jasmine,
Don’t be afraid to love who you love. That love is real, it is valid and it is absolutely worth it.
The world you’re stepping into has so much room for you, exactly as you are. Walk into it with your head high.
Younger me, be proud. Not just because it’s Pride Month, but because you survived every moment that tried to make you feel like you weren’t enough.

Southern Hospitality’s TJ Dinch

To my younger self,
I know you’re worried about being accepted and wondering where you fit in, but one day you’ll realize that being true to yourself is your greatest strength. The path won’t look anything like you expect, but it will be better. You’ll have the courage to chase big dreams, create something of your own and inspire people simply by being yourself.
Stop worrying about what other people think and start believing in yourself sooner. You’ll be just fine.

The Valley’s Zack Wickham 

To my younger self, through all the questions, uncertainty and loneliness, you will find your chosen family and yourself. Never stop fighting for your rights and the rights of others because while it does get better, the fight for equality is never truly over.

The Bachelor’s Becca Tilley

To my younger self,
I know that you’re scared and worried about what people will think about you, but I want you to know that as soon as you let those fears go, your life is going to get so much more beautiful than you thought possible.

Below Deck Mediterranean’s Captain Sandy Yawn

Dear younger Sandy,
I know you’re scared.
I know there are nights when you lie awake wondering if you’ll ever truly belong. You spend so much energy trying to be who everyone else expects you to be that you’ve forgotten how beautiful it feels to simply be yourself.
You think your differences are something to hide.
They’re not. You have found joy, other ways to escape. The merry go round of drugs and alcohol.
One day, you’ll discover that the very things you’re afraid of today will become your greatest strengths and you will see the light and be in recovery to a life beyond your dreams.
You’ll learn that courage isn’t the absence of fear — it’s moving forward despite it.
You’ll face rejection. You’ll face judgment. There will be people who don’t understand your journey, your heart or who you love. But hear me when I tell you this: Their opinions will never define your worth.
You are not broken.
You are not too much.
You are not less than.
You are exactly who God created you to be.
One day, you’ll stand on the bridge of some of the most incredible yachts in the world. You’ll become a leader in an industry where few women have gone before. You’ll break barriers, shatter glass ceilings and prove that authenticity is a superpower.
Most importantly, you’ll find love.
The kind of love that feels like coming home.
The kind of love that reminds you that you never had to change to be worthy of being loved.
There will be moments when life feels impossibly hard. There will be losses, heartbreaks and challenges you never imagined. But there will also be joy beyond your wildest dreams.
Keep going.
Trust yourself.
Trust the journey.
And never apologize for who you are.
Your story will become a light for others who are still searching for their own courage.
One day, you’ll realize that the thing you feared most — being seen — became the very thing that set you free.
Walk boldly.
Love deeply.
Lead with kindness.
And remember, the world doesn’t need another version of someone else.
It needs you.
With love and gratitude,
Captain Sandy Yawn

Jay & Pamela’s Jay Thomas Manuel

Dear younger Jay,
I know there are times when you feel different and wonder where you belong, but never forget that you are enough exactly as you are. The qualities that make you stand out today will become your greatest strengths tomorrow. One day, you’ll find love, build a beautiful life and accomplish things beyond what you can imagine.
Trust the process, stay true to yourself and don’t let anyone else’s opinions define your worth.

Southern Hospitality’s Michols Peña

To my younger self,
Things may feel weird knowing you’re different but not understanding why. From making friends to being vocal at home and in relationships that you’re not sure how to navigate, always remind yourself that you will find your voice, peace and happiness soon.
You’ll be 18 years old before you know it and be able to explore everything life has to offer and truly come into your own, and when you do, all of the pain, tears, struggles and hardships will all be worth it. Be patient with yourself and never lose yourself because who you become will take you so far.

Big Brother’s Tommy Bracco

Dear Thomas,
I see you lie in bed and cry at night because you’re so desperately trying to suppress who you are. It feels like the world will end if you accept that you’re gay. It will not.
In fact, it’s even better than you imagine on the other side. Your family and friends will accept you, but most importantly, you will accept yourself. So wipe those tears, be brave and breathe through this challenging chapter of life. For it’s in the challenges we face that make us even stronger.

Southern Hospitality’s Lake Rucker

To my younger self,
Recognizing that you are worthy of love in all forms is the greatest accomplishment that you will achieve. Your queerness is not something you have to overcome; it’s part of what makes you beautiful. I know you feel like you are TOO different or TOO indecisive, but one day you will be celebrated for your differences.
You will grow to be more and more proud of everything you do because the dreams you’ve always dreamed about are coming true. Most importantly, remember that you are loved and appreciated.

Big Brother’s Christie Murphy

To my younger self,
You have a boyfriend?! Girl, be serious. You know why it feels “off.” Stop trying to force the puzzle piece!
You may date a few more frogs before the universe finally smacks you over the head with the answer, and when it does, don’t overthink it, don’t explain it and definitely don’t let other people’s opinions get louder than your own intuition. Trust the butterflies, trust your gut and stop keeping track of who approves. Do you really even care anyway? LOL, no. Because one day you’ll marry a hot woman, have babies, your dream house and the kind of love people wish they had. So relax, block out the noise and do what you’ve always done best — be unapologetically yourself!

The Circle’s Sammie Cimarelli

To my younger self,
The things that make you feel anxious today will one day become the things you’re most proud of. You don’t need to shrink yourself, change yourself or earn acceptance from people who aren’t willing to see your worth. Love will find you, but always remember you are the love already. The love you will receive is additional.
Soon you’ll stop believing you have to be anyone other than who you are, and the people meant for your life will celebrate you exactly as you come. Keep trusting yourself — there is so much joy, freedom and love waiting for you.

Survivor’s Carolyn Wiger

Dear younger me,
You’re never going to be normal, and thank God for that. The things people call “too much” will eventually become the things you love most about yourself. You’re going to make some questionable decisions, fall in love with who you want, fit in almost nowhere and somehow survive it all.
One day you’ll discover that being a frickin’ weirdo is way more fun than pretending to be normal.

Survivor’s Yamil ‘Yam Yam’ Arocho

To my little Yam Yam:
I know you think it’s OK to stay inside watching TV and not put yourself out there because you think you’re not pretty enough and don’t deserve to be as happy as everybody else. But one day, being exactly who you ARE is going to be exactly what makes you PERFECT … your body, your personality, your accent, your humor, your gayness, all of it.
You will find love, happiness and a life beyond what you can imagine. And you will love putting yourself out there and sharing who you are with the world. We all have this superpower inside of us; you just have to believe it exists. You will OUTWIT, OUTPLAY, OUTLAST all your greatest challenges and fears.
All of your biggest dreams will come true when it finally CLICKS and you realize that YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

90 Day Fiance’s Kenny Niedermeier

Dear Kenny,
I would tell my younger self that coming out during the 1980s will be harder than you can imagine. You will lose many friends to a heartbreaking epidemic, and there will be moments when fear and grief feel overwhelming. But hold on to hope, because the love and strength of our community will carry you through, and one day you’ll see a world with more acceptance than you ever thought possible. Those experiences won’t break you. They will make you more compassionate, more resilient and deeply grateful for the family you build along the way.
You will live your life for all your friends you lost, full of honor and PRIDE.

90 Day Fiance’s Armando Niedermeier-Rubio

Dear younger me,
Growing up in a small town with a small-town mentality, you’re going to feel scared to be yourself and afraid of being judged. You’ll be terrified to accept those unknown feelings in your heart, and for a long time, you’ll try to hide them because you believe that’s what you’re supposed to do.
There will be experiences that break your heart, but they will also help shape the strong, compassionate person you become.
One day, you will find the courage to fully be yourself, and you’ll discover a level of self-love and acceptance you never thought possible. You’ll also receive the support of your family in ways you couldn’t imagine, find the man of your dreams and build a beautiful life and family together. You’ll realize that the parts of yourself you once tried to hide are the very things that lead you to the happiest life you could have imagined.

Dear or No Deal Island’s Phillip Solomon 

Dear Phillip,
You are going to spend most of your life praying, hoping and wishing to be “just like everybody else,” but I promise, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. One day, there will come a moment where you are grateful that you are not. Even though it will feel like love is simply “not on the table” for you, you will embark on a journey of personal discovery and evolution that will force you to experience the most profound love story ever told; the one where you get to love yourself.
Your greatest aspirations in life are to be happy and make the world a better place by inspiring others, and, without giving too much away, you’re going to get your happy ending. Keep appreciating who you were, celebrating who you are and motivating who you’re going to be.

Big Brother’s Frankie Grande

Thank You!

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You’re perfect exactly the way that you are. If you feel like you’re in a place in this world where you don’t see yourself reflected, that’s understandable because our community is deeply under attack right now. But I will promise you that it will not always be the case. The people that are currently in charge will not always be in charge, and our community will get through this moment, and you will see yourself reflected in your peers and everywhere. If you don’t, just tune in to the Tonys because it is gay as f***.

The Amazing Race’s Will Jardell

To little Will,
Your shyness isn’t a weakness; you’re in survival mode, the quiet fight of a kid already doing the hard work of finding out who he is in a small Texas town. Being seen feels like the scariest thing in the world, but I promise, the moment you allow yourself to be seen is the moment your life really begins. I need you to hear me when I say: You are perfect exactly as you are. The day you let your true self out, that unimaginable weight will be lifted and the life waiting for you on the other side is better than anything you could dream up. You will marry the love of your life, find true happiness and live a life you are proud of surrounded by those who love you. You will stand on a global stage one day, fully yourself, no hiding and you will look back and realize that the kid who wanted to disappear was quietly building this dream life all along. You have to go through it to grow through it, and on the other side is a version of you that is confident, loved and completely unstoppable. Let your superpower fly, Will.
Love, Will

The Amazing Race’s James Wallington

Dear James,
I know how lonely it feels right now, carrying something inside you that you don’t yet have the words for, but keep watching those reality shows you love so much because your future is so much bigger than the one you can currently see. The moment you give yourself permission to be exactly who you are, everything starts to open up. You will live a life beyond your wildest dreams, and without even trying, you will become the very thing you needed most when you were a closeted kid hoping someone like you existed on the screen. And you will not walk any of it alone. Your great love is out there waiting for you, and one day a man will get down on one knee and propose to you at the finish line of the very show you grew up watching and dreaming about, and you will marry him in the wedding of your dreams. I promise it gets better. The world is waiting, James. Go after it.
With love, James