Everyone loves a fun reinterpretation of historical myth. While some stories forego historical accuracy and stay true to the essence of Greek/Roman mythology (most mid-2000s genre flicks embody this approach), others take a more informed approach to weave a powerful narrative rooted in authenticity (like Robert Eggers’ “The Northman”). Both strategies have their distinct allure; the fact that audiences still yearn for epic myths is proven by the hype surrounding Christopher Nolan’s “The Odyssey,” which promises genre-exclusive scope and spectacle like never before. That said, not every mythology-based story can accommodate a massive scale or remain faithful to source texts. So instead, they settle for abstract genre stereotypes or cannibalized myths to create an action-packed extravaganza with nothing worthwhile to offer.
You know the kind of movie I’m referring to, where its flaws are similar to those of Wolfgang Petersen’s “Troy” (which can only be described as a factually incorrect CliffsNotes version of “The Iliad”). However, Jonathan English’s 2006 mythological horror, “Minotaur,” doesn’t even sport the superficial visual beauty that “Troy” uses to lure unsuspecting audiences in. This Tom Hardy-starrer is pretty difficult to sit through — in fact, you don’t have to be well-versed in Theseus’ saga to figure out how botched or uninspired the narrative is.
Here’s a refresher about the myth in question: Theseus was a divine Greek hero known for slaying the Minotaur, and his journeys and exploits have been used time and again to tell spirited tales throughout the ages. English’s “Minotaur” fails to do anything fun or meaningful with the Theseus myth, as it spends too much time legend-hopping to create a garbled version of the familiar events. In fact, this myth-recycling gets so dire that we included the film in /Film’s worst Greek mythology movies list, which also contains entries like the deservedly-maligned “Wrath of the Titans.” It’s so bad that it’s actually Tom Hardy’s worst-rated movie on IMDb.
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Minotaur’s competent practical effects are its only saving grace
Michelle Van Der Water’s Queen Raphaella joins Theo inside the labyrinth in Minotaur – Lions Gate
A film has to be really flawed to sport a measly 3.7 on IMDb, and it is worth noting that “Minotaur” is Tom Hardy’s lowest-rated flick on the platform (his “LD 50 Lethal Dose” is a close second!). The film opens in the Minoan Bronze Age, which is a genuinely dark time, as youths are frequently sacrificed to the Minotaur in exchange for some vague sense of protection. Our Theseus stand-in here is Theo (Hardy), the son of the village chief, who is haunted by the sacrifice of his beloved.
After a prophetess tells Theo that his lover is still alive inside the labyrinth, he offers himself in the next round of sacrifices alongside bestie Danu (Jonathan Readwin) and several allies. You can see where this is going, as Theo is meant to evoke Theseus without fully taking on the weight of his myth, which, in theory, should lead to more freedom in this classic monster tale. Alas, this is not the case with “Minotaur” due to various reasons.
For starters, none of the characters make a lasting impression except for Tony Todd’s King Deucalion, who ramps up the melodrama with his elaborate bull-motif costume and a deliciously complex personality. Deucalion is the one mandating these horrific sacrifices, so it’s safe to say that he has no love in his heart for his people, but this brand of evil is played up by Todd in pitch-perfect ways. Sadly, the rest is so drab that even a lengthy labyrinth sequence with our morally upright heroes isn’t enough to heighten the stakes. Hardy’s Theo is your cookie-cutter heroic figure: he is loyal to his friends, he is tender-hearted, he wants to protect his beloved, and he’s brave enough to want to slay a mythical monster. If this sounds boring, that’s because it is.
Apart from a handful of well-crafted CGI, most of “Minotaur” relies on good old practical effects, which is a genuinely competent aspect of a film that fails to impress on every other front. But good practical effects cannot mask bad dialogue or questionable performances, especially when the story itself has nothing going for it. The half-hearted attempts to engage in philosophical themes, such as the question of whether the Minotaur is a mere beast or a divine presence, are never pursued with sincere curiosity.
“Minotaur” isn’t the best example of an early-career Tom Hardy performance, but you can stream the movie on Prime Video, Roku, or Plex if you’re feeling adventurous. In case you want to see the actor in a marginally better flick that released the same year, you can try the BBC remake of “A for Andromeda” instead.
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Read the original article on SlashFilm.
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